Rant #2,433: Press

Today, the media is scrutinized for not only delivering us the news, but also fabricating their reporting. Thus, the term "fake news" is often used, and yes, there is something to it when the media puts their own slant on news stories where they should be just reporting the news in a straightforward way, without opinions thrown into the mix and reported as news.

That is not what I am going to talk about here, but at the present time, I am waging a personal war against the news, namely, the local Long Island Newsday.

In the general frame of things, this is not such an important story, but it hits close to home for me.

We get two newspapers delivered on a daily basis to my home, one Newsday for my parents--who live with us, or we with them, however you want to slice it--and one Newsday for my family.

We have had that arrangement for decades, and except for intermittent problems, like a newspaper not delivered from time to time--we really have not had any major problems with this arrangement we have had.

But lately, we are having some problems, and it has to do with our carrier, or carriers. We are not sure if it is more than one person delivering our newspaper, or just one.

But it is immaterial to the problem that we are having.

The delivery person absolutely refuses to double bag our newspaper, and for weeks on end, we were getting a soaking wet newspaper, as he also seems to find every puddle that there is and throws it right in the puddle.

Look, this just doesn't happen on rainy days. We have the sprinkler on two or three early mornings a week so our lawn looks nice, and thus, there is water strewn across our driveway, and the deliverer, again, finds every puddle that there is and throws the newspaper into it.

The water seeps into the newspaper because it is not double bagged as it should be, one bag into the other in reverse, to make a less penetratable package.

So a few weeks ago, after getting newspapers that looked like they took out morning shower with us, we complained, and asked Newsday if the deliverer could please double bag the newspapers.

Simple request, simple solution ... or so we thought.

For the past few weeks, the carrier absolutely refuses to double bag the newspapers. He does it maybe once a week--on a clear day without any sprinkler on--but on days when it is wet outside, naturally or with the sprinkler on, he refuses to double bag the newspaper.

And of course, he throws the paper directly into a major puddle in our driveway, making the paper ever more gnarly.

We have complained almost every day for the last few weeks at least, and we have gotten credits on the newspaper, meaning we do not have to pay for that day's newspaper.

In fact, I keep on telling the operator handling our case that if this continues, I expect to get a bill for $0 soon, because we aren't paying for any newspapers with the credits we are getting.

I would rather pay for a dry paper. Reading the newspaper in the morning is a vanishing bit of pleasure in a world where you can get your news--and your newspaper--digitally, but there is nothing like reading a real newspaper each morning.

And look, the carrier is dealing with the wrong person if he continues to deliver wet newspapers to us.

As some of you know, there was a period in my life, as an adult, where I, myself, was a delivery person, of the New York Times and New York Post, back in the 1990s.

Look, I did not like double bagging the newspapers, either, in particular the Sunday New York Times, which, as you know, can be pretty bulky.

But when the customer wanted a double bagged newspaper, they got that from me, through my grumbles.

I honestly don't remember if I double bagged the newspaper at the depot or I had extra bags and double bagged them in the car as I was delivering them, but when a customer wanted a double bagged newspaper--or had other delivery requests, including putting the paper in the mailbox or behind a screen door--I would do it, because the customer wanted it.

I have told the operators handling our little problems that I was once a delivery person myself, I know what a pain it is to double bag papers, but I also tell them if the request was made, I would do it, without question.

Our delivery person--because of spite or laziness or whatever--refuses to do it.

The person handling our problem has told us that the delivery people are not employees of Newsday, so there is a limited amount of things that they can do to rectify the problem from their perch. Pretty much the only thing they can do is to tell the district supervisor about the problem, but so far, the district supervisor does not seem very interested in making the delivery person realize that if he does not do as we are asked, he will be fired for insubordination.

No, it has not come to that, but it may in the near future.

All we want is a dry newspaper. Heck, the newspapers have been so wet, so saturated with water, that it takes them more than a day to dry, and an old, dry newspaper is worthless to me.

Bring me a dry newspaper, or bring me death!

No, it has not come to that, but am I asking for so much?