Rant #4,037: One of Those Nights

Thank God in the heavens that this fiasco is O-V-E-R!!!!!!!

My daughter is married, the ceremony is over, the celebration is over, and I can move on to more important things in my life.

And yes, I use the word "fiasco" purposely ...

Because as far as I am concerned, that is exactly what it was.

There was a lot of bad karma with this affair, because my daughter absolutely refused to acknowledge me in any way, shape or form as the "father of the bride."

Nothing.

And it proved itself out at the reception, where I was simply a paying guest, and nothing more.

The whole thing started out poorly for us on Saturday--Halloween--as the GPS we used to supposedly direct us to the party site directed us to the wrong site.

We re-navigated--GPS is not always correct--and we still got there about an hour early, but I figured since we were there, we might as well go in, even if we were early.

No, not happening.

We were stopped at the gates by two Halloween dressed figures, who refused to let us in.

I told them I was the father of the bride, but they would not let us in.

Then, my daughter and her soon-to-be husband came out, and they again told us that we could not go in yet.

So we went back to the car, sat there for about 35 minutes, and then I told my wife that we were going in.

The door was locked, but I banged on the door enough that someone opened the door, and I reiterated that I was the father of the bride, and I was coming in.

Finally, they relented, and we came in from the cold early evening to a warmer place.

They had a table list of who was sitting where, and I saw what table we were at ...

But then, I also noticed that for further rubbing salt into the already open wound--

My first name was spelled wrong on the list.

L-A-W-R-E-N-C-E is my name, and they had it spelled L-A-W-E-R-E-N-C-E.

I saw my daughter's mother's husband, I questioned him about this, and he said it was just an oversight.

I felt that God was giving me a clear message that this was going to be one of those nights, one of those crazy old nights.

Finally, the festivities were ready to begin, and in 30-degree temperature, we were herded into the courtyard for an outdoor ceremony.

We were dressed for 50-60 degrees, not 30 degrees, so we begrudgingly went outside to view the ceremony, with our hoodies up over our heads.

The ceremony was officiated by some mail-order minister--a friend of my daughter, from what I understand--who thought he, himself, was funny.

His cleric's "costume" ...

One side of his outfit--which I presume was a Halloween outfit based on the wedding theme--was in full Jesus regalia, with a big cross on it like the Pope would wear.

The other side was the "Jewish" side, which was just so pathetic, as it appeared to be a talis and he wore long pais as part of his hair.

Yes, this was the marriage of a Jew and a non-Jew, but c'mon now ...

It was insulting to say the least.

But the best was yet to come.

My daughter came out looking like a street urchin from "The Little Rascals"/"Our Gang" movie series--kind of like "Butch"--and ...

The groom came out as ...

A bride!

Yes, he was wearing a bride outfit, and let me tell you, he is built like a whale, so it made him look like a whale ...

With a veil covering his face.

All the nuptials went on, the vows were read and agreed to, and finally it was time for the two to kiss.

The minister then said to my daughter, "It is now time for you to kiss ...

"Um ... the bride!"

The veil went up and the two kissed, to such laughter, that certainly was not coming from me.

I recorded the entire ceremony in total disbelief, and I sure it will be deleted in good time.

Was it a legally officiated marriage? Who knows, who really knows, but I have my doubts.

Is she legally married? To this moment, I really don't know.

Seems like a sham to me ... .

So that was over, and as frigid as we were, we finally were allowed to go inside the hall.

And when the appropriate times came where I could have had my dreams fulfilled--a call-out to me being the father of the bride, a father/daughter dance, etc.--my expectations were met with a resounding thud!

Nothing ...

Just like I expected.

But what you expect is made all the worse when the expectations come out to be true, and they were true as true could be.

Nothing.

(Also, I know that someone and his girlfriend left and went home because they were thoroughly insulted by the wedding ceremony and the seating placement, where they were not seated with us as they should have been.)

I even had to chastise my new son-in-law for not coming over to my table to introduce himself formally to our group, which included my family, my sister and her husband, and my friend and his wife.

What happened is that I had to go to the bathroom, and I passed him and my daughter in the hallway.

