Rant #2,113: Celebration!

Today is Good Friday, leading up to Easter Sunday on April 1, which just happens to be April Fools Day, too. Easter, one of the holiest periods on the Christian calendar, honors the resurrection of Jesus from the dead.

Tonight, at sunset, is also the first night of Passover, an eight-day celebration centered around the plight of Jews and their liberation by God from enslavement by the Egyptians in biblical times.

It is amazing that these two holidays from two different branches of religion can basically fall at the same time, and in the case of Good Friday and the first night of Passover, the same day.

But it is not as unusual as you might think. I believe this phenomenon last happened in 2015, and before that in 2012, but whatever the case, it does happen, and it is happening this year.

And let's remember, that famous painting of "The Last Supper" is actually one showing Jesus and his disciples at a Passover seder, so yes, the holidays--and the religions, to a certain extent--are intertwined, in particular around this time of year.

I remember as a kid, even though my family is Jewish, we did color our eggs around this time of year. When I was a little kid, my mother would buy the Paas egg-dye kit, and we would dye a couple of eggs. It was fun, but messy as anything, getting into everything, but yes, it was fun.

And before people got hysterical about such things, we used to do the same thing in school, as well as color pictures of Easter bunnies, and hang them on our class walls.

But being Jewish, our holiday was Passover, and I have some great memories of the holiday, from the very religious seders we would have with my paternal grandparents, to the less solemn ones we would have with my maternal grandparents.

I read the traditional Four Questions--"Why is this night different from other nights ... ?--at both seders, and it was done in Hebrew, but let me tell you, each and every word had to be correct at my paternal grandparents' seder, and my sister and I would study the words before we got to the seder, and we would breathe a sigh of relief when we had performed it correctly.

But the onus was clearly on me--being the male child, the first child, the first grandchild, and the one who would carry on the name--to perform it correctly, and I made sure I did just that.

It was because we revered and loved our paternal grandparents so much that we did not want to make an error. My grandmother would have smiled and laughed it off. My grandfather, on the other hand, would not have taken too kindly to it, or at least we didn't think he would.

My sister and I also read it at my maternal grandparents' seder, but really, the pressure was off during their seder. If we made an error, it was no big deal, although I do think they were happy that we were generally able to pull it off year after year without a hitch.

Now, as parents ourselves, my sister and I really get into our own kids reciting the Four Questions, and maybe one day, we will feel the same about our grandkids if we ever become grandparents, something that is not in the offing anytime soon.

I also remember the food, and the lack thereof, when I was a kid.

No, we had plenty of food to eat during the actual seders--too much to eat in fact--but after the seders, what could you munch on when you just felt a wee bit hungry during the other days and nights of Passover?

There was nothing, and I do mean nothing. You could eat matzoh all day, but the dreaded "matzoh stomach" would then rear its ugly head in your stomach.

You could eat chocolate matzoh and macaroons all day, but I wasn't really a candy eater, so this didn't do much for me.

So, what was a poor boy to snack on?

In about 1965 or 1966, Kosher for Passover potato chips finally made the scene. I am only using those dates because it was when I was eight or nine years old when I first saw them and tried them on for size.

They were chewy, laden with salt, but let me tell you, they were soooooooo good!

And to finally have something to munch on in between meals during the holiday was simply revolutionary!

Today, there are so many things that are Kosher for Passover that you really can choose what you want from so many different items.

Every snack imaginable has been co-opted and made Kosher for Passover, all different types of chips are around for your stomach's content.

There are all different types of "value-added" matzoh, including white chocolate matzoh, and there are as many different types of macaroons as there are cookies.

And once you have one, you have to have another and another.

These things are not just Kosher for Passover, but they taste good too!

And I also become a tuna-holic during this period, eating tuna fish and matzoh for every lunchtime meal. But before that, for breakfast, rather than eat new Kosher for Passover cereals, I eat matzoh and cream cheese.

Oh, what delights! they all taste so good!

So anyway, as we go into this year's sort-of conjoined holiday period, let me wish everyone a happy Easter and a happy Passover.

Speak to you again on Monday, and have a good weekend.

Classic Rant #765 (June 27, 2012): Keeping Abreast While Eating Out

I just read a report about restaurant dining, which spoke about a type of restaurant that I didn't know existed.

Well, more to the point, I kind of knew that it existed, but I didn't know the "creative" name given to these types of restaurants.

