Rant #4,029: Looking For Clues

Tomorrow is my big day ...

I am finally going to get the eye surgery I was supposed to have had a few weeks back, a surgery that never happened--

Or only partly happened, I am still not sure.

Negligence ruled the roost that day, and instead of being in recuperation right now, I have to go through the prep and everything else all over again.

Let's hope that with a new doctor and his team behind me, I can get this done, once and for all.

I would really like to attend my daughter's wedding on Halloween, so I will have 18 days to recuperate from this nightmare, which is exactly what it has become.

So last week, I tried to do as much as I could to get things done, because I know that I won't be able to do too much after the surgery.

And I am only going to fill you in on some of the stuff I did, because I did a whole lot more.

First of all, I was alerted that one of my doctors will not longer be on my health plan come 2027, so I went out looking for a new Medicare plan for myself, a goal which still isn't completed.

I spent hours on the phone trying to sort things out, but my current health plan dropped my doctor and all the doctors under the umbrella title they go under--

I have no idea why, but because of this--and for one, single doctor--I have to search for another health plan.

It wasn't an easy task, and I still don't have a new plan yet.

I went through dozens of providers, but they simply do not cover all of my doctors.

So after hours and hours of calls and misery, I finally found one provider that is willing to work with me on this, and I expect a call from them when the new coverage period goes into place--

Yes, the same week that I will be recuperating from the surgery.

I told them that they might have to speak to my wife if I am not up to speaking with them, and they are OK with it.

So that is how it goes ...

Thank you, President Obama, for Obamacare, which is the cause for all of this misery for seniors related to Medicare.

I did many other things, including having my car checked out for a relatively minor problem that turned up out of nowhere last week, and let me tell you, I was as busy as a bee getting everything in order--

And to this moment, I am pooped.

But not as pooped as my son, who has a slight cold related to working in the rain the previous Sunday.

I have tried to stay away from him as much as I can, because if I get his cold, I can't go under the knife tomorrow.

I can't afford to push this thing back any longer.

Anyway, I did many other things that had to be done--including some other doctor visits--I did some work, I drove my son back and forth to work, and yes, I conked out a couple of times, because as I said, I was pooped.

I even got a haircut, and related to the black cloud that I seem to be under, even thst didn't go smoothly--

For the first time in my lifetime of getting haircuts, the barber actually cut me, and i was bleeding.

It is so nice to get a haircut when your barber is on his cellphone and otherwise carrying on conversations with other barbers--in a foreign tongue--when he is supposed to be cutting my hair, isn't it now?

I am not looking forward to the surgery--who would be--but on the other hand, I am looking forward to it--

To get it over and done with.

And I really mean, get this ALL over and done with, because this has been some year I, and my family, have been through.

If it is not one thing, it is another, and I will tell you another thing to prove what I just said.

On Thursday evening, I received an email from the Suffolk County Board of Elections, stating that they received my ballot, but that they could not accept it because--

The middle envelope was not correctly sealed.

I had to sign an attestation that they should accept my ballot as it is, which I sent off to them via online fax that evening and in the regular mail, too.

A few questions:

1) How could this possibly be? Did I forget to seal the middle envelope, or was the seal broken by some entity trying to get into my ballot?

2) Why does everything I try to do turn into a catastrophe not of my making?

I have no answer to any of these questions, but you have to admit, it is pretty eerie.

More, more, more ...

Then, on Friday, I received a bill in the mail for my eye surgery that never happened.

Talk about chutzpah!

I made many calls on this, all the way up to the vice president of the eye care company which oversees the doctor that did not perform the surgery.

Finally, after more calls and even a long text on this subject, the VP told me that the situation would be resolved by him on Tuesday, so at least that nightmare appears to be over--

I hope.

Sheesh!

Whatever I try to do, and do the right way--such as having surgery on a medical problem or voting in the upcoming election--becomes a problem, and I really do not understand it at all.

That black cloud continues to swirl over and around me, and what is worse, is that it is doing the same thing around my family.

