Rant #4,026: Dreamer

Nothing new to report on any front related to my health and my upcoming eye surgery.

I vowed to myself to do my normal things during the period leading up to the surgery, and I have done just that.

I even dropped off and picked up my son from work, and that included some driving at night, which was concerning, but turned out fine.

This week I will continue to "normalcy" before my big day on October 13--thank goodness it is not Friday the 13th--by being as busy as a bee, maybe more so.

I have a ton of things to do today--including pickup up various medicines for myself, such as the one I will use for my colonoscopy in late December--and during the rest of the week, I have a pre-op visit, I have another visit with my urologist to discuss that situation, and I have several other things to attend to, including work.

I guess it is good that I am so busy, because it, at least temporarily, takes my mind off of my upcoming surgery.

My goal for the post-op is to get better as quickly as I can, because I do not want to miss my daughter's wedding on October 31.

Yes, it is right on Halloween, and whatever feelings I have expressed about this event, and my daughter, really doesn't matter that much given the situation at hand--

And I really want to attend her wedding.

It is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me, and I do not want to miss it.

That, of course, will be up to my body and my doctor, but I absolutely want to be there, in person, to see her get hitched.

I don't know the groom at all--I met him three times, under very trying circumstances--and I just wish that he treats my daughter with the respect that she deserves, and that they have a long marriage.

Me, who am I?

I am just the father of the bride, but I am being treated like any other guest there, with no special honors or anything signifying that I am the father of the woman who is at the center of attention that day--

That is my daughter's choice, I do not understand it at all, but heck, I just want to be there to see it all happen.

Is that too much to ask?

I don't know ...

It might be.

But at least if I am there, I will have achieved my goal ...

Not just to be there, but my health goal, which is to be healthy as calendar year 2026 approaches its merciful end.

I will continue to be in and out of my perch here at the Rant during the coming days and weeks, and hopefully, I will have better and nicer things to talk about while I am here.

So while I won't be doing a daily Rant for the foreseeable future, I will be providing content here and there.

That is just how it has to be as I lead into the surgery, finally get the work that I need getting done to repair my eye, and move onto the post-op experience, which I have been led to believe is not pretty, at least initially.

But the goal is to be at my daughter's wedding, and that is the carrot in front of my face--and eye--right now, something that I can hopefully achieve.

Good luck to me--

I am going to need it.

Now, let me take a step back from the Blog, vote on my official mail-in ballot that I received in my mailbox this weekend while I can still see it fairly clearly ...

And I will speak to you again--

Soon, I hope.

Rant #4,025: Keep On Pushing

As the week comes to a close, I have absolutely nothing else to report on my condition ... 

Which, perhaps, is a godsend, because I have been through a lot.

Too much, if you ask me.

I drove for the first time in more than a week yesterday, because I had to go to my allergy doctor for my monthly shots.

It was good getting into the car, but I am far from 100 percent, and probably won't be until I get the eye operation and go through the post-op situation.

Look, I have been treated poorly by the medical establishment, and I know that I am not alone, based on what I have heard from others.

Why this happens--and why it has become endemic--is beyond my comprehension, but like I said, I am not going to pull a "Mangione" about it--

I am just going to put my faith in my latest doctor to do the job.

There really is nothing more than I can say about it, other than I hope I am heathy enough to go to my daughter's wedding at the end of October.

It would be a shame if I could not be there on her special day.

I have said all I am going to have to say about this situation, at least right now.

I want to move on to something else, something a bit sad, but having nothing to do with me.

A neighborhood presence passed away the other day, and I just want to make note of it.

Living in Massapequa for more than 50 years, there are people that you meet, people that you get to know, and people who are an enigma.

The person I am going to speak about was an enigma, somebody who I did not know personally, but he made his mark on Massapequa and everyone that has lived there over the past half century.

His name was Don. I did not know his last name, but I first encountered him in high school.

He was a senior, I was new to the area and a freshman, and I passed him in the hallway of Massapequa High School several times, and, well, I just found him to be a little ...

Weird, for the lack of a better expression.

We never spoke, never had a conversation, and yes, I know you cannot judge a book by its cover, but I did with this guy.

