Classic Rant #27 (June 9, 2009): Don't Remake Movies That Are Perfect Already

During the past few years, Hollywood has churned out one stinker after another, but at least most of these were original films, based on original scripts. Occasionally, I personally find a film that is terrific and keeps my attention, but nine times out of 10, I find myself bored out of my mind.

What's worse, Hollywood has a penchant for taking something that is perfect and making it into trash--and what I am talking about are movie remakes.

When was the last time you saw a really good remake? Well, I certainly didn't this weekend when I saw "The Day the Earth Stood Still" on video. The original movie was absolutely perfect, getting into the Cold War mood as an alien travels to the earth to actually help our planet, but no one will give him a chance because he is an "alien." It was one of the best science fiction movies of all time.

Well, the newest version of this film is trash, plain and simple. Keanu Reeves, one of the all-time worst actors ever, is this version's Klaatu, but the filmmakers changed the plot a bit, to make it more of an ecological fable than anything else. There is also a hint of romance, although nothing ever happens, between Reeves and the beautiful Jennifer Connelly, another one of the world's worst (and probably one of the most overrated) actors. She is nice to look at, but her character, who actually believes Klaatu, is vapid.

The movie is absolutely awful. I can't believe Hollywood can foist a movie like this on the public.

But they have done it numerous times, butchering classic films with updated--but horrid--remakes.

"Psycho" and "The War of the Worlds" are just two recent remakes that have not improved one iota on the perfect originals.

And don't get me started on TV shows-to-major-motion-pictures ... I don't remember the last good one I've seen, but I can tell you about some of the horrid ones, including "Charlie's Angels," "The Honeymooners" and the absolutely god-awful "Get Smart." And yes, most of the Star Trek films are awful if you are honest about it.

Come up with original scripts, that's my message. I mean, if they can remake "Psycho," who is to say that "Casablanca," "Gone with the Wind," and "The Wizard of Oz" remakes are not festering in some alleged screenwriter's imagination?