What did I ever do to anyone or any thing to cause these continued problems?

I haven't a clue.

But hopefully, a successful surgery will be the do all and end all of this nightmarish 2026.

I simply cannot wait for this calendar year to end, and end on a good note.

Wish me luck tomorrow.

Based on everything I have been going through, I am going to need it.

When will I speak to you next here at the Blog?

I haven't a clue.

Rant #4,028: It's All Over Now, Baby Blue

That was the headline that I wrote on October 11, 2019, right here at the Blog, and it spoke volumes, at least for me.

One day earlier, on October 10, 2019, my employer finally went out of business, after several years of struggles.

This period of the year continued to be a bad one for myself and for the world, as about four years later, on October 7, 2023, Hamas terrorists rampaged Israel, killing innocent people and taking several hundred others hostage.

These two things obviously hit me on a personal level--one directly, the other indirectly--and things have simply never been the same for my family and I since this horrible period erupted.

As for my place of employment, personally, I knew that this day was coming, because the business I was employed by for more than 23 years was teetering for probably at least the last five years of its existence after more than 60 years in business.

I tried to get out, but I never could, and my premonition that this was the final full-time job that I ever would have came true, and this was not helped by the fact that the pandemic soon followed, and I was looking for work during the worst period to do so in our world's history.

Everything that soon followed added to my downfall, including my parents' passings and numerous health concerns, the former of which I have dealt with as best I can and the latter of which haunts me to this day.

To say that nothing has gone right for myself and my family during the past seven years would be an understatement ...

And that thought dovetails into a discussion about October 7, which happened in a far-away land but seems to have shaped our nation and world's consciousness--and problems--since then.

Even though thousands were raped, tortured and slaughtered simply for being Israeli and Jewish--and yes, others of different nationalities also went through this, but the majority were Israeli and Jewish--the world did not jump on the terrorists for their rancid actions, seemingly applauding these actions rather than punishing them for these heinous, sub-human atrocities.

On top of that, the underlying anti-Semitism that has pervaded the world for centuries came to the forefront once again, with social media seemingly normalizing this anti-human behavior.

Jews the world over have been attacked simply for being Jews, Israel has once again been questioned for the absurd "right to exist" question, and we have TikTok followers the world over spewing their anti-Semitic, anti-Jew, and anti-Israel hatred all over the place--

Online, in our streets, and anywhere and everywhere others may hear them.

We have even democratically voted into office people who spew this nonsensical rhetoric, including the leader of the most important city in the world.

Yes, that impacts my family and I, because if you didn't know it already ...

We are Jewish.

The other day, I reported a Facebook poster for putting up one of the most heinous and totally absurd images I can ever remember, as in response to a message I posted, he put up an image of a Jewish star intertwined with a Nazi swastika. 

I reported it to Facebook, and on Friday, I got word that Facebook allowed such an image to be posted. No explanation, other than it somehow did not abridge any of their rules.

About the only thing I could do was again ask Facebook to take this image down, but if it didn't abridge any rules the first time, I doubt it will change their minds a second time or any time.

This is the way social media is today ...

A horrid symbol like this is normalized, because anti-Semitism is the norm, and acceptable, in the warped world we live in.

But remember, the swastika symbolizes Nazi Germany, and Hitler and his minions took out most of their atrocities on Jews, but it also sought to remove and disparage others from the face of the planet, including blacks, gays, and others who did not follow their warped way of thinking.

So if you think you are immune to all of this because you aren't Jewish, think again.

Believe me, I am not likening my status after I became unemployed to what is happening in the Middle East, but they are both deplorable situations, without a current remedy.

At age 69 going on 70, I don't believe things are going to change for me anytime soon. Yes, I do have a remote job--which came as a godsend, just as my application for early Social Security was approved--but I am, personally, worse off than I ever was, mentally, emotionally, monetarily and physically.