We went our separate ways--me going on to college, grad school, marriage (twice), kids, etc.--but Don went on to other things too.

He became a real neighborhood presence, as he became "the guy with the shopping cart," walking through Massapequa collecting cans and bottles to add to his cart, which he pushed from one end of the area to the other, no matter what the weather.

Was this guy homeless, was he disturbed, what was his situation?

I have no idea, no idea to this moment, but he was "the guy with the shopping cart" for literally decades.

I had heard many stories about him and his life during those decades, and I don't know if any of them were true or not, but there were a lot of stories about him and his plight.

My father even gave him a few dollars when he used to see him in fast food places in Massapequa, and on occasion, I would give him a bag of bottles and cans to redeem.

But he plowed on, pushing his shopping cart for decades ...

And while he was doing that, everyone in Massapequa knew of him, as "the guy with the shopping cart," who would push that cart during 100-degree days and zero-degree days too, through snow, rain, and yes, Hurricane Sandy.

One of his frequent stops was the record store I regularly go to, and he was quite the character, with everyone in the record store very fond of him and bewildered with him, at the very same time.

And he continued to push that cart all over town, day after day, year after year, decade after decade.

I had heard that he was not physically well the past few years, but you would still see him pushing that cart, and I still saw him regularly pushing that cart around Massapequa when my family and I moved to nearby Farmingdale.

He was an enigma. He was a presence. He was a neighborhood fixture in his own way.

The other day, through Facebook, I heard that he passed away. A wake was held in his honor, and if I was well, I would have been there.

So Don is gone.

There will be no more pushing of his cart in Massapequa, but perhaps he is pushing that cart in a better place now.

R.I.P. Don.

In a funny way, he made his mark in the world, and it all was because he was "the guy with the shopping cart."

He made his mark by pushing that cart, and it tells us that we all must keep on pushing, whether it is a shopping cart or simply through life, and its ups and downs and all arounds.

"Keep on Pushing."

Have a great weekend, and I will speak to you again when I am up to it.

Rant #4,024: Honesty

I am seemingly in some type of black pit, not of my own making, but I am there, and I simply cannot get out.

The medical establishment that we, as a society, have to deal with is broken, and while I won't be doing a "Mangione" on this situation, I am the perfect example of why the current system doesn't work.

Yes, it has to do with Obamacare from several years ago, and also the ultra-reliance on the Internet to do everything related to health care.

You mix those two things together, and you get a powder keg of problems ready to explode, and right now, it has exploded into my face, and mainly at my right eye.

And if you have Medicare, and probably with Medicaid too, you are sunk, like you are wearing cement boots.

Doctors do not want to deal with Medicare for one reason or another, but for people like me, who have only Medicare and no other health insurance, you are sunk.

I could count the ways, but let me describe to you the latest gaffe I have experienced related to this utter nonsense, stuff that I should not have to deal with, but stuff that has been thrown on my head to clear up all by myself.

Yes, it is time for--

More medical ineptness!

I was told that my medical insurance may not cover my upcoming operation, because it is a Medicare PPO. 

Even if it is under a well-known insurance company, Medicare is garbage, so the necessary surgery might come under some financial scrutiny that it wouldn't go under if it was not Medicare based.

I only found this out because I went through the Internet-mandatory check-in, and it only listed my insurance company name without the "Medicare" attached.

Anyway, I was not happy to find this out, but the woman I spoke to over the phone related to the check-in sent me a financial aid form, which I quickly filled out, with income-related attachments, via email.

Everything seemed to be hunky-dory.

WRONG.

I received an email telling me that the financial department of the medical facility received the form and the attachments--

BUT IT WAS THE WRONG, OUTDATED FORM!!!

And to add to the mess, my place of work sent me a 1099 form for the work I did for them in 2025, but it did not have the year that it covered on the form!

Funny, the state and federal tax departments accepted the 1099 form as is, but the hospital financial department would not.

I called the financial office nearly in tears, and a woman there apologized, stating that she will alert the person who sent this to me that the wrong form was sent.

