Classic Rant #976 (June 4, 2013): Fit To Be Tied

Since yesterday's Rant about shorts got such a rousing amount of support (not really), I figured that today I would write about the bane of my existence, and that is wearing a tie to work.

I have written about ties before in this blog, but it bears worth repeating, I'm afraid.

I hate to wear a tie, I have always hated to wear a tie, and I always will hate to wear a tie, no matter what the occasion.

I hate to put it on, to knot it, and to have it lay flat on my shirt.

I feel it is like a modern noose, ready to strangle me at a moment's notice.

It is a pain.

The only thing that a tie is good for is to wipe off my glasses when they get dirty.

Otherwise, it is truly useless.

I have to wear a tie four days a week to work, Monday through Thursday.

On Friday, we get a reprieve. We have a dress down day, and we can wear basically whatever we want as long as it is business casual.

That is fine with me, and I get to wear sneakers that day.

But on the other four days of the week, for whatever purpose or reason, I have to wear a tie, and I hate it.

And I especially hate it during this time of year, when the weather is starting to get nice.

It strangles me during this time of year, and makes we feel warmer that I actually am.

Of course, I am speaking from the male perspective here.

I know that women love to see men in ties. They find it more professional, more business-like, and they find that their men are more handsome with a tie on.

I don't know if there is a female equivalent to a tie, but I guess there probably is (women, chime in now).

But I just hate ties. I have a whole load of them, maybe rotate between four or five of them each week, and that is about it.

So, although this column is something of a rerun, it isn't bad to kind of repeat something on a somewhat slow news day.

Would you rather I have written about Pia Zadora's battery charge against her husband?

So there ... maybe writing about ties isn't all that bad.