And three years after Hamas attacked Israel, little has changed, there is a war going on there without end, and what is worse, most of the world doesn't care about Israel and its existence and its humanity, they only seem to care about the terrorist Palestinians and their plight, which they reaped themselves by their allegiance with terrorists.

So, if you want to sum it all up, the term is really "nothing has changed," because it hasn't, whether for my family and I, personally, or with the resurgence of anti-Semitism around the world, something that has been going on for thousands of years.

"Nothing has changed" ...

You really think that things would change, and get better, over a period of time, but they haven't.

Who is to blame?

I am afraid that the answer is ...

ALL OF US.

Have a good weekend and I will speak to you again on Monday, the day before I have my surgery ...

And after that, who knows?

Rant #4,027: (LUV) Let Us Vote

As I prepare for my eye operation, I have to take care of some other things that tie into this procedure.

For instance, I have to put my daily newspaper delivery account on hold for several days, because, obviously, I am not going to be able to read the newspaper for a while after the surgery.

It will be a bit too strenuous on my healing eye, so it is better to hold off on the daily delivery.

And then, we have the elections, coming up on Tuesday, November 3.

By then, I hope that my eye is much better, but there is no way I can get to my polling place to cast my vote.

During the past three years, with all my injuries and surgeries, it has simply been a lot easier to mail in my ballot, and that is exactly what I, and my family, have done.

So once again, looking to the near future, I applied for a mail-in ballot, and we received our ballots in the mail this past weekend.

In spite of what President Trump says, I do feel that these ballots are a valid way to vote for the candidates of your choice, and with the President actually voting this way in the past, I don't know what all of his bluster against mail-in balloting is all about.

(I actually do know ... it has to do with his lost election a few years back, with his seeking to latch onto ANYTHING to try to justify his belief that the election was stolen fro him.)

So, we received our ballots, and I have already filled it out and put it in the mailbox, as did my wife with her mail-in ballot.

My son will do the same this week.

I did not vote for a single candidate from the Nazi ... err ... anti-Semitic ... err ...Democratic Party for obvious reasons, nor did I vote for anyone on the Republican line.

I cannot, and will not, vote for a party that has gone so against the grain during the past couple of years, the party of Mamdani, Sanders, Omar, OSC and the rest of the radicals that are trying to take over our country.

As for the Republicans, sorry, you are not nearly as bad as the so-called Democrats are, but the party puts a lot of doubts in my head.

Quite frankly, both of them stink, with one of them just so much stinkier than the other.

I did not write-in a candidate this time around.

Who did I vote for if I did not vote Republican or Democrat?

I voted for those on the secondary, third-party lines, who are generally Republicans and Democrats who are also on the conservative, liberal and fourth-party lines.

So, voting in the New York election, I obviously voted Conservative pretty much all the way through.

I have to hope for a miracle with Bruce Blakeman, the Republican/Conservative and Affordable party candidate, who is running against Kathy Hochul, the Democrat.Liberal candidate, and the incumbent. 

As I have spoken about many, many times here at the Blog, New York voters, as a whole, are among the most ignorant and dumbest voters on the face of the planet. 

They will vote Democrat no matter what. 

This time around, if you do that, I truly believe it is a vote for the current version of the Nazi Party. 

Independent voters like myself must lead the way and do the right thing. 

Hochul is an embarrassment. Her alignment with New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani speaks volumes. 

And to my Jewish brethren, use your brains this time around. Hold your nose if you must, but ask yourself ... would you knowingly vote for Hitler? That is what voting Democrat is in today's world.

Go against your usual thinking for once.

The Democrats are not the party of JFK anymore,

Hollywood-ite Debra Messing, one of the few Jews in Tinsel Town who has said anything about what is happening in the Middle East--and what is happening right here at home, listened to her heart, her mind, and her conscious, and this life-long Democrat has endorsed Blakeman for governor.

And she did it for the reasons that I stated earlier ... any vote for a Democrat, in particular Hochul, is an anti-Semitic, anti-Jew and anti-Israel vote.