To make a longer story shorter, I had to provide further tax documentation of my income, had to fill out the new financial document, and hopefully now that it is correctly done, I will find out the result sometime soon.

But again, I am a victim of gross ineptness and incompetency.

THIS IS NOT THE WORLD I WAS BORN INTO, AND THIS IS NOT WHAT RETIREMENT IS SUPPOSED TO BE ALL ABOUT.

Sure, you can say I sound like a broken record, but what I am telling you is the God's honest truth.

If you don't have to go through this, consider yourself lucky, and I do mean, VERY lucky.

And I am sure that I am not alone in experiencing this.

Inept doctors, staffs and insurance companies are ruining the quality of life of so many people, including me, and there really isn't very much I can do about it.

I am a peon, a number, an entity that they can make money from, and that is pretty much it.

Well, I am not a peon, I am not a number, and I am not an entity that they can make money from.

And as long as I keep my head straight, which is becoming more difficult to do lately, I will survive.

But I should not have to deal with such ineptness, no way, no how.

I don't even know how to end this Rant entry, because I know that I am far from done in dealing with these entities.

But let's just end it by saying that ...

Honesty is the best policy, and if I can alert just one person to be prepared for this nonsense, I think I have done my job.

Speak to you soon.

(P.S.: After making many calls yesterday, I reported the doctor and her surgical coordinator to the medical group they work for, and again, I had to use the term "getting a lawyer" to have them move on my complaints.

Late in the afternoon, the doctor actually called me on the phone from her car, and she defended herself in every way, which, of course, demonstrates her guilt more than anything I could ever do.

I also later found out that the doctor never forwarded information about my case to the new doctor who is actually handling the surgery, and that is why the new doctor told my wife and I that he didn't know why we were there when we went to his office last week.

Getting back to my former doctor ...

To end this discussion, as she was driving in her car, she said that she would look into firing her surgical coordinator for not providing her with the proper information about me ...

And the doctor yelled at me on the phone, and I ended up hanging up on her after she said she would look into firing the surgical coordinator.

Sorry, I don't like to see people lose their jobs, but in this case, putting me in such a negative physical position, it was warranted.

I am a quiet, shy guy, but if you get me started, you are going to get it right between the eyes.

All I ask is that people open up their ears and listen to what I have to say.

If they don't, they are going to get it, and going to get it the right way.

Incompetence needs to be addressed, and the moral of the story is that if something is not right --

OPEN UP YOUR MOUTH AND TELL PEOPLE THAT WHAT IS HAPPENING ISN'T RIGHT!!!

Period.)

Rant #4,023: Shake Hands and Walk Away Cryin'

My newest eye operation appointment is October 13.

The first eye doctor who tried to perform the surgery completely failed me in every way imaginable, and now I have to wait a couple of weeks for the operation to, hopefully this time, be completed.

The surgery is one thing, the aftermath is another.

I am going to have to lay prone on my stomach for at least a week while the bubble inserted into my eye sets into place and begins the process of healing the eye.

I can get up for periodic breaks, like going to the bathroom, but for at least a week, and maybe more, I have to lay like this so the bubble can do its work.

And there are no guarantees that it will improve the situation.

And did I tell you that there is a problem with my health insurance related to this newest surgery? 

I have been trying to work it out using one and a quarter eye, but funny how people double-talk you even when it comes to a medical situation.

I even had to put in for financial aid related to the surgery, and there are no guarantees that I will get it.

Thanks, Medicare, for adding another brick to my already very heavy load.

And all of this is fermenting with my daughter's wedding come up on October 31, Halloween.

I really would like to attend my daughter's wedding.

It is going to be a different kind of wedding, one of complete and total narcissism, one where I am just another guest, even though I am the father of the bride.

I wanted to make a speech, but my daughter doesn't want me to.

I wanted to give her away, but my daughter doesn't want me to.

I wanted to have a father/daughter dance, but my daughter doesn't want me to.

She dares to be different--yes, the wedding has a Halloween theme--and while I do believe that my daughter is standing on ceremony to be oh so different, even though the wedding is on its face, a pretty traditional one, I have begrudgingly agreed to what she wants to do, because I really don't have a choice in the matter.

