Rant #3,934: I'm Alive

Yes, I'm alive.

I got through my latest health procedure pretty well, although I still have to hear back from the doctor after my polyps--six of them--are fully analyzed.

On the surface, it appears that I might have dodged a bullet based on the doctor's own analysis, but I will await the final word on them before I kick up my body in glee.

And If everything is OK, it was one of the best birthday gifts that I could have ever given myself.

Yes, I had the procedure done on my birthday--

Not because I necessarily wanted it done that day, but because the doctor had no other open spots to do this procedure.

His office was closed during the Easter/Passover break--more for Passover, based on what he and his office told me--and they had a backlog of cases, so it just worked out that my birthday was my day.

I had my gall bladder taken out on my birthday 19 years before on my 50th birthday--that was an emergency surgery--so it is not totally foreign for me to celebrate the date of my birth by having medical procedures done on that date.

It all made my special day kind of weird, but my family helped me get through it, hopefully with flying colors.

I need another such procedure done in six months, but hopefully nothing further about that area in between.

And thanks to everyone for the birthday well wishes ...

Let me tell you, it helped--

And it helped a lot.

Funny things happen after i get anesthesia, when I come to and wake up from the it all..

Sometimes I sing, sometimes I say some gibberish, but on Tuesday, I do remember coming out of it, and thanking the medical staff that worked on me for their help in getting me through all of this.

I also looked at the two nurses who were there--both probably in their early 30s--and telling them, "You are two beautiful looking ladies."

But then I told my wife, who they had summoned in after the procedure to help me get dressed, "But you are the best looking lady here."

And I meant that one million percent.

(But yes, the two nurses were absolutely gorgeous.)

Anyway, after speaking with the doctor, my wife had to go up to the desk to make my next appointment there, so I sat in the waiting area, took out my phone, and went on Facebook--which should have been the furthest thing from my mind--and tried to type out the word "polyps."

I had six--count 'em--six of these things removed, and I guess I was happy with what the doctor said about them.

But for the life of me, I could not correctly type out the word "polyps" spelled correctly.

I think I first spelled it "pollips" or "polips" or some variation of that, but I could not spell it out correctly--

Until I fully came to, and I wondered how "polyps" became "pollips" or "polips" or whatever I wrote, and I corrected my spelling.

Kind of strange how the mind works, especially when you aren't fully out of your anesthesia-induced slumber.

But whatever the case, I got through it, and hopefully, I can move on to the next procedure.

May is going to be a very busy month for me, with numerous doctors' appointments on a variety of my ailments throughout the month.

I am not looking forward to any of this, but at least none are on a birthday or a special day for me--

Except one of them.

I don't have any procedures scheduled for May 9 or May 22, which are the anniversaries of my bar mitzvah and my bar mitzvah reception, respectively--I can't believe it is going to be 56 years for both--but I do have a major procedure scheduled--

For May 15, the day I became a father for the first time, when my daughter was born 38 years ago in 1988.

I guess that once again, I will celebrate the occasion with, hopefully, good health--

And I will be able to wish her "happy birthday" maybe with some pain, but with a smile on my face for getting through another hurdle towards good health.

Let's all hope for that.

But for now, let me just relax a little bit.

I think I have earned that, even with the knowledge that the medical merry-go-round continues to turn for me.

Like they said in "The Jetsons"--

"Jane, get me off this crazy thing!"

Please!

Rant #3,933: Who's On First

I have a bit of a difficult period coming up next week.

I have to have another procedure done, and it will pretty much knock me out for at least the first two days of next week.

So next week, I might have to take a "bye" from this blog ... 

We will have to see how things go and if I am up to anything early in the week and for its duration.

I believe that this procedure will pretty much tell me where I stand with my health, so it is a very important one to have.

Onto other things ...

Now that my son has a new doctor, we had a telephone/video appointment with this physician, which happened yesterday afternoon.

And as usual when something involves me, this supposedly simple task did not go smoothly.

First of all, I tried to connect with my laptop, and it simply would not connect.

I tried my phone, and happily, it connected right away.

Everything went well, and the doctor wanted me to make a followup appointment with him, and to send over my son's recently completed psychological assessment.

As the call ended, I said to the doctor that I would assume that my son, at one point, would have to meet with him in person, and the doctor told me--

"That is highly unlikely, because I am in New Jersey."

Funny, the office I went through to get the appointment is near where I used to work--in my own "garden," so to speak--but we now have a doctor handling my son's affairs who is based in the Garden State.