If she can do it, others can too.

Just because you are registered to a party doesn't mean you can't cross over party lines to vote for the man or woman you feel would be the best choice for a particular position.

So do it this time, and any time you feel the need to do so.

Those are just my thoughts. 

I imagine that plenty of people will take me to task at what I say and believe in, and that is their right to do so.

But I wouldn't vote for Hitler, so I wouldn't vote for the likes of a party that is leaning that way.

Use your heads.

That might be a very difficult thing to do--as you have voted Democrat since Day One, your parents voted that way, and your grandparents did too.

But I feel that based on what is happening in the Democratic Party and in the world today, it is high time to break the chain and vote for those who will do the best to preserve "the American Way" as much as possible.

All parties stink today, but one simply stinks much less than the other.

Use your brain, use your head, use your common sense.

But the real bottom line is--

VOTE!

To not participate in this way to get your voice heard is both lazy and not living up to your responsibilities as a citizen of this country.

I, honestly, do not care who my wife and son vote for.

I literally tell them to vote, and that is that.

We do it on a mail-in ballot, you might do it right at the polling place.

Whatever the case ...

VOTE!

Rant #4,026: Dreamer

Nothing new to report on any front related to my health and my upcoming eye surgery.

I vowed to myself to do my normal things during the period leading up to the surgery, and I have done just that.

I even dropped off and picked up my son from work, and that included some driving at night, which was concerning, but turned out fine.

This week I will continue to "normalcy" before my big day on October 13--thank goodness it is not Friday the 13th--by being as busy as a bee, maybe more so.

I have a ton of things to do today--including pickup up various medicines for myself, such as the one I will use for my colonoscopy in late December--and during the rest of the week, I have a pre-op visit, I have another visit with my urologist to discuss that situation, and I have several other things to attend to, including work.

I guess it is good that I am so busy, because it, at least temporarily, takes my mind off of my upcoming surgery.

My goal for the post-op is to get better as quickly as I can, because I do not want to miss my daughter's wedding on October 31.

Yes, it is right on Halloween, and whatever feelings I have expressed about this event, and my daughter, really doesn't matter that much given the situation at hand--

And I really want to attend her wedding.

It is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me, and I do not want to miss it.

That, of course, will be up to my body and my doctor, but I absolutely want to be there, in person, to see her get hitched.

I don't know the groom at all--I met him three times, under very trying circumstances--and I just wish that he treats my daughter with the respect that she deserves, and that they have a long marriage.

Me, who am I?

I am just the father of the bride, but I am being treated like any other guest there, with no special honors or anything signifying that I am the father of the woman who is at the center of attention that day--

That is my daughter's choice, I do not understand it at all, but heck, I just want to be there to see it all happen.

Is that too much to ask?

I don't know ...

It might be.

But at least if I am there, I will have achieved my goal ...

Not just to be there, but my health goal, which is to be healthy as calendar year 2026 approaches its merciful end.

I will continue to be in and out of my perch here at the Rant during the coming days and weeks, and hopefully, I will have better and nicer things to talk about while I am here.

So while I won't be doing a daily Rant for the foreseeable future, I will be providing content here and there.

That is just how it has to be as I lead into the surgery, finally get the work that I need getting done to repair my eye, and move onto the post-op experience, which I have been led to believe is not pretty, at least initially.

But the goal is to be at my daughter's wedding, and that is the carrot in front of my face--and eye--right now, something that I can hopefully achieve.

Good luck to me--

I am going to need it.

Now, let me take a step back from the Blog, vote on my official mail-in ballot that I received in my mailbox this weekend while I can still see it fairly clearly ...

And I will speak to you again--

Soon, I hope.

Rant #4,025: Keep On Pushing

As the week comes to a close, I have absolutely nothing else to report on my condition ... 

Which, perhaps, is a godsend, because I have been through a lot.

Too much, if you ask me.

I drove for the first time in more than a week yesterday, because I had to go to my allergy doctor for my monthly shots.