"You know, it would be nice if you came to my table," I said to him, with the new groom still dressed in his bridal gown.

"Well, there are a lot of people here, and I have a lot of places to go," he said to me.

"I am your new father-in-law, and since I am that, I am telling you to come to my table."

Yes, they finally did, but it was too little, too late.

I was greatly frustrated by everything that was going on around me, and I proceeded to introduce myself to as many tables as I could as "the actual father of the bride."

Some of the attendees clearly were not interested, but others congratulated me, and one even shook my hand.

Somewhere in between, I asked the husband of my ex if I could speak to him for a moment, and we went out into the hallway.

He is a really nice guy, a real mensch, to be honest with you, and I started to tell him about what I was feeling, and he pretty much agreed with me, saying he was more traditional like I was, but this is what my daughter wanted, so what could he do about it?

Although I just wanted to speak with him, a small crowd gathered around us, and I said a few times that his was a private conversation between myself and him, not everyone else. I didn't do it in a nasty way, but it was really a conversation between the two of us, not a whole crowd.

One woman who gathered around us grabbed her husband and said out loud, "I guess we are not wanted around here!" and stormed away from the group, and others left in a huff, even though the guy I was speaking to and I really had a nice conversation, even with everyone around us who were uninvited.

Some people were quite nice. In addition to my ex's husband, my former sister in law came right up to me, and we spoke for like 10 minutes, just catching up on things. I had not seen here in more than 30 years, and she is still quite a nice lady.

The groom's sister came up to me, too, and she was pleasant. She even forced me to dance with her.

My daughter's mother was cordial to me, and I was cordial to her.

Finally, the food came out, and then the cake, and once I finished my cake, we were outta there, for the long trek home, which I navigated pretty well, even in the pitch-black dark.

But I had not said goodbye to my daughter, so I went back into the venue looking for her. I found her, and she gave me nothing but a hug, no kiss, no saying "drive carefully," no nothing. 

And no, she never asked how I was doing physically. 

It was like I interrupted her.

And then we were on our way home.

We had on some of my favorite music, and I was in a talking mood, hopped up from the six of seven sodas I had which I used to keep myself awake.

I spoke about a variety of topics in the car with my son and wife, and one was about the prevailing attitude I was getting about my daughter's generation.

So many people at this affair told me that I can't be stubborn, this generation just does everything in a different way, and that I had to be accepting of it because that is the way it is.

I told my wife and son on the way home, "We Baby Boomers have just gone so soft. We are being told to accept ineptitude and stupidity. I am being asked to accept the fact that I was simply a 'paying guest' at my own daughter's wedding.

"Nope, I don't accept it. I know right from wrong, and their attitude was just so wrong."

And right now, I simply feel the exact same way.

But this affair, this nonsense, this marriage that I have my doubts about being 100-percent legal, is the affair that keeps on giving.

It took us about 90 minutes to get home, and when we arrived, I had to change the clocks, because we gained an hour of sleep over the weekend.

I did that as best I could, and went to sleep, woke up on Sunday, got dressed ...

And found that there was a big wad of gum stuck to my shoes, obviously spat out by one of the wedding attendees, because since this was a Halloween-themed affair, candy goody bags were given out, and you guessed it, gum was part of the bags' contents.

I couldn't even get the gum off my shoes entirely, but I did the best job I could.

It will stand as a constant reminder of Fright Night 2026, October 31, 2026, Halloween.

But it is over.

Thank God.

I wished my daughter well through a text, and who knows when I will see her again.

Six months, a year ...

Who knows.

After all, I was simply "a paying guest" at her wedding.

Believe me, if I decided not to go, no one would have missed me at all.

Even my daughter.

But heck, my daughter looked happy, so I hope she beats the odds, and this "marriage," or whatever you want to call it, works out for her and her husband.

Rant #4,036: I'm a Happy Guy

Tomorrow is the big day!

My daughter is getting married tomorrow, on Halloween, and I will be a very proud father--

I guess.

My daughter is running her wedding the way she wants to, and I will not be acknowledged at all as the father of the bride at the event.

Nothing.

No announcement about who I am, no father-daughter dance, no speech--

No nothing.