OK, I guess that is how things are handled today ... not to my liking, but like I said yesterday, I am an old fogey, and after three hours of calls, this was the best we could get.

Anyway, I then tried to call this place nearby, because I wanted to make an appointment and I wanted to find out how to send over the report the doctor wanted--

And the doctor, himself, gave me the phone number to call to do all of this.

Little did I know that this would lead to a solid hour of calling, going online, and getting very little done until the end of that hour.

I called the phone number, got put on hold for several minutes, and then was told--

"No one here can answer your call"--

CLICK!

Befuddled--but again, I think someone up there is testing me--I called another number that I had for this place, and again--

"No one here can answer your call"--

CLICK!

I started to yell and scream, but I figured that perhaps I could get this all done if I went to the patient portal that they provided--

And on which we had to fill out countless forms before meeting with the doctor.

I first went to the "Appointments" tab, and tried to get an appointment as close to a month away from yesterday as possible.

I clicked on a date, and it simply would not take.

I did it again, and it simply would not take.

I could not figure out what the problem was, but I was determined to make the appointment, so I tried again--

And again--

And again--

And I don't know how, but it finally took, and we have our May appointment with the doctor--

On the same day that in the morning, I have to go back to the plastic surgeon to see if the cancerous lesion I had taken off my scalp several weeks ago has healed like it was supposed to.

(Yes, with all the other health difficulties I have, that incident with the staples in my scalp feels like an afterthought, something that took place decades ago rather than just a few weeks back.)

So now, I had to try to figure out how to transmit the form the doctor wanted, and I went to different areas on the patient portal, but to no avail.

I went to one of the emails that we were sent from this place, and lo and behold, one said that if I had any questions, I could send an email to one of the addresses on the email--

I wrote up the email, voiced my chagrin at what had been going on, and sent the email off with the attachment that the doctor wanted.

I also went back to the patient portal, sent a message to them to alert them that I had sent the attachment to them through email, but I could not include the attachment to that message, so it was basically an alert that I had sent this to them and that they should look for it in the email and forward it to the doctor.

I figured for fun, I would call the office again, because I wanted to make sure that they received the attachment--

And incredibly, I got someone on the line this time!

I told the operator that as a new patient, I was not happy with the process, but I also told the operator that I had emailed the attachment to the office, and he gave me their text number--

And I texted the attachment over as well.

(And, by the way, the operator told me they were having "technical difficulties," and I replied that is not a valid excuse, especially for a new customer to go through all of this. He agreed with me.)

So anyway, I did get a message back on the portal that they received the attachment through email, and I replied to make sure that the doctor received it--

And reiterated that I was not too happy with the service.

Well, I thought I was done, and then I received another email, stating that since I had met with the doctor, they wanted me to give them a review of their service.

I thought the doctor did a good job, but the service ...

So I tried to put down my thoughts, and I got a message--

Stating that my review could not be accepted.

I don't know why, and quite frankly, I don't give a darn.

"Oh, that's our shortstop!"

I don't know about "Who's On First," but I do know that I can't win for losing lately, and if God is testing me, I hope that I am passing the test--

And that leads me to the rest of this message ...

Monday and Tuesday of next week are going to be washouts, as my health takes precedence.

I honestly don't know if I will be at the Blog either day, or even for the rest of next week.

So it is going to be like a vacation week for me, or at least a vacation from the Blog.

I could put up a photo of a pretty girl in a bikini to signify a "vacation" like I normally do when I go on a brief respite, but I don't think that would be appropriate.

So as sort of a middle ground, I put up what I thought was an appropriate photo at the top of this entry.

I guess you could call it, "Gorilla My Dreams."

Quite appropriate, I would say. 

So please wish me well, I know that I am going to need all your good wishes, and then some.

Have a great weekend, and I will speak to you again on--

"Who's on first, I don't know's on second ... "

Rant #3,932: When I Grow Up To Be a Man

I just heard from an old friend, who wished me well with the procedure I will be going through early next week.

It made me feel really good, and I was happy to hear that he was doing pretty well himself.

Goodness, and to think that when we were kids, the furthest thing from our minds was our health--

And getting older.

We looked at people who were our age now as "old fogeys," and never realized that if we were lucky, we would one day be the current version of those "old fogeys."

As I have said in the past, I don't feel old, just older--

Although the past several months have made me feel that yes, I am old.

But when I read stories about people who live past 100 years of age, I have to take a step back.

Am I really old?

No, I don't think I am.

