Classic Rant #526 (June 15, 2011): Bunny Stop

In the world that we live in today, a momentous decision was made yesterday that is sure to change mankind forever.

When it came across the airwaves and the Internet, people literally stopped what they were doing. They had to so they could take it all in, and figure out how this decision will impact their lives.

What decision am I talking about?

The decision by Crystal Harris not to marry Playboy founder Hugh Hefner.

"The wedding is off," Hefner, 84, tweeted yesterday. "Crystal has had a change of heart."

Harris, 24, was set to marry Hefner on Saturday. It would have been her first marriage and his third.

Reports are that a heated weekend telephone argument between the two lovebirds led Harris to call the whole thing off, so if you bought anything for them, I guess you are going to have to return it.

Harris, on her website, also announced to the world that the marriage was off.

And it wasn't Hefner who was the one who was found to be not forward this time; Harris has been seeing Dr. Phil McGraw's son, Jordan McGraw.

Yes, and she had been seeing him all the while she was slated to marry Hefner.

That is one thing that Hefner cannot tolerate: a woman going behind his back for love.

Back in the 1950s, his first wife cheated on him, and he has said that this was one of the most, if not the most, devastating thing that ever happened to him.

As the story goes, to atone for her misdeed, the then Mrs. Hefner allowed her husband to cheat on her, and he did it multiple times, leading to the end of their marriage in the late 1950s.

Sure, Hefner has a double standard. He can do what he wants to do, but if a woman shows him up ... well, look out.

That might have been the case this time too, although Harris was the one who called off the wedding, further showing up Hefner.

It is probably better off.

Why a 24 year old would want to marry an 84 year old is beyond me.

And don't tell me it has nothing to do with money--you just know it does.

The guy is worth his weight in gold. All the girl has to do is be with him for X amount of years, and she stands to get plenty.

I am sure there was a prenuptial agreement, but believe me, she wouldn't be left out in the fog with that, either.

And you just know there will be another woman for Hefner. Even if it is a sham, he will have his choice of women who could be his daughter, granddaughter, or even great granddaughter.

I mean, they must find that sailor hat he wears at least a little sexy.

To many of us, Hefner looks more like a letch than ever, an old pervert who pinches women's bottoms because he thinks they like it.

I hear women ringing the bells of his mansion right now, lining up to be his next squeeze.

Who will it be?

Hopefully not my daughter.