Rant #2,427: Everybody Plays the Fool

I have come to the conclusion that the world is crazy.

If you doubt what I have to say, then just read on.

Writer/Comedian Whitney Cummings, one of the creators of one of the most horrific sitcoms I have ever seen--the of course extremely popular "2 Broke Girls" (no, there is no accounting for taste)--recently was contacted by extortionists who asked for money from her.

If she did not pay them the money, then they would post a topless photo of her for all to see.

Cummings claims that she "mistakenly" took such a photo, and somehow, it ended up on the Internet.

Unscrupulous people looking for an easy hand out found it, and then went back to her with their extortion attempt.

Now, what would you do if such a thing happened to you?

Would you not go to the police and see if anything could be done? Extortion, the last time I read up on it, was still illegal, and although the laws of the Wild West have changed with the advent of the Internet, those doing the extorting would probably be liable for at the very least, some type of police action--like an arrest--for their dirty deed.

And yes, Cummings knows exactly who her extortionists are, by the way, so this is no stab in the dark for someone in the outback who might have done this--she knows their names, which she could have provided to the police.

But of course, this is 2019, not 1969, and Cummings, being such a forward thinker, took the matter into her own hands.

Instead of reporting this incident to the police, she reported it to the social media universe, and said the way to thwart the extortionists was not through police action, but through ...

Nipple action.

Stating "If anyone is gonna make money or likes off my nipple, it's gonna be me. So here it all is, you foolish dorks."

Yes, this genius of our existence actually reposted the photo for all to see--a photo that she supposedly mistakenly put up on the Internet, a private photo, a photo that she never thought anyone would ever see.

Of course, after making the photo public, she went all teary eyed and socially conscious, telling us peons just how difficult it is to be a celebrity in the world that we all live in.

"When a woman in the public eye is extorted, we have to spend time, money and energy dealing with it, hiring lawyers and security experts, and living with a pit in our stomach about when and how we will be humiliated, Y'all can have my nipple but not my time or money anymore," she said.

Yup, so you publicly humiliate yourself, but you do it on your own terms ... yeah, I get it.

Look, the 36-year-old is an attractive lady, but I seriously doubt that most people who are searching for illicit photos from celebrities would make it their passion to look for a photo of Cummings versus, let's say, Kate Upton.

What this all smacks of is a publicity stunt. Cummings has numerous projects coming up in the near future, and what better way to promote what she is doing than to put up a nude photo of yourself to gain attention?

That appears to be the way it is done today, with nude photos of celebrity ladies somehow leaking on the Internet at the most opportune moments for those involved.

Of course, these very self centered individuals do more hurt than harm when they do this, because then, us commonfolk with perhaps legitimate stories of such photos leaking onto the Internet without our permission, get forgotten because those photos are not of celebrities.

Nassau and Suffolk counties on Long Island have on the books anti-pornographic extortion laws, where those "sharing" intimate photos that were never meant to be shared are subject to fine and imprisonment.

But no, Cummings minimizes the whole thing for her own greed by going after the extortionists herself, as if she is some sort of conquering hero.

First of all, there is no "mistake" about taking such a photo and "somehow" it gets on the Internet. The photo was taken--and Cummings admits to this--and then it wound up on the Internet, so she is actually the one at fault for getting the ball rolling on this.

And since she has supposedly been extorted, and has the information the police need to nab these supposed lawbreakers--she even says she won't put this information up for all to see--she is breaking the law herself, in a way, by not handing this information over the police.

If this person or persons has done it to Cummings, you just know they have done it to others, the famous and not so famous. She is actually enabling and empowering these fools to do it all over again with somebody else.

All this while she cries into her very full pocketbook about how much time and effort it would take her to do this the right way.

Please, get a 9 to 5 job and then shed your crocodile tears.

Yes, P.T. Barnum was right when he said, "A sucker is born every minute," and let me ask you, who is the sucker in this story--the extortionists, Cummings herself, or the idiots that applaud her for her insane actions?

Yes, as the old song says, "Everybody Plays the Fool" in this case.

And Cummings is the biggest fool of them all, nipple and all.