So even though I had a beautiful speech written and all ready to go, it isn't going to happen, as per my daughter's orders.

I could make a scene and read to guests anyway, but I don't want to do that.

So what to do with the speech that I am forbidden to read?

Include it here as part of today's Blog entry.

Why not?

You guys and gals won't be at the wedding, so by posting it, I am keeping, to the letter, what my daughter wants me not to do, which is to not make a speech.

It is her wedding, it is her right to do what she wants to do--

I am simply a paying guest.

I even said I would send her a copy of the speech to review, but she rejected that, so she has no idea what was to be said in the speech.

You guys will see it first--

And last, because it won't be used at the wedding at all, due to my daughter's edict.

So without further ado, here is my speech that I had planned to make at my daughter's wedding, but due to my daughter's wishes, won't be making.

"How the years have passed, so very, very quickly.

I remember when Meredith was born, she had the absolutely darkest head of black hair that I had ever seen.

Due to various circumstances, she was put into the hospital’s ICU. I went in to see her, and she was in the middle unit, between two boys who were each the size of your fist.

Meredith was full sized, and looking at the two boys, I said to myself that she was going to make it.

And she did—and then some.

We are here to celebrate Meredith’s marriage to Ed, and I have just so many memories going in and out of my head at this moment.

I remember her main thing with me was “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.” She just loved that show, and I bought her a large “Donatello” doll, which she brought with her every time I saw her—

Even when one of the legs fell off!

And we would talk about the Turtles endlessly, “Turtle” this, “Turtle” that, it was just so much fun!

Meredith also adored McDonald’s. I know, today she probably wouldn’t get within 100 yards of any of those restaurants, but back then, that was one of her things.

I took her to McDonald’s from Eastern Queens all the way to Eastern Long Island, and she loved it, and I loved taking her to these places.

In fact, one day, at the McDonald’s in Plainview, she got a piece of hamburger stuck in her throat, and I used the Heimlich Maneuver to get it out—

And it flew out like a bomb shot out of a cannon!

I remember her first day at school. I drove into Plainview to be there when she boarded the bus.

She looked so proud, so pretty, so happy to finally go to school like the big kids.

Through the years, Meredith got older, and yes, things changed a bit with our relationship, but my love for her never changed, in fact, it got stronger.

That all comes to today, a day when I am so proud of her as she enters holy matrimony.

And my love for her has never changed, in fact, it got stronger.

So let’s wish the newlyweds the best of the best, enormous happiness, and a long, long, fruitful marriage.

But as the father of the bride, I have to say that Meredith will always be my little girl, no matter what age she is.

And again, my love for her has never changed, in fact, it gets stronger by the year.

Good luck Meredith and Ed.

I wish you the best."

Have a great weekend, and I will speak to you again on Monday.

Rant #4,035: Try Too Hard

The countdown continues ...

Today, Friday and then, the big day on Saturday--

And then it will be all over.

I am looking at all of this as the father of the bride, and I have so many memories of my daughter that are running through my head as I write this up.

I remember the moment she was born, all the worry we had that she was sick, and the glee that I felt when I held her for the first time, and there was nothing wrong with her ...

She was absolutely PERFECT.

I was a dad for the first time, and I took the responsibility very seriously.

This little, beautiful imp needed my help, and I gave it to her, and gave it to her very proudly.

Things happened between myself and her mother, but I was there as much as I was permitted to be there, and I saw her as much as I possibly could, in spite of great interference by the other side.

I dealt with courts, schools and other institutions which decided that since I was the father--the man--that I was in the wrong as almost a birthright, and that I had to be on the defensive at all times.

Yes, things have changed now, but 30 some-odd years ago, that is what the overall situation was for divorced men with children, and even with joint custody, I was often the odd man out when it came to my daughter and just about every facet of her life.

I loved to see her, we had lots of fun doing so many different things, and during the days I did not see her, I had to call her on the phone, which certainly wasn't like it is today.

You know how people who have incontinence need to scout out places to make sure there is a bathroom nearby?

I had to scout out locations to make sure a phone booth or public phone was within reach.

My daughter grew up, she had her own friends and activities, and by the time she reached the teen years, she didn't want to be with me anymore, or at least to the extent that she wanted to be with me when she was younger.