The worst thing about it is that I might not be able to attend anyway, and I blame that on the original doctor's complete and utter disregard for what I told her about myself and anesthesia.

I might be one in a million, but my malady is itself very rare, and she and her associates should have passed me off to someone else immediately when I told them what I did.

Instead, they started the process, found that I was correct in what I told them, and had to stop the surgery with only part of it completed.

If they would have immediately passed this on to a more competent doctor, I might not be in the situation I am in now, but again, it was just another day at the office for the doctor.

She even told me they do "hundreds" of these operations a day ...

But I guess that didn't include mine.

So now I am firmly stuck in a predicament not of my own making, and as usual, it has to do with complete and utter incompetence.

They will get what they deserve at a later date, but right now, I just have to do as well as I can with what I physically have at my disposal.

It is tough to go on the computer to type something like this Rant out, but I was already on the computer doing some work--I cannot stop that--so I figured I would kill two birds with one stone and type out a brand new Rant for you.

But who knows when I will be back here, probably intermittently leading up to the surgery, and then after the surgery ...

Who knows. 

I have to heal, physically, mentally and emotionally, but with everything dumped on me like it has been, it isn't going to be too easy.

So while I am upset, while I am a bit depressed, while I don't know where I stand right now or in the immediate future, I can tell you one thing:

I am not giving up hope, not at all.

There is gold at the end of my distorted rainbow, and I am going to make the best of whatever this circumstance leads to.

My family comes first, and without a good family, I could not believe in myself as much as I do.

I also can laugh at myself, and a good sense of humor does, in fact, help me deal with this inane situation.

But I will tell you another thing:

This cannot possibly be retirement, it just can't be what retirement is all about.

While others bask in the glow of finishing their careers, I can't do that.

If nothing else, this latest episode proves that, once and for all.

So don't even try to dispute what I have said since day one of this situation I am in:

Retirement, at least for me, is not retirement at all.

It is a dreadful purgatory.

Some people are born to suffer, and I am proving each and every day that I am one of those people.

I don't know why things are the way they are, but I will, somehow get through this--

And move on to the next phase of my dreadful purgatory of supposed retirement.

What else can I possibly do?

Is that all there is?

Is there something else on the other side of the door?

Maybe you can answer that, but right now ...

I have nothing else to say on this matter, other than--

"May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live."

Rant #4,022: One Toke Over the Line

Heck, I don't know if I am cursed or not, but boy, am I upset.

Let me tell you about what is going on with my eye problems, and it ain't pretty.

As scheduled, I went into surgery on this past Monday, but the surgery was never completed. It was only done partially, and I still sit here with a detached retina.

The reason the surgery was not completed was due to the incompetency of the doctor and more directly on her staff, who clearly have their own agendas and don't listen to what the patients has to say about his or her own care.

When a staff member spoke with us prior to the surgery, I told this ignoramus that I have been listed as what is called an "Uncooperative Patient," based on an incident that happened 19 years ago when I had my gall bladder removed.

I woke up in the middle of the operation, tried to pull out whatever they were using to remove the gall bladder, and had to be held down by six male nurses to complete the operation.

I was told that henceforth, when I have an operation, I must alert the doctor and staff about this incident, and they would proceed with anesthesia accordingly.

So I told the staff member about his, adding that I wanted to be completely "knocked out" when the ye surgery was performed, and she assured me that I would be.

So, last Monday, as I was being prepped for the surgery, I was told that the first "part" of the surgery would have me completely knocked out, but that for the second part of the surgery, I would have to be awake so that the doctor could ask me to turn my head in a certain way while she was repairing the retina.

I said that I was told that I would be fully under anesthesia for the ENTIRE procedure, and I, again, told them why.

They told me not to worry, that they do "hundreds" of these procedures every day.

I was already prepped, I was scared and nervous and crying--literally--about this change of events, but I tried to be a good soldier and go through with it.

The next thing I knew, I was drinking apple juice and eating cookies.

The doctor told me that I was moving around so much that she could not perform the surgery. She did not want to cut my eye, which would have led to total blindness.

DUH!