It was good getting into the car, but I am far from 100 percent, and probably won't be until I get the eye operation and go through the post-op situation.

Look, I have been treated poorly by the medical establishment, and I know that I am not alone, based on what I have heard from others.

Why this happens--and why it has become endemic--is beyond my comprehension, but like I said, I am not going to pull a "Mangione" about it--

I am just going to put my faith in my latest doctor to do the job.

There really is nothing more than I can say about it, other than I hope I am heathy enough to go to my daughter's wedding at the end of October.

It would be a shame if I could not be there on her special day.

I have said all I am going to have to say about this situation, at least right now.

I want to move on to something else, something a bit sad, but having nothing to do with me.

A neighborhood presence passed away the other day, and I just want to make note of it.

Living in Massapequa for more than 50 years, there are people that you meet, people that you get to know, and people who are an enigma.

The person I am going to speak about was an enigma, somebody who I did not know personally, but he made his mark on Massapequa and everyone that has lived there over the past half century.

His name was Don. I did not know his last name, but I first encountered him in high school.

He was a senior, I was new to the area and a freshman, and I passed him in the hallway of Massapequa High School several times, and, well, I just found him to be a little ...

Weird, for the lack of a better expression.

We never spoke, never had a conversation, and yes, I know you cannot judge a book by its cover, but I did with this guy.

We went our separate ways--me going on to college, grad school, marriage (twice), kids, etc.--but Don went on to other things too.

He became a real neighborhood presence, as he became "the guy with the shopping cart," walking through Massapequa collecting cans and bottles to add to his cart, which he pushed from one end of the area to the other, no matter what the weather.

Was this guy homeless, was he disturbed, what was his situation?

I have no idea, no idea to this moment, but he was "the guy with the shopping cart" for literally decades.

I had heard many stories about him and his life during those decades, and I don't know if any of them were true or not, but there were a lot of stories about him and his plight.

My father even gave him a few dollars when he used to see him in fast food places in Massapequa, and on occasion, I would give him a bag of bottles and cans to redeem.

But he plowed on, pushing his shopping cart for decades ...

And while he was doing that, everyone in Massapequa knew of him, as "the guy with the shopping cart," who would push that cart during 100-degree days and zero-degree days too, through snow, rain, and yes, Hurricane Sandy.

One of his frequent stops was the record store I regularly go to, and he was quite the character, with everyone in the record store very fond of him and bewildered with him, at the very same time.

And he continued to push that cart all over town, day after day, year after year, decade after decade.

I had heard that he was not physically well the past few years, but you would still see him pushing that cart, and I still saw him regularly pushing that cart around Massapequa when my family and I moved to nearby Farmingdale.

He was an enigma. He was a presence. He was a neighborhood fixture in his own way.

The other day, through Facebook, I heard that he passed away. A wake was held in his honor, and if I was well, I would have been there.

So Don is gone.

There will be no more pushing of his cart in Massapequa, but perhaps he is pushing that cart in a better place now.

R.I.P. Don.

In a funny way, he made his mark in the world, and it all was because he was "the guy with the shopping cart."

He made his mark by pushing that cart, and it tells us that we all must keep on pushing, whether it is a shopping cart or simply through life, and its ups and downs and all arounds.

"Keep on Pushing."

Have a great weekend, and I will speak to you again when I am up to it.

Rant #4,024: Honesty

I am seemingly in some type of black pit, not of my own making, but I am there, and I simply cannot get out.

The medical establishment that we, as a society, have to deal with is broken, and while I won't be doing a "Mangione" on this situation, I am the perfect example of why the current system doesn't work.

Yes, it has to do with Obamacare from several years ago, and also the ultra-reliance on the Internet to do everything related to health care.

You mix those two things together, and you get a powder keg of problems ready to explode, and right now, it has exploded into my face, and mainly at my right eye.

And if you have Medicare, and probably with Medicaid too, you are sunk, like you are wearing cement boots.

