Classic Rant #28 (June 10, 2009): Women Complaining About Swimsuits-Just Jump In the Water!

Let me start off by saying that I love my wife dearly. She is a great woman, balancing career and motherhood, and, for that matter, being married to me, all at once. I can't live without her.

However, when it comes to bathing suits, she drives me mad.

My wife, who is 52 like I am, hates the way she looks in bathing suits. To me, she looks great--and certainly looks much younger than her years--but when she looks in the mirror, she must see something that I don't, because she hates the way she looks ...

Especially in a bathing suit.

Look, I know that bathing suits show a little more skin than regular, everyday clothes, but the idea is to wear what is comfortable and have fun in the water.

We are going on vacation soon, and I saw my wife's available bathing suits, and I thought she should go and buy a new one. Well, this led to the usual, " I don't need one" refrain, followed by "I look fat" and all the other nonsense related to bathing suits. She also said that now that she is 52, some of her bathing suits are not appropriate for her anymore.

My wife is far from fat. She works out every day. She has the look and figure of a woman in her 30s. Nobody can believe she is 52.

And we are not talking about bikinis or really skimpy swimwear. Her suits cover her up pretty well, leaving lots to the imagination. They don't show very much at all.

She actually went and tried on a few suits, but, of course, she didn't like how she looked in them.

The end result: she will be wearing the suits she has, even though she doesn't like the way she looks in them either. Of course, I thought she needed a new swimsuit, but I am only her husband, what do I know?

I am happy that I don't have such a problem. I really don't care how I look in a suit, although I wouldn't wear a tiny Speedo or something like that. I just put one on and go in the water.

With women, I know it's different, but just put one on and jump in! Don't worry about all the other things.

(And no, that picture is not of my wife. If I printed a picture of her in a bathing suit, I think she would kill me. But I repeat, she looks great in whatever swimwear she chooses.)