I got it, I knew it was coming, but it still fell like a ton of bricks on me, and it hurt just as much.

So I didn't see her every other week, didn't speak to her on the phone that much, and by the time she got to college, that part of our relationship was pretty much over--

And it was never to be repaired.

Fast forward to today, and if I see my daughter once or twice a year, it is a lot, and it is on her side that this works out that way, not on mine.

I would love to at least speak to her on the phone maybe once a week, but it simply isn't happening.

As I have said before, I have no idea who her groom is, as I have met him a total of three times, under trying circumstances, like my mother's funeral.

We have invited the two of them over to the house, and now, to our apartment, on countless occasions, but they always seem to find an excuse to not come.

I always blame the whole thing on my daughter being "a child of divorce," but she isn't a child anymore, and I do think, at this point, that she should know better.

I love my daughter to pieces, but I don't know if she gets that.

What happened happened, and you can't harp on something that happened more than 30 years ago.

So I go to my daughter's wedding with both pride and trepidation.

Once bitten, twice shy ...

But you know that all these thoughts--and many others--will be swirling in my head when she and her beau say their "I do's."

"I don't" ...

Understand any of what has transpired over the past 30-plus years, but I am trying to understand ...

I really am.

And I wish my daughter and her soon-to-be husband the very best.

Rant #4,034: Love Is Like a Rock

Just to begin and try to get back to the normal workings of this Blog, we have two unfortunate passings to report.

The first is Walter Koenig, who played Chekhov in the "Star Trek" series, and whose character kept that show afloat when it was nearly canceled.

NBC was going to cancel the show due to poor ratings, but one of the network's suggestions to keep the show afloat was that a new character be created to gain younger teenybop fans, and they suggested a "Davy Jones"-type to fit that need.

Koenig was their man, and he became one of the most popular members of the cast, and is the answer to the trivia question, "Who were the three members of the 'Star Trek' cast who, in real life, were Jewish?"

Answer: William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, and yes, Walter Koenig.

The other death to report was that of Donnie Iris, a guy who never became a real big star in the realm of the rock and roll galaxy, but he was as near as you could possibly come without reaching that goal.

First, as a member of the Jaggerz, best known for "The Rapper"; then, as a member of Wild Cherry, best known for "Play That Funky Music White Boy"; and then on his own, when his music was all over the FM dial, with near hits "Ah Leah" and "Love Is Like a Rock."

The guy looked like Buddy Holly, was very proudly from Pittsburgh, Pa., and he rocked with the best of them during the early 1980s.

Koenig was 90 when he died on Sunday; Iris was 83 when he died on Monday.

Life goes on, I guess.

And the countdown continues to my daughter's marriage.

Step by step, inch by inch, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second.

I want to tell you that the setting will be a nice one ...

At a vineyard way out in Southhold on Long Island, and since it is fall, it promises to be pretty picturesque.

The setting is sure to be a nice one, but beyond that, I just really don't know.

I don't know if my daughter will be costumed as "The Bride of Frankenstein" and the groom will have on his "Frankenstein Monster" groove, but I will have on my "Father of the Bride" oufit, which I don't think will scare anyone off.

Most people there will be in costume of one sort or another, and while I won't be wearing my Sunday suit, I won't be wearing any type of Halloween costume.

Just a nice shirt, nice pants, shoes, and a big smile on my face, which I hope is not a take on the old "False Face" character on "Batman."

But my immediate family will be there, as well as a couple of friends, but you can bet that I won't know about 90 percent of the people there, and will never see them again after the wedding.

That is fine with me ...

And then you throw in my daughter's mother and her relatives, and you just know that while I will be cordial to them, I won't ever see them again either, which is fine with me, too.

So I just have to look at the whole thing as just maybe six hours out of my whole life, six hours of possible pain and torture, or maybe six hours of joy, and that is that.

Yes, I will get through it all ...

I simply don't like that I am being treated as just another guest at a wedding that is supposed to be so different, yet is so like any other traditional wedding.

This was not what I wanted for my daughter, but this is what she wants, and I guess that is the main thing.

I truly love her, so I have to go along with it.