Doctors do not want to deal with Medicare for one reason or another, but for people like me, who have only Medicare and no other health insurance, you are sunk.

I could count the ways, but let me describe to you the latest gaffe I have experienced related to this utter nonsense, stuff that I should not have to deal with, but stuff that has been thrown on my head to clear up all by myself.

Yes, it is time for--

More medical ineptness!

I was told that my medical insurance may not cover my upcoming operation, because it is a Medicare PPO. 

Even if it is under a well-known insurance company, Medicare is garbage, so the necessary surgery might come under some financial scrutiny that it wouldn't go under if it was not Medicare based.

I only found this out because I went through the Internet-mandatory check-in, and it only listed my insurance company name without the "Medicare" attached.

Anyway, I was not happy to find this out, but the woman I spoke to over the phone related to the check-in sent me a financial aid form, which I quickly filled out, with income-related attachments, via email.

Everything seemed to be hunky-dory.

WRONG.

I received an email telling me that the financial department of the medical facility received the form and the attachments--

BUT IT WAS THE WRONG, OUTDATED FORM!!!

And to add to the mess, my place of work sent me a 1099 form for the work I did for them in 2025, but it did not have the year that it covered on the form!

Funny, the state and federal tax departments accepted the 1099 form as is, but the hospital financial department would not.

I called the financial office nearly in tears, and a woman there apologized, stating that she will alert the person who sent this to me that the wrong form was sent.

To make a longer story shorter, I had to provide further tax documentation of my income, had to fill out the new financial document, and hopefully now that it is correctly done, I will find out the result sometime soon.

But again, I am a victim of gross ineptness and incompetency.

THIS IS NOT THE WORLD I WAS BORN INTO, AND THIS IS NOT WHAT RETIREMENT IS SUPPOSED TO BE ALL ABOUT.

Sure, you can say I sound like a broken record, but what I am telling you is the God's honest truth.

If you don't have to go through this, consider yourself lucky, and I do mean, VERY lucky.

And I am sure that I am not alone in experiencing this.

Inept doctors, staffs and insurance companies are ruining the quality of life of so many people, including me, and there really isn't very much I can do about it.

I am a peon, a number, an entity that they can make money from, and that is pretty much it.

Well, I am not a peon, I am not a number, and I am not an entity that they can make money from.

And as long as I keep my head straight, which is becoming more difficult to do lately, I will survive.

But I should not have to deal with such ineptness, no way, no how.

I don't even know how to end this Rant entry, because I know that I am far from done in dealing with these entities.

But let's just end it by saying that ...

Honesty is the best policy, and if I can alert just one person to be prepared for this nonsense, I think I have done my job.

Speak to you soon.

(P.S.: After making many calls yesterday, I reported the doctor and her surgical coordinator to the medical group they work for, and again, I had to use the term "getting a lawyer" to have them move on my complaints.

Late in the afternoon, the doctor actually called me on the phone from her car, and she defended herself in every way, which, of course, demonstrates her guilt more than anything I could ever do.

I also later found out that the doctor never forwarded information about my case to the new doctor who is actually handling the surgery, and that is why the new doctor told my wife and I that he didn't know why we were there when we went to his office last week.

Getting back to my former doctor ...

To end this discussion, as she was driving in her car, she said that she would look into firing her surgical coordinator for not providing her with the proper information about me ...

And the doctor yelled at me on the phone, and I ended up hanging up on her after she said she would look into firing the surgical coordinator.

Sorry, I don't like to see people lose their jobs, but in this case, putting me in such a negative physical position, it was warranted.

I am a quiet, shy guy, but if you get me started, you are going to get it right between the eyes.

All I ask is that people open up their ears and listen to what I have to say.

If they don't, they are going to get it, and going to get it the right way.

Incompetence needs to be addressed, and the moral of the story is that if something is not right --

OPEN UP YOUR MOUTH AND TELL PEOPLE THAT WHAT IS HAPPENING ISN'T RIGHT!!!