And those people who reach past 100 aren't either, because it is their mindset that is admirable.

They don't feel old even past the century mark, so why should I?

I should be embarrassed to even think that I am old.

I haven't even reached 70 years of age yet--

How can I be old?

But onto other things ...

And yes, I have to talk about someone who just died, someone who was not a major star but who might have touched us all by her performances on TV and in the movies.

Joy Harmon passed away the other day at age 85.

If you don't know the name, you certainly knew her look.

She was in countless movies and TV shows into the early 1970s, and boy, did she have the look.

The blond, saucer-eyed actress--who was sort of that period of time's version of Sydney Sweeney--appeared in numerous TV shows including "The Monkees," "The Beverly Hillbillies," "My Three Sons," "The Odd Couple," and countless other sitcoms, but her "bust out" role was in a.Paul Newman film.

"Cool Hand Luke" featured one of those Hollywood scenes that you never forget. Newman, in jail with his fellow prisoners, was on a work gang, and encountered Harmon's "Lucille," wearing the tightest outfit that Hollywood would then allow, out before them on the road.

These women-starved men were then subject to one of the absolutely sexiest scenes ever put on celluloid, as she washed her car as they ogled and watched, with as much water and soap caressing her voluptuous figure as was going on the car.

It was an incredible scene, not just for the convicts to see, but for the movie audience as well.

She was never a star, pretty much used as eye candy in whatever role she had, and I think she probably knew that.

Her real passion was baking, believe it or not.

She tried out her recipes while still acting, and when the acting roles dried up and she knew that that part of her life was over, she became quite a famous baker, opening Aunt Joy's Cakes in Burbank, Calif., a popular spot for all baked goods, where she worked for the rest of her life.

Again, Harmon was a name most people didn't know, but when you saw her on the big screen or on TV, she was someone that you never forgot.

R.I.P., Joy, you done good.

Rant #3,931: Peace of Mind

I bought a container to put those extra LPs in, and I also bought two storage bins for my next project--

One that will, undoubtedly, take me a bit of time to complete.

I am using the two storage bins, as a start, to put all of my and my wife's CDs together, in alphabetical order.

This is going to be a job for the ages, since we have probably around 1,000 CDs in our combined collection.

I figured out that using these units--the same type which I already keep my 45s in--allows me to keep a total of 56 CDs in each drawer--two rows of 28 each--or 168 CDs per three-draw unit.

Having two units to hold these, I now can put away 336 CDs of normal size.

Box sets and other different-sized CD holders will have to go somewhere else.

So, as I am sure you can figure oymut, if I can fit 168 CDs per unit, and I have just two units dedicated to thus crusade, I will need at least three more units to pack away all the normal- sized CDs.

I can't do it all in one sitting, because 1) it costs too much, and 2) with my health being what it is, i simply cannot do so much at a time.

I have a major procedure to get through next week, so i don't want to push things too much--

And after that procedure, I don't kniw how long it will take for me to recover.

So, I am going to do what I can now, and I will do the rest in the future.

I also did two stories for work, attended a work meeting, and had other things to do, so I actually made a major dent in this job I have created for myself.

It keeps me busy, and if I can do it now--

Why not?

My body might be falling apart at the seams, but my mind and determination remain strong.

Do I still hurt?

Have I recovered from Monday's LP cataclysm?

Will I finish this project before I am old(er) and gray(er)?

Stay tuned as I go along ...

Same Bat time, same Bat channel.

(And yes, if you were wondering, i do have a few "Batman"-related CDs to put in order as part of this project ...

And yes, I still hurt a bit.)

Rant #3,930: Hurt

I had another one of those days yesterday.

After doing some work, I received a call from the doctor's office where I set my son up for a telephone appointment for June.

The office called me, and said that they did not carry our insurance, so the appointment was canceled.

That led to a three-hour odyssey over the phone to try to find another physician for him.

Our insurance provider seemed to be useless, because the physician we had the appointment with was obtained through them, so obviously, their information about their own doctors is not up to date.

I called all around, left messages, and of the more than a dozen calls that were made--

Two got back to me, and we took the one that was most convenient for my family.

We now have a telephone appointment with a local doctor on Thursday morning... not two months from now.

And then the handyman came to fix my record shelves.

He finished the project just as I was finishing with my calls, and the job was done, at half the price that he originally quoted us 

With that job completed, it was my job to put everything back on the shelves--

Thousands and thousands of albums, which were all over the floor after the unit's collapse 

So I spent the better part of the afternoon putting all the records back where they belong ...

