Classic Rant #929 (March 27, 2013): High and Dry

Hugh Hefner is a man's man.

Not only does he run the Playboy Empire, but he firmly believes in marriage.

Yes, the ultimate Playboy believes in that institution lock, stock and barrel ...

At least if you believe his latest rant, where the 86-year old publisher--who I swear looks like nothing more than a dirty old man with a sailor hat--claims that he never cheated on any of his wives while he was married to them, according to a recent interview he did with Esquire Magazine.

However, once he wasn't married, well, Hefner says that is when he really sowed his wild oats.

Now if you want to believe all of this, I have a bridge to sell you somewhere.

He claims to have been with 1,000 women, and he once claimed that he also was with one man, but didn't care for it at all.

Are we to believe that Hefner didn't do anything with anybody during his marriages, the latest to 29 year old Crystal Harris?

Well, probably now he will stay committed to Harris, because after all, he is 86 years old.

But what about during his other marriages?

He had young things running around the Playboy mansion at all times during those unions.

In fact, didn't he marry one or two of those young things himself?

It's funny, but the reaction of the public is pretty much utter disbelief.

They figure that sure, he didn't fool around, per se, because the wives were part of the action.

Could be.

But Hefner claims that he never fooled around while married.

It almost sounds like then-President Bill Clinton's admission that he never had sex with that woman.

What do you believe here?

I think that "fooling around" to Hefner is quite different than "fooling around" for the general populace.

He probably did "fool around," maybe with the consent of his wives, maybe even with the participation of his wives in the fooling around.

In that case, he didn't "fool around," because he got the OK from his wife.

Of course, in the real world, that is "fooling around," but when was the last time Hefner actually lived in the real world?

He has had some life, no matter if you love him or hate him, but to say he never dallied in other women's pleasures while married is something that I personally can't buy.

But heck, he is an 86 year old man who is married to a woman a third of his age--what did anybody expect him to say?

And again, that sailor hat ... I would keep my daughter away from him, I really would.