Rant #2,273: Dreidel

Well, I was hoping that this year was going to be different ...

Unfortunately, every year there is a problem, and in my own little way, I have to try to fix it, or at least explain why it is such a hurtful thing.

I was hoping--I guess really against hope--that I would be able to refrain from this plea this year, but I guess that old habits are very, very difficult to break.

And I think readers who have stuck by me through nearly 2,300 posts know what is coming next, but for others, this might be a revelation.

Here goes, and I am going to try to explain this entire thing in a novel way.

Back on June 6, 1993, my wife and I were married in a beautiful ceremony. As is traditional during a Jewish wedding, we were married by a rabbi, and to cement my love for my new wife, I shattered a glass with my shoe.

On August 23, 1995, our son was born, and we scheduled a bris, which is basically a large party where Jewish male children are circumcised. The procedure is performed by a moil, a person knowledgable in such things in this culture.

Thirteen years later, in 2008, our son had his bar mitzvah, a traditional ceremony to signify that one is a man, with all the duties that go along with it. Our son recited his haftorah, and after the formal ceremony, we had a huge party afterwards.

Getting married by a rabbi, having a bris, and our son having his bar mitzvah should broadcast loud and clear that we are Jewish. We follow this religion to whatever level we follow it, and we are proud of who we are.

There are some people on this planet who evidently do not understand this. They believe that Jews are perhaps their own forgotten or misplaced flock, and that our celebrations and our culture, mean nothing in the modern world.

And people who evidently believe this are both non-Jews and, incredibly, many Jews.

When it comes to the holiday season each year, this thinking, it appears, is even more evident, and yes, it has reared its ugly head once again.

Here is what I wrote way back on December 2, 2015, Rant #1,564, about this subject, and what applied three years ago continues to resonate today.

"OK, here goes my yearly diatribe about the holidays.
Believe me, I am unhappy that I have to repeat this year after year, but I feel that I must.
Christmas is a beautiful holiday, with all its pageantry and lights.
And food.
Hanukkah is a beautiful holiday, again with all of its pageantry and lights.
And food.
Other than that, the two holidays share nothing, except for the approximate time period they are celebrated, at the end of the calendar year.
I am Jewish.
I have a menorah in my window.
I do not have a Hanukkah bush in my house--there is no such thing.
I do not celebrate Christmaskus, or whatever some people refer to the inappropriate blending of the two separate holidays.
If you know me well, do not send myself and my family Christmas or Season's Greetings cards.
Send us Hanukkah cards or send us nothing at all.
It takes no energy to move down the aisle and find a Hanukkah card for us. 
I would never send a Hanukkah card to those I know who celebrate Christmas.
If you don't know me well, it is highly appropriate to wish myself and my family "Merry Christmas."
If you do know me well, it is highly inappropriate to wish myself and my family "Merry Christmas." It takes no extra energy to say "Happy Hanukkah."
And do not knock me for saying "Happy Holiday" to people I don't know well and "Merry Christmas" to those I do know well, and know celebrate Christmas. 
'Nuf said. Have a great holiday, but do not confuse the two holidays. Please."

Sorry, if you cannot get this, if you cannot understand this, then I feel very, very sorry for you, and you should search inwardly to find out why you cannot understand this.

I am not putting the two holidays on the same plane. So many more people in this world are not Jewish that they cannot be on the same level.

Nor should they be, and nor should they ever be compared.

All that I am doing is simply looking for an acknowledgment that my holiday is, well, my holiday.

There are still people who believe that Hanukkah is the Jewish Christmas. Hanukkah is most certainly not the Jewish Christmas. The two holidays do not intertwine in any way, shape or form.

In fact, there is one person I communicate from time to time with who has told me a number of times--and did so recently as part of a conversation that we were having--that she learned this directly from me. She had thought the two holidays were interspersed, but found out from me that they are completely separate.

And it was nice to get that acknowledgement from her.

But we have others who absolutely refuse to understand this, and again, I have to ask them, "Why?"

Right now, we have a single, solitary card up for Hanukkah that we received from a dear friend of ours who is also Jewish. He enjoys Christmas as much as we all do, but he gets it.

My parents gave us our gifts, but we usually wait to have a get together with my sister before we really do the major exchanging of gifts and cards. This year, my sister's family have had some issues which are now resolved, and we hope to meet with them in a few weeks to really cement the holiday, putting this year behind all of us.

So yes, with all of our relatives, all of our friends, we have one single, solitary card up, and honestly, we don't expect to receive any others before the holiday ends this weekend.

I am also the only Jewish person left at my work, and this business--originally run by a Jew and which employed several people of that faith--is going into the dumpster anyway, so I pretty much expected that my holiday would be ignored. No, no one said to me, "Have a good Hanukkah" or even "Have a good holiday."

But the family thing is much more important. I simply do not get it, and will never get it.

And why should I?

Why should I even try to understand why family members refuse to acknowledge who we are--and who some of them are as well?

Sorry, people, I do not understand this, and even after all these years, this attitude is, well, kind of ridiculous.

Call me what you want, but if you walked a mile in my shoes, I think you might understand.

This is not the way to be, this is not the way to act, this is not the way to exist.

But so be it. 

Maybe next year people will start to get this. I really wish this every year, and it never comes to the fore.

So I am going to do it again.

Maybe next year ... .