Rant #2,401: A-B-C

We often remember where we were when specific incidents happen that shape our lives.

I remember that I was in my first grade class when it was announced that President John F. Kennedy had been shot, and died of his wounds.

I remember hearing about the senseless murder of Martin Luther King Jr. My family and I were in the living room of our apartment and were watching the TV together, when the news broke, and my mother kept on saying over and over, "Oh my God!"

I remember hearing about Robert F. Kennedy getting shot during a campaign appearance out west. I heard about it the next morning, and everyone carried their transistor radios to school to hear the latest, and eventually tragic, updates on the legislator.

I remember that when the Challenger went down, I was at work, the bosses allowed us to turn the radio all the way up, and we listened as the ship exploded, taking all of its passengers with it.

And to a much lesser degree, I remember hearing about the death of Michael Jackson, and hearing about it in a most unlikely place. My family and I were on vacation, and we were at a television taping of the weekly TNA wrestling show at Universal Studios in Orlando. A woman sitting next to my wife told us what she had heard, and the news spread like wildfire as the wrestlers jumped and thumped each other in the ring before us.

Today is the 10th anniversary of his passing, and he remains as polarizing a figure now as he was back then.

What can you say about Michael Jackson?

He seemed to be the ultimate paradox.

On one hand, this guy was the ultimate entertainer, and had been one through his childhood. He was this generation's version of Sammy Davis Jr., a guy who could do anything: sing, dance, act. And he seemed to be having a great time doing it.

On the other hand, Jackson seemed to have had demons the size of Godzilla within him, and they made him outwardly a very strange person. Plastic surgery and admissions of extremely strange behavior bedeviled him as an adult.

And a lot of that behavior had to do with his almost open relationship he had with children.

From afar, children seemed to adore his almost pixie-like persona, an adult who was sort of an unofficial kid, and one whose music was relevant and for the moment.

But up close, Jackson seemed to be a very troubled adult, too close to kids for just about anybody to feel safe with him.

But he was the self-proclaimed "King of Pop," and everyone--kids and adults and even grandparents--adored this guy, bought his records, and made him the top singer and the most popular personality on the planet.

This happened even as he was being accused of getting too close to kids, and even admitting to having them over to his Neverland combine, and having them in his bedroom.

He openly spoke about his relationship with children, and for some, he made us feel that what was happening was commonplace, was normal, was something that he did as this eternal child, and that there was nothing happening that anyone should be concerned about.

But many people kind of figured that this was not normal behavior by any means, for anyone, and that Jackson had some explaining to do.

Sure, he somehow got married to Elvis Presley's daughter for a short time--a keen P.R. move to make him look like he was just like most other guys--but the rumors persisted, following him to his grave.

Although never convicted of anything during his lifetime, his fame--and stories about what actually was happening behind the scenes--only grew after his death.

What really was happening at Neverland?

A recent documentary--which I have not personally seen--supposedly shed some new light on the goings on at Neverland, but it is also suspect, because it featured two men who claimed they were molested by Jackson, but who had previously said that nothing went on there.

But the rumors persist.

Me, I do have an opinion on all of this, so here goes, for better or worse:

I do believe that Jackson was a molester, and that he was mentally ill, Through all the great music he put out, there was another side of him that was perverse and cruel.

I also believe that he died at precisely the right time to keep his fame going into perpetuity. If he were alive today, I believe he would be facing the same fate as R. Kelley and Bill Cosby have faced, that their past actions are under intense scrutiny for the former and has led to incarceration for the latter.

Jackson paid millions to kids and their families to keep quiet about what was going on at Neverland, so he was never convicted of anything, but his near-bragging about his lifestyle told me right then and there that there was something funny going on with Jackson and his young mates.

Can one separate the sterling entertainer and the actual very flawed man?

I simply don't know.

There are those who think that Jackson was god on earth, that he could do no wrong, and they can listen to his music and watch his dance moves without any hesitation.

There are others who are completely repulsed by this creature, and want nothing ever to do with him.

I have Michael Jackson and Jackson 5 records in my collection. I have not listened to any of them in a long time, which is not terribly unusual for me, because I kind of flit from one artist to another, and right now, I am simply not keen on listening to these records--the same situation I am in with Bill Cosby recordings, of which I have plenty.

I, personally, cannot separate the man from what I believe, and have believed for decades, were his actions toward children.

To sum up, I personally believe he was a pedophile, an extremely sick human being who needed massive help that he never, ever got.

But when I hear "A-B-C" or any of the other early Jackson 5 tunes on radio and TV, boy, do they bring back lots of memories.

He was a cute kid, had incredible talent, and was primed to take over the world.

What happened along the way to doing that I do believe was sad, really sad, and I cannot separate his two very different personas.

Michael Jackson is an enigma who will continue to be just that until the end of time.

He is simply a hard nut to crack, and I think he will probably be that way forever.

And no, trying to figure him out isn't as easy as 1-2-3.