And sometimes, be careful for what you wish for ...

Because you get exactly what you want--

And that isn't always a good thing.

(P.S.: And as I was writing this, I learned that Susan Saint James died at age 80. She was most famous for her roles in "McMillan and Wife" and "Kate and Allie," and I just remember her early days on the former show, with Rock Hudson, and how the show fizzled out when she left it in a salary dispute. And I also remember that she had really nice hair, whether she wore it long or short. Funny that I remember such things.)

Rant #4,033: It's Just the Same Old Song

To prove that things are getting back to normal ...

I began my week yesterday arguing with a medical provider.

What else is new--

One eye or two?

All it leads me to is further aggravation, as I try to work things out with an operator in the Philippines. 

It is just so ridiculous that the customer service stuff is farmed out overseas.

My hearing is fine, but half the time, I cannot understand a word that they are saying.

Shame on these doctors for farming out their services to people who cannot possibly help you.

I have a local question, about a local doctor, so this should be taken care of locally.

Is that too much to ask?

Apparently it is.

All that it leads to is that I am one day closer to attending my daughter's wedding.

Yes, the countdown has begun. 

At least we will have something to do on Halloween.

Even when we were living in the house, in recent years, we never got anybody coming to trick or treat.

We would have candy, but no takers.

Now, living in a retirement development, we have absolutely nobody coming to us on Halloween.

This year, the development is actually having a Halloween party, but, of course, we will be occupied that day--

With another Halloween party way out east on Long Island.

Tricks?

The wedding is supposed to be so different, but it is actually the same-old, same-old in different costume, so to speak.

Treats?

I don't know yet, I really don't know yet.

Boo on me.

And based on all of that, I will have plenty to report on about the wedding, but you will have to wait until next week for me to post anything.

Maybe I will be surprised, and it will be something memorable, in a good way.

Maybe I will not be surprised in the least, and it is what I think it is going to be.

Maybe I am simply spooked about this whole thing.

It is probably a mix of all of those things.

I don't know her future husband--I met him three times, yes, a total of three times, and each one under trying circumstances, including right after my leg surgery, when I couldn't move out of the bed, when I had to beg my daughter to see me, and during my mother's funeral--so I just hope my daughter has picked the right person to live out her life with.

I haven't met the groom's family--I believe he has a sister, but the mother is deceased and the father has some severe mental problems--so I am as much in the blind about this--no pun intended--as I can be.

And then, the Halloween-themed wedding is just so macabre to begin with, and I still think it makes a mockery of what marriage is supposed to be all about, cheapening it to a childish theme.

Yes, on Halloween, it is really going to be scary for me.

But at least I have a couple of days to breathe before the big day on Saturday.

Breathe ... breathe ... breathe ...

And count to 10.

Slowly.

So I don't blow my gasket just yet.

Rant #4,032: Think It Over

I am back!

Hopefully, I don't have to miss any more time here.

This is a tremendous week for me.

As I get more and more acclimated to my situation, I can do more and more things.

And the main thing that I am going to do this week is attend my daughter's wedding--

On Halloween, naturally.

What other day could it be on, based on my recent past?

And yes, it is themed for the day.

I don't buy into that, as I think it makes a Mockingbird Heights ... err ... mockery of what a wedding is supposed to be, but I will be there in costume--

In my father-of-the-bride costume, even though I am not being acknowledged at all with this supposedly proud designation.

That is how my daughter wants it, and yes, her thinking is foolish, but what can I do about it?

I just hope that she one day sees the folly of her ways.

And yes, this ties into my current malady, which will probably never go away.

When I was being prepped for the surgery, I started to talk to one of the nurses about the wedding.

This 40-something nurse told me that she, too, would not allow her father to make a speech during her own wedding 11 years ago--

And she regrets it to this day.

She wishes her father could have had his moment, but it is all water under the bridge now.

I do think that my daughter will one day feel the same way about the entirety of this occasion, where parents are supposed to shine as much as the newlyweds.

But who knows, and it is something that clearly bothers me, but I have more important things to deal with, to be honest with you.

I have been driving, have been on the computer, have been trying to get back to as normal a life as possible.