Or more to the point, almost all of them.

No matter how much I tried, there are 50 albums I could not fit into the repaired unit, although they were in there before the thing collapsed.

I guess that I might have left more air in the rows so that it wouldn't collapse again, probably doing it somewhat unwittingly.

Anyway, my back is killing me--I really pushed myself to do this--and i have those 50 LPs stacked in the corner, so it is now my job to find a receptacle for them.

I will be looking on Ebay and Amazon for something to put these records in.

So, with all I had to do yesterday, I am really hurting. As you know, I am not physically fit right now, and I pushed myself beyond the line of what I should not be doing.

What it all amounted to is for a day I thought would be relaxing leading up to my next medical procedure next week, it was anything but ...

But at least it wasn't for naught.

And yes, I still hurt all over!

Rant #3,929: Mirage

Saturday was perhaps one of the most bizarre, up and down days of my entire life.

I knew that it was going to be a crazy day, but not like it turned out to be.

At 9 a.m., my son had his scheduled telephone meeting with his doctor.

He has been "seeing" this particular doctor for the last 10 or 15 years, and this physician--an older man who has been practicing for decades--really helped my son with his mental difficulties,

We knew the day was coming that he would retire--the doctor is around 90, at my own estimation--but he told us, in very sullen tones that I could barely here--that with his own health woes, he would be retiring, effective immediately.

So with that, I had to start to look around for another doctor, on a Saturday morning.

I called our insurance provider, they gave me a list of doctors, and I began to call them, with the full knowledge that it was a Saturday, and none would be available.

It is hard enough finding a doctor, but finding a doctor under this specialty is even more difficult.

So I left a few messages, and it was time to take my son to his bowling league.

It was the first time I was present to see him bowl in a few weeks, and I have to tell you, it felt pretty good to be there--

Until I got inundated with phone calls, including from my son's retiring doctor, a relative, and from the office of one of the doctors that I had called earlier.

If you have ever been in a bowling alley, you know just how noisy it is, and I had to take the calls in the men's bathroom, which I have to tell you, was just as noisy as being on the lanes.

The call from the doctor's office was the most important of these calls--which came in rapid succession, one after the other--and I told the caller that I would contact them at about 2 pm., because I obviously could not talk to them at that point.

My son bowled, he bowled pretty well, as did his team, which regained its first-place standing, and the bowling finished early, as the other team had only one member present.

It was Record Store Day, so I figured that since we finished early, I could go to my local record store, with my son, and see what they had available.

So we trekked over there, spent about five minutes in the store, I made my purchases, and we left.

We went home, and I turned on the Yankees game, hoping for a relaxing afternoon--

But with the knowledge that I had to speak to the doctor's office that called me when we were in the bowling alley.

In the meantime, did I tell you that one of my record racks buckled the other day, dumping thousands of LPs all over the place?

Yes, it did just that, and we hired a handyman we have used in the past to fix it.

He came over in the middle of the afternoon, and did part of the job, with more to come.

So while he was doing his thing, I made my call to the doctor's office, they got back to me, and after about 90 minutes on the phone, we secured a first meeting between this doctor and my son, a telephone meeting in June, which was the best we could do.

So the game is on, with the sound turned off, the handyman is doing his thing, and I am talking with the doctor's office, where I was so involved that I had no idea what was even happening during the game, which the Yankees won, 13-4.

They hit three home runs in one inning, and I was so involved that I had no idea what was going on during that inning.

Finally, at about 4:30 p.m., with that concert I told you about last week coming up, my family and I decided to do something that we hadn't done in months, which was to actually eat out at a local restaurant.

We did that--I thought the meal was pretty good--and before you knew it, it was time to go to Westbury Music Fair to see Tommy James perform.

We arrived at the venue a little early, so we sat in the car for about a half hour, and then we finally went on line, saw friends who were also seeing the show, and planned to chill out for the next two hours or so.

Tommy James remains an excellent performer 40 years after his last hit.

We have seen him countless times over the years, and his show is pretty much both wonderful and predictable at the exact same time, never wavering very much from formula--play the hits, do some banter, and talk about his book about his time at mob-run Roulette Records being made into a movie.

This time, he didn't stray too much from this formula, slowing down the arrangements on his songs a bit, but the one revelation that came out of the whole 90-minutes-or-so concert was that this movie that he has been talking about for ages is now supposedly going to be a multi-part series on one of the streaming channels.

