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Thursday, December 20, 2018

Rant #2,285: Bubblegum Is the Naked Truth (Part 4)

Yes, we are nearing the end of this quest to list the greatest bubblegum music hits of all time.

Nobody asked anybody to draw up such a list, but with the 50th anniversary of the height of the bubblegum music experience in 2018, time was getting sparse to celebrate this when it should be celebrated, so it was now or never.

I chose now.

To review, here are the top 15 bubblegum hits of all time, as chosen by yours truly:

1) Archies - "Sugar Sugar"
2) Monkees - "I'm a Believer"
3) Ohio Express - "Yummy Yummy Yummy"
4) 1910 Fruitgum Co. - "1, 2, 3 Red Light"
5) Beatles - "I Want To Hold Your Hand"
6) Tommy James and the Shondells - "I Think We're Alone Now"
7) Tommy Roe - "Dizzy"
8) 1910 Fruitgum Co. - "Simon Says"
9) Ohio Express - "Chewy Chewy"
10) Beatles - "She Loves You"
11) Lemon Pipers - "Green Tambourine"
12) Herman's Hermits 0 "I'm Henry VIII, I Am
13) Jackson 5 - "ABC"
14) Jackson 5 - "I Want You Back"
15) Partridge Family - "I Think I Love You"

And here are numbers 16 through 20.

16) Bobby Sherman - "Julie, Do Ya Love Me": Actually, any of his spate of hits from 1960 to 1971 or so could have been considered here, but I picked this No. 5 tune from 1970, written by Tom Bahler, because I think it epitomizes everything good about bubblegum: singalong lyrics, happiness, and well, some type of latent sexuality. Sherman had been around for at least a decade in Hollywood before he finally hit paydirt, but when he did, he and David Cassidy picked up after Davy Jones as TV's most popular teenybopper singer. Sherman was spurred on by his starring role in "Here Comes the Brides," and he had arguably the best hair of any TV personality ever. Perfect for bubblegum idolatry. 




17) Tommy James and the Shondells - "Mony Mony": James might be the godfather of bubblegum music, but if you read his book about his dealings with his record label, he took great offense at that designation. Nonetheless, this 1968 tune, written by Bobbie Bloom, Ritchie Cordell, Bo Gentry and James himself, again features all the facets of bubblegum music which are good. James confirmed in his book that the title of the tune--a song that reached No. 3 on the charts--came from the Mutual of New York (MONY) building in Manhattan.




18) Shirley Ellis - "The Name Game": If James was the reluctant godfather of bubblegum music, then Ellis was the godmother. She had several tunes that really laid the groundwork for bubblegum, including "The Clapping Song," but this particular tune, written by Ellis and her husband Lincoln Chase, really hit the nail on the head in 1964, basically creating a music game where you took a name and bent it and stretched it in a fun way. The song reached No. 3 on the chart, and while the name "Nick" was immortalized in the song, the name "Chuck" was not!




19) American Breed - "Bend Me, Shape Me": Well, if Ellis' song bent and stretched names, this song bent and shaped our minds, becoming one of the great music earworms of all time. Written by Scott English and Larry Weiss, this tune--which reached No. 5 on the Hot 100 in 1968--also features an incredible hook, one of the best in the annals of bubblegum history. And if you thumb your nose at the song and the band, let it be known that two members of this act went on to form Rufus, the rock and roll hall of famers which made a star out of Chaka Khan.




20) Monkees - "Valleri": Why not choose the Monkees' other No. 1 hits--"Last Train to Clarksville" and "Daydream Believer"--to be on this list? The reason is that this particular 1968 smash, which reached No. 3 on the chart and was written by all-time bubblegum hitmakers Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart, has more elements of bubblegum than those two other songs, which were very subtle message songs. This song was just bubblegum from beginning to end, featuring Davy Jones at his bubblegum and teenybopper finest. Incredibly. the song is important in the annals of rock and roll history, as one the earliest bootlegged tunes, having been out since 1966 but not legitimately on record until two years later. DJs took the track off the TV show and played it two years before it was legitimately released. And you thought Bob Dylan's music was the earliest of the bootlegs!




Well, there you have it, the top 20 best bubblegum tunes of all time.

Next week, we will round out the list of the top 25, and let me tell you, there are about 25 different tunes that could be in the final five on this list, but by next week, I will whittle it down to just five--and it won't be easy.

Bubblegum music really is the naked truth, but it is also really difficult to compile a list like this.

Speak to you again tomorrow.

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