Rant #3,996: Shaving Cream

It is Thursday ...

The day of the week I dreaded for so many years.

Why?

Well, it is one day before Friday, so I still had one more day of school, or later, one more day of the work week, to get through before the weekend came.

It is also the say that for decades has been one of my shaving days, and I just hate to shave. This day hasn't changed whether I was going to school, working full time, or acting as a remote worker, so today is the day I shave ...

And I did just that this morning.

I hate to shave, and I am not a good shaver to begin with.

My father was a terrible shaver, always cutting himself and having to use a styptic pencil to mend his wounds.

Me, I use and electric razor, and even though I shave just twice a week now--also on Sunday, so on Sunday and Thursday each week--I have never really mastered the "art" of shaving, and I burn out electric razors at an alarming rate.

My son ... well, he takes after myself and my father, and he is not the greatest shaver either.

But I don't want to grow a beard--I have tried and it looks terrible on me, and itches like nobody's business--so I have to shave twice a week.

When I was working full time, I shaved three times a week, adding in Tuesday to the shaving mix.

So the one good thing about not working full time is that I have cut down on my shaving days, which is good for my face, and my razor.

And depending on the week, I can maneuver the days if I have to ...

For instance, let's say we are going out to a restaurant on a Saturday, I can shave on Saturday rather than on Sunday.

And there are weeks I shave just once, but those are few and far between.

Look, I am never going to be a member of ZZ Top.

Their classic lineup featured two members--guitarists Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill--who had long beards down to the middle of their chests.

And they had one member who didn't have a beard--

It was the drummer, and his name was ...

Frank Beard!

Well, I am no "Larry" Beard, but I am no "Larry" Gibbons or "Larry" Hill either.

I am me, myself, and I just hate to shave.

Such a waste of 15 minutes, such a limited return.

But I can't see myself with a full beard, which I probably could grow in about a week.

So shave I must ...

But no full body shaving for me!

It would probably take me at least an hour to do that.

While it doesn't grow on my head anymore, it grows everywhere else ...

I also hated to mow the lawn way back when, so mowing my body--

Out of the question--

And not by a hair.