This was originally a Martin Scorcese project, but it has been up and down over the years, and now, it apparently is on again.

So the concert ended, and we drove home--

Ready to watch Wrestlemania with my son.

The problem was one we have had for months, that we cannot get the pay per view, even though we have paid for the service on ESPN through our Verizon subscription.

So for the umpteenth time, I called Verizon about this, and for the umpteenth time, the situation had not yet been resolved.

The problem was that I used my phone so much on Saturday that I didn't realize how much power it had left--very little--and I was disconnected from Verizon because the phone had no juice left.

Since my son and I were already up, and sleep was not in the offing right then, I decided to help him fully download a video game he had purchased, and which he had partially downloaded a couple of days ago.

It literally said that we had 19 minutes to go for the full download, which turned out to be the slowest 19 minutes on record--maybe like 40 minutes--and then, before you could play the game, you had to register at a site online before doing anything.

Finally, as frustrated as all hell with just about everything that happened on Saturday, we were able to go to sleep, probably around 12:30 a.m. or so, and when I woke up on Sunday at 7 a.m., I was just as frustrated as I was when I went to sleep.

The funny thing is that through it all, my stamina level was much better--

Not up to the level it normally is, but much better.

Waking up on Sunday morning, I felt a lot of get up and go, but through the morning, the level dropped a bit as the morning turned to the afternoon.

And yes, my son woke up a little early, and we called Verizon again about this problem we are having.

It was supposedly fixed, we were able to watch Wrestlemania after my son got home from work, but with one glitch--

The screen kept freezing, and needed to be constantly reset.

You can't have everything, I guess.

So Saturday was a strange mess, Sunday was time to relax... sort of.

I truly think that God is testing me through this entire business that I am going through, but honestly, I just wish that the test was over, and that I passed the audition, once and for all.

Rant #3,928: Crimson and Clover

Another week is coming to an end.

Another week of tests ...

And another week where I still don't know where I stand with my health.

I go from feeling OK to feeling lousy.

A lot of it is mental, but a lot of it is, I am sorry to say, physical. 

Next week appears to be a pretty "dry" week regarding further testing, as it appears that I have absolutely nothing on the docket--

Which is a good thing, because I am worn out from all of these tests, and I need a break.

But it is also a bad thing--

Because without the tests, I don't know where I stand with my health.

This all leads up to the following week, my birthday week, where right smack dab on the day of my birth, I have another major procedure to get done.

I am hoping that it is the best birthday present that I could ever give to myself.

We shall see.

Onto other things ...

Tomorrow is Record Store Day, where independent record stores feature a vast array of exclusive releases to those who attend.

For the second spring Record Store Day in a row, I am going to have to pass on being there, at least early in the morning when my local record store opens and the best merchandise is available.

I have too many things to do on Saturday, and honestly, I am not up to it right now.

Just to make sure that nothing on this RSD list is spiking my fancy, I looked at it again yesterday, and quite honestly, there is nothing on the list that I must have.

There are some interesting things, but nothing that will force me to get up at some ungodly hour and wait on a line to get into the store.

Now, that does not mean that I won't get to the store sometime during the weekend; it just means that I won't be there at the break of dawn to look through releases that I really don't want.

Saturday is a very busy day.

My son speaks to his doctor in a phone visit at 9 a.m.

My son then has his bowling league, and for the first time in a month, I have plans to be there and watch him and his team compete.

When that is over, there is a window for me to attend the event, and if I am up to it, I might just go and see what is available.

Later in the day into the evening, my family and I are attending a concert at Westbury Music Fair, a concert that was supposed to be held six months ago--when bad health was the furthest thing from my mind--and was postponed for one reason or another.

This will be a very good test of my mental and physical well being, and I am really looking forward to it.

The act we are seeing is Tommy James, who always puts on a great show, and I am hoping I can get through it unscathed.

It is also Wrestlemania weekend, so my son and I will be watching as much of that spectacle as possible, from the comfort of our living room couch.

So this Saturday, in particular, is going to be a real test for me.

Am I feeling better?

I guess I am, somewhat, but I still have some health problems, and that always is in the back of my mind.

I go up, down, all around on this question.

So this weekend is going to be a memorable one for me, one way or the other.

I really hope to get to RSD, and I hope that everyone gets to their local independent record store and supports that store as much as they can.

So with that all ahead of me, yes, I am looking forward to this weekend, and looking forward to it very positively.

I hope I can get through it.

Have a great weekend, and I will speak to you again on Monday.