Period.)

Rant #4,023: Shake Hands and Walk Away Cryin'

My newest eye operation appointment is October 13.

The first eye doctor who tried to perform the surgery completely failed me in every way imaginable, and now I have to wait a couple of weeks for the operation to, hopefully this time, be completed.

The surgery is one thing, the aftermath is another.

I am going to have to lay prone on my stomach for at least a week while the bubble inserted into my eye sets into place and begins the process of healing the eye.

I can get up for periodic breaks, like going to the bathroom, but for at least a week, and maybe more, I have to lay like this so the bubble can do its work.

And there are no guarantees that it will improve the situation.

And did I tell you that there is a problem with my health insurance related to this newest surgery? 

I have been trying to work it out using one and a quarter eye, but funny how people double-talk you even when it comes to a medical situation.

I even had to put in for financial aid related to the surgery, and there are no guarantees that I will get it.

Thanks, Medicare, for adding another brick to my already very heavy load.

And all of this is fermenting with my daughter's wedding come up on October 31, Halloween.

I really would like to attend my daughter's wedding.

It is going to be a different kind of wedding, one of complete and total narcissism, one where I am just another guest, even though I am the father of the bride.

I wanted to make a speech, but my daughter doesn't want me to.

I wanted to give her away, but my daughter doesn't want me to.

I wanted to have a father/daughter dance, but my daughter doesn't want me to.

She dares to be different--yes, the wedding has a Halloween theme--and while I do believe that my daughter is standing on ceremony to be oh so different, even though the wedding is on its face, a pretty traditional one, I have begrudgingly agreed to what she wants to do, because I really don't have a choice in the matter.

The worst thing about it is that I might not be able to attend anyway, and I blame that on the original doctor's complete and utter disregard for what I told her about myself and anesthesia.

I might be one in a million, but my malady is itself very rare, and she and her associates should have passed me off to someone else immediately when I told them what I did.

Instead, they started the process, found that I was correct in what I told them, and had to stop the surgery with only part of it completed.

If they would have immediately passed this on to a more competent doctor, I might not be in the situation I am in now, but again, it was just another day at the office for the doctor.

She even told me they do "hundreds" of these operations a day ...

But I guess that didn't include mine.

So now I am firmly stuck in a predicament not of my own making, and as usual, it has to do with complete and utter incompetence.

They will get what they deserve at a later date, but right now, I just have to do as well as I can with what I physically have at my disposal.

It is tough to go on the computer to type something like this Rant out, but I was already on the computer doing some work--I cannot stop that--so I figured I would kill two birds with one stone and type out a brand new Rant for you.

But who knows when I will be back here, probably intermittently leading up to the surgery, and then after the surgery ...

Who knows. 

I have to heal, physically, mentally and emotionally, but with everything dumped on me like it has been, it isn't going to be too easy.

So while I am upset, while I am a bit depressed, while I don't know where I stand right now or in the immediate future, I can tell you one thing:

I am not giving up hope, not at all.

There is gold at the end of my distorted rainbow, and I am going to make the best of whatever this circumstance leads to.

My family comes first, and without a good family, I could not believe in myself as much as I do.

I also can laugh at myself, and a good sense of humor does, in fact, help me deal with this inane situation.

But I will tell you another thing:

This cannot possibly be retirement, it just can't be what retirement is all about.

While others bask in the glow of finishing their careers, I can't do that.

If nothing else, this latest episode proves that, once and for all.

So don't even try to dispute what I have said since day one of this situation I am in:

Retirement, at least for me, is not retirement at all.

It is a dreadful purgatory.

Some people are born to suffer, and I am proving each and every day that I am one of those people.

I don't know why things are the way they are, but I will, somehow get through this--

And move on to the next phase of my dreadful purgatory of supposed retirement.

What else can I possibly do?

Is that all there is?

Is there something else on the other side of the door?

Maybe you can answer that, but right now ...

I have nothing else to say on this matter, other than--

"May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live."