So I went home with part of the surgery done, and part of it not done. 

I had bandages on the eye, and I had to see her the next morning.

When I met with her, I told her my concerns, and I swear to you, she said to me this:

"So."

I was not a happy camper, because her robotic reaction to my experience was uncalled for.

I told her that her staff did not handle me correctly, and quite frankly, neither did she.

She sent me to another doctor apart from her own practice, who then passed me on to yet another docotr.

We met with the doctor this past Thursday, and my case is not as "simple" as the original doctor made it out to be.

It seems that after the doctor examined me fully, he discovered that the tear is on the back side of the eye, which makes it a much more complicated surgery--

So who knows if the original doctor could have done the surgery to begin with! She never mentioned that fact to me, never let on that it was something way worse than normal.

I am now scheduled for surgery on October 13, which is going to really cut it short for my daughter's wedding.

But yes, I can be repaired, although there is absolutely no guarantee that my full vision will be restored.

And yes, I will get the full anesthesia from the first moment of the surgery until the last moment of the surgery.

This is devastating news for me and for my family.

What did I do to deserve this?

I just want the procedure done and over with.

And the recovery ...

Let's just say that it isn't pretty.

The original doctor and her staff did not listen to a word I said, just went along procedurally without listening to what I had to say, and now I am in a mess.

I have to cancel several other medical visits that I was to have during this period leading up to my daughter's wedding, and this whole thing is making me upset, depressed and beside myself.

But at least I trust the new doctor, who gave me as thorough an eye examination as possible to determine that my case is not so atypical.

Woe is me, what did I do to deserve this?

As far as the blog, it was a trying time even typing this entry out, so I will probably be in and out of her for the next few weeks.

I have forced myself to work, to hand in stories, but it is not an easy task.

So I will be speaking to you intermittently, and if I make a few spelling or punctuation errors, just understand that I am really working with about one and a quarter eyes right now, and I am not up to my total competency.

Have a nice weekend, and I will speak to you sometime down the line.

And pray for me ...

I need it.

Rant #4,021: Eye Do!

The rehearsal dinner is over, and now the wedding is being held today.

I wish my nephew and his bride the best!

And when that is over, on Saturday, my son starts his bowling league again as a member of the team that is the league's defending champion, and then he has a 30th birthday party to attend for one of his teammates.

When that is all over and done with, on Monday morning, I get the absolute pleasure of having my slightly detached retina repaired!

It is a pleasure, take it from me!

Not the type of pleasure you might think it is, but I guess you have to look at it that way if you are in my shoes.

It has to be done, it has to make my vision better, and I have to get it done NOW, on Monday.

The surgery will probably force me from atop my perch here for at least a week, if not more.

And how I am going to do my work is another story.

I don't know what my limitations will be as I heal, but hopefully, I will get better quickly and be able to come back here and write about all these things that are important to me, and hopefully, interesting to you.

And get back to work.

But I don't know how long that will be, so this might just be my final Rant for some time.

I hope it isn't too long a recovery, because I just have so many things to do, that even a day off will be like an eternity.

Once I get the bandages off my right eye, I will begin the healing process, and I have all sorts of eye drops to use to get me better as quickly as possible.

So I am just going to have to wait, and I am just going to have to be patient.

My daughter is getting married next month--on Halloween--so that is my goal, to be at least good enough to see her take the plunge, so to speak.

And in between all of that, I have the pleasure of having another colonoscopy, which hopefully will go well.

Let's not forget that I also have an appointment with my urologist about my kidney stones ...

And I still have to make sure that my mother's grave is being properly attended to.

Yes, I have a full plate ahead of me, and hopefully, all will go well.

I have to be positive, because how else can I be at this point?

The eye operation will be my fifth operation this year, and hopefully, it will be the last during this calendar year and into the near future, at least.

I am also having the surgery on Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year on the Jewish calendar ...

I mean, why not? 

I am supposed to suffer that day as I pay penance to God and my religion, so I guess I will do the ultimate suffering on that day.

I have to show that I am worthy to live another year, so I hope God can "see" that I should not be crossed off in his book.

