Classic Rant #928 (March 26, 2013): Passover, the Next Day

We had our Passover seder last night, and it went pretty well.

With everyone in attendance--my family, my sister's family, and our parents--it was pretty raucous as usual, but it was fun, and really was an affirmation of how strong our small family is.

Eleven people, 11 people talking all at the same time, but we managed to have the seder, celebrate the holiday, and eat until we couldn't put another morsel in our mouths.

And that leads me to a "malady" that I call "Matzoh Stomach."

Every Jew who has celebrated this holiday has had it in one form or another.

You might not get it every year, but you have probably gotten it at least once during the holiday.

Here is what Matzoh Stomach is:

Most of the dishes that relate to the holiday are very, very heavy.

In our family, they are traditional Eastern European dishes, such as potato kugel.

These things are delicious, but they can lay in your stomach as if you've consumed an entire bowling ball ... and maybe a bowling pin too.

And then you have matzoh, the backbone of the entire celebration, signifying the Jews' flight out of Egypt all those years ago.

They had to rush out, so they couldn't take the time to let their bread rise, and out of this dash came unleavened bread, or matzoh.

It is basically a large cracker, but it is oh so good.

Well, you mix the heaviness of the other foods with matzoh, and after a couple of days of eating all this good stuff, you feel overly full, maybe even bloated.

And that is what Matzoh Stomach is to me.

I ate so much last night that I might be on the road to this malady, but the funny thing is that it doesn't necessarily hit you every year.

I, personally, haven't had this thing for the past three or four years, but when I get it, I know it, believe me I do.

You simply feel like you can't move at all.

The only remedy is to go back to your regular eating habits, but remember, this is an eight-day celebration, so if you get it, better to get it towards the end of the holiday, because bread and regular eating is just around the corner.

If you get it early on, well, you just have to grin and bear it.

Tonight is the second seder, the final seder of the holiday for most Jews. Religious Jews also have a seder to end the holiday, but my family just has the two seders and that is it.

I am sure I will continue to eat all the wonderful foods of the holiday, and I did eat matzoh for breakfast this morning, with some cream cheese.

And I had macaroons, which are so, so good.

Am I headed for Matzoh Stomach? I don't know.

I can ask the "Four Questions" and not get that answer.

But this is a great holiday, it really is, and if Matzoh Stomach is in my future, so be it.

It will be well worth it.