I have heard from people near and far--even from Europe--about what I have, and these people who have a similar malady have shared their insights into what ails them and now, what ails me.

To a person, they said to stay the same, don't change being who you are, and I am trying to follow that policy.

At age 69 and nearly a half, I am not going to change, no matter what my actual vision is.

My overall vision of enjoying life as much as I can still remains intact, and it is never going to change, no matter how low or how high I am.

My family needs me, so that is the fuel that keeps this engine running ...

And the fact of the matter is that I feel fine otherwise, so at least I have my overall health to keep me going for, hopefully, many years after 2026, which has been, without a doubt, the worst year of my life, even before this malady overtook me.

Looking beyond today and the wedding, November is another interesting month, as we will be celebrating my wife's xxth birthday--a big one--and later on in the month, we have Thanksgiving.

Then in December, as everyone prepares to celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas and New Year's Eve, I will have the pleasure of preparing for my New Year's Eve Day colonoscopy, which I hope does not become an annual event like Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, and Christmas.

But you gotta do what you gotta do, and, at least, my New Year's Eve evening will be OK and hopefully, healthy, as we slide into 2027.

But let's not put the cart before the horse.

Let me get through this wedding of weddings, and then I can keep on pushing, keep on trucking, keep on keeping on.

It is the only way to fly.

Rant #4,031: Bits and Pieces (Part 2)

I am back!

I feel like I have to be back to relay to you that things did not work out like I might have wanted them to work out related to my eye--

But things could always be worse.

Again, this is going to be another version of "Bits and Pieces" that you might not be used to, as I am going to put up some messages that I originally posted on Facebook to define where I stand with my vision.

It took some time to grind this all through my mind, but my outlook on everything has changed a bit, and now, I am looking for positives from negatives ...

And yes, I am finding them.

So here goes--

And look how my outlook changed from my initial post to my latest post.

"I can drive during the day, I can go on the computer, but it appears that I have lost the sight in my right eye.

There are some other major surgeries that I could have, but my doctor recommends against them. 

The eye appeared to be too far gone for any further surgeries, other than taking out a cataract, so I will have to proceed with vision in one eye.

I have absolutely no luck at all. 

Retirement? What is that? Please explain this concept to me, because I have no idea what it is or what it means.

And if I sound like a broken record, so be it.

Sorry." 

Then, later on in the day--

"I am not going to let this hamper me in the least. 

Tomorrow, I will be driving to the pharmacy to pick up my new eye drops. 

I have work to do, i have to drive my son back and forth to work and other activities, and I have plenty of more years on earth to go about life. 

I will not let this stand in the way of anything. 

I might have to do things differently, but I will continue to be a content provider both for work and for pleasure. 

And I will see, albeit with one eye, my daughter get married. 

You have to make diamonds out of coal, and I will do that. 

Sure, I feel a bit sorry for myself, but what the doctor said pretty much confirms what I thought anyway. 

Mistakes were made by my previous eye doctors--RETINA SPECIALISTS, mind you--that might have contributed to this situation, but things could be way worse. 

Heck, I have a colonoscopy to look forward to on New Year's Eve Day on December 31!

I have a lot to look forward to, with one eye rather than two. 

"One" is the loneliest number, as the song says, but it won't derail me at all. 

I am still the same Larry that I was through my entire life. Why be something different now?"

I am simply not the type of person who will roll up in a ball in the fetal position and wither away.

I am going to enjoy life even more now, because now I know just how precious it can be and how part of it can be lost in an instant.

It won't make me a softie.

This entire situation will make me stronger ...

Because once you have "been there, done that," your experience will guide you in the right direction.

So while I took it easy the past few weeks, I should be back at my perch here starting on Monday, all ready to go, just like I have for the past 17-plus years.

Being able to articulate what I have to say through my writing is a godsend, and I am going to use it to the max to say what I want to say when I want to say it.

So look for me right here soon ...

I will probably take the rest of the week off and be here bright and early on Monday morning.

But you never know ...

If I have something to say, I might just be here earlier.

One eye or not, I still have two hands, 10 fingers, and a brain, and I am not going to put any of these things in storage--

UP, UP AND AWAY!