Funny, my paternal grandfather came from Poland to this country in the early 1900s, and he came with no records of his birth, so nobody really knew how old he was and when he was born.

I think we kind of thought that he died when he was about 90 or 91 or 92, but we had no idea about his birthday.

He didn't either, and when the subject would come up, he said he was born on--

Yom Kippur, the ultimate day on the Jewish calendar for suffering.

I guess if that is true, my great grandmother truly suffered that day when she had him, but we never knew if that was a true story, and furthermore, Yom Kippur is a different day every year, so who knows when he was actually born?

But I loved him--as I did all of my grandparents--miss him to this day, and whatever date he was born on, he lived a full life.

So to my Pop Jack, happy birthday in heaven, and I know that you are getting thrown out of another pinochle game up where you are ...

Another story for another time.

As for me, I have another surgery to go through, and I just hope I have a good meld and hit a double pinochle and get through all of this well.

Wish me good luck!

Have a great weekend, have an easy fast on Yom Kippur if you are Jewish--

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

And I will speak to you again when I can see clearly again.

It is just that simple.

Rant #4,020: The Secret of My Success

Today is the beginning of a really crazy period for myself and my family.

It features a lot of highs, a lot of lows, and a lot of in-betweens kind of blending into each other.

My nephew on my wife's side of the family is getting married on Friday, and today, we have a rehearsal dinner to attend.

I have absolutely no idea what a rehearsal dinner is, and why some people have them.

That is not a knock against them; I just don't know why such an event is held, especially since the marriage ceremony and reception are the very next day.

I think it is a kind of a "get-to-know-you" event, perfect for situations where those going to the wedding don't necessarily know each other very well, and it creates a nice, friendly environment right before the wedding.

I think it is held right after a run-through of the wedding ceremony, and is only attended by those in the wedding party and other relatives.

I backed up these thoughts by visiting The Knot website (https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-rehearsal-basics?utm_source=Pinterest&utm_medium=organic) where they pretty much echoed what I thought a rehearsal dinner was.

Here is the site's brief description:

"Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner is a meal following the practice run (or rehearsal) of the wedding ceremony. It takes place on the eve of the wedding day (less commonly a day or two earlier, depending on your schedule) and is the final pre-wedding event before the couple is married. On top of giving the couple some quality time with loved ones, the rehearsal dinner is a chance for both families to gather and kick off the wedding festivities—an ideal way to introduce relatives and friends who haven't met before."

So, based on my assumptive summation and the description of the event on this site, it should be a fun, and interesting, event, one I can check off my list of things that I have never done.

Then tomorrow, we have the actual wedding, something that I am really looking forward to.

It is a traditional wedding, and the glitz and glamor--and the food--should be exciting.

It is going to be a great affair, and I wish my nephew and his bride all the best--

They deserve it!

My son is in the wedding party, and we have seen him in his tuxedo, and he really looks sharp!

He may never get to wear a tux again, so he should live the moment, because the very next day on Saturday, the tux goes back to the rental place.

And on Saturday, my son's bowling league starts up again, where his team is the defending champion, so that should be fun.

Later in the day, he was invited to a friend's 30th birthday party, so it really should be a nice--and busy--day for my son.

Sunday is a day really for us all to rest up, because on Monday--

I am scheduled for my eye surgery, right on the day of the most solemn holiday on the Jewish calendar--

Yom Kippur.

It just worked out that way, as it was the first day that my doctor had open to do this surgery.

Yes, I have had surgeries and procedures on other holidays and on my birthday, so why not on Yom Kippur?

You have to fast on the holiday to show your solidarity and penance with God, and I can't eat, anyway, before the surgery, so it kind of all fits together like a piece of the puzzle of my current life.

Yes, I am a bit nervous about it, but it is something that has to be done.

It might lay me up for a period, but I will get better and be myself within time.

But let's not put the cart before the horse.

We have a rehearsal dinner to go to today, and that should be a lot of fun!

And the wedding--

Congrats to the bride and groom, and we wish them a successful union.

I think that I am going to choose the word "success" as the theme for the next few days.

Because everything that is happening into next week will be just that.

And I don't need any rehearsal to fully believe that.