Classic Rant #978 (June 6, 2013): 20 Years

Today is my wife and my 20th wedding anniversary.

I have to say that I am pretty lucky. I am married to the best, greatest and most beautiful woman in the world.

I met her at a very low point in my life, she stuck with me through that, and all these years later, we are as strong as ever.

We believe in the same things, have the same values, and while we don't see eye to eye on everything, we make a perfect match.

We share a son, and my daughter respects her for what she is to her and to me.

Looking back, the evening leading up to my wedding 20 years ago is something that I can now laugh at, but at the time, it really wasn't funny at all.

My best man, Drew, was taking me out for dinner the night before.

He lived in Queens at the time, on a street that ran parallel to the Van Wyck Expressway.

I drove there from Long Island, parked my car in front of the building next door to his, and went on my merry way.

We went to a very good Tex Mex restaurant in Manhattan. I didn't want to stay out too late that night since I had to get up early the next morning, so when we returned to Queens, I bid my friend adieu and walked to my car.

The problem was, my car was not where I parked it.

I looked all around for that car. I thought, perhaps, that I had parked it somewhere else, I thought I was losing my mind.

But no, I parked the car where I parked the car and that was that.

I asked the doorman of the building that I had parked in front of if he had seen my car, and of course, he said that he hadn't.

He was a liar. My car was stolen right in front of his eyes, and he was probably part of the group that took it, or at least he acted as a lookout for them.

Anyway, I went back to my friend's apartment, we called the police, and what we got back was the NYPD version of Abbott and Costello.

One was short and fat, the other tall and skinny. These two cops didn't know up from down, were completely incompetent, and really, I should have reported both of them.

One cop had a very bad cold, blowing his nose repeatedly when speaking with me. The other seemingly didn't take down the facts correctly.

They promised me that I would get back my Olds Cutlass Supreme very quickly.

Well, I am still waiting for that car to return to me.

My friend drove me back home, and I had to push that problem aside, because I had to prepare for one of the happiest days of my life.

And I did just that.

The next day was windy as I have ever seen it, and we had an outdoor ceremony. Everything was blowing over, but when I saw my soon-to-be-wife in her gown and everything else, I was literally blown over by how beautiful she really was.

And still is. Like I said, I am a very lucky man.

We honeymooned in New Orleans, and then moved on with our lives together.

Twenty years. I really can't believe it, but it's true.

I love my wife and I always will.

And like someone else once said for a far different reason, "I am the luckiest man on the face of the earth."