Rant #3,994: Eye Candy

Now that I got my eye thing off my chest ...

So to speak, of course.

I learned a little more about why it happened yesterday morning.

Coincidentally, I had to take my son for his yearly eye checkup at the same place that I used to go regularly, but now can't because of my impending eye surgery.

I mentioned all of this to the doctor, and yes, she said that the prescription might have led to the retina tearing ...

Because since I am so near-sighted, the eye strained to fit the new prescription I had, and after three years, it just tore very slightly.

She said it is a rare occurrence, but it does happen, so I guess I am once again God's chosen person to suffer this year.

Thank goodness my son's eyes are OK.

His examination went quite well.

Me, I am not too happy right now, but eye ... err ... I ... will get over it, I guess.

I also brought in my car for an oil change.

After driving 2,100 miles in about a week with one good eye, I figured it was time to get my car some new oil.

It was time anyway, so it all worked out, scheduling-wise, pretty well.

And I was expecting the worst here ...

You know, you go in for an oil change, and they tell you about 23 other things that are wrong with your car, and you have to fix them NOW--

And you come out with a bill eight or nine or 10 times what just the oil change costs.

It has happened to me many times in my driving life, and it happened to my wife about two or three weeks ago.

And I have a six-year-old car, one that I just refinanced, so I was expecting the worst.

Happily, I only needed the oil change, so that made me feel good.

At this point, I look for little things to make me feel good, and this was one of those things.

And I didn't get any further surprises during the remainder of the day, so I guess that made me feel good too.

I don't know if you know this, but the one organ in your body that stays the same size when you are born to when you leave this earth is the eyes.

That is why newborns have that "full," adorable face when you see them, with the eyes almost too big for their head and face.

But all your other organs grow with you, but the eyes stay the same.

I would have never thought I would have eye problems other than being near-sighted, but that is what I am facing right now.

OK, I said enough about my eyes.

No more talk about that part of my body for a couple of weeks.

Let's talk about my kidney, my prostate, my quad muscle, my butt.

How appetizing that kind of talk is!

But nothing more about my eyes ...

OK?

Say "eye" ... err ... "aye" if you agree.