According to reports, what are called "breastaurants"--restaurants that feature scantily clad women as waitresses that offer various food fare to adult customers--are experiencing boobing, err, booming sales, while regular, family oriented restaurants aren't doing as well.

Without getting into specifics, what are breastaurants and why are they doing so well?

Breastaurants are dining out places that cater to an adult psyche, and primarily a male psyche. While not featuring nudity, the waitresses at these places--industry leader Hooters is the top-heavy leader of this type of restaurant--show just enough to get the guys going.

But even Hooters is having to adapt to an environment where a voluptuous economy isn't in place anymore. The chain has had to vary its menu, adding on new things for customers to bust open their wallets for.

Frankly, I have never been to one of these restaurants, but there is a Hooters in my vicinity, and I figured that when my son was old enough, maybe for an upcoming birthday, that might be a place to go to celebrate.

There is nothing wrong with these places at all. I mean, they aren't strip joints or massage parlors.

The waitresses show a little cleavage, and a little leg, and that is really about it.

It's not like walking into a trashy venue, either. A lot of these places are pretty uplifting types of establishments, if you know what I mean.

They are often situated in college towns, so they employ lots of college kids--not just the waitresses, but other staff too.

They are generally doing well because, I guess, people need an extra reason--or in this case, reasons--to go out and spend their hard-earned cash.

And the summer is the season to do it.

Those that knock these places as selling sex as well as chicken breast sandwiches are missing the point. You can see more nudity at any public beach than you can at these places.

So carry on. And even though I hate chicken, I like breasts, so maybe I will actually dig in one day.

Rant #2,112: Dream a Little Dream of Me

I have never been a person who had a lot of dreams while I slept, or at least remembered most of my dreams if I actually had any.

But as I am getting older, and with a lot of pressure around me, I seem to be remembering more of my dreams than ever before.

I had a very interesting one two nights ago, but first, let me digress.

When I was a kid, I did have one enduring dream, one that I had maybe once or twice a year over a period of a couple of years.

It was a dream of me falling. That is the only way that I can describe it. I don't know how long these dreams took place--a moment, a minute, an hour--but I had this dream as a kid several times during my pre-teen years.

One time, I remember that during this dream, I actually fell off my bed, and woke up on the floor next to my bed.

Another time--when I was maybe seven years old, because it could not have happened at any other time in my life due to size and weight, as you will see--my blanket was so tucked into the bed that I actually was falling onto the floor but was caught--or ensnared--by the blanket, which was fully tucked in at the side. It was so tucked in that it prevented me from hitting the floor, and I woke up cocoon-style in the side of the blanket.

Those dreams vanished by the time I was 10 years old or so, and I haven't had a similar dream since--or perhaps I have, and I simply don't remember it.

Then, as I became a teenager and later a young adult and then a full adult, I was one of those people who may have had dreams, but never remembered them. This literally went on for 40 or more years, but in the past few years, I have had dreams--some pretty vivid--that I definitely remember.

The most recent dream was a doozy, and it could have lasted for a few hours, a few minutes, or a few seconds.

But it was a vivid as all heck!

One period of my life that I never, ever dream about is high school. Those four years are a mere blip on my radar screen, four years that I would simply like to forget.

We had just moved from Rochdale Village, South Jamaica, Queens, New York--where I had those falling dreams--to the wilds of suburbia, in Massapequa Park, New York, and during those four years, I was at my most unhappiest.

I was away from my friends, away from the environment I knew, and away from pretty much everything that made me happy.

I didn't know anyone, nobody seemingly wanted to know me, and I suffered during those years, mentally, emotionally, socially and educationally.

Things really only picked up in my senior year there, and into college, where I had a ball and returned to all my prior levels that I had when we lived in Queens.

Anyway, last night, I had the very first dream that I could ever remember involving high school, more than 40 years after the fact.

I dreamt that somehow, this nearly 61 year old guy got transported back to 1975, the year that I graduated high school, with my knowledge of the past 40-plus years intact.

In other words, I was in 1975, in my 1975 body, but I had all the knowledge and experience that I possess today.

Somehow, this happened during a math class I had as a senior (did I even take math as a senior--I don't recall)--and I basically plopped into my seat right in the middle of class, sort of like the "Star Trek" crew beams down to a planet, through teleportation.

The class was looking at some printed mimeograph sheet that evidently had been handed out by the teacher--remember those?--and quite frankly, with all the knowledge I had about the future, I had no idea what I was looking at on that sheet in what was now the present, 1975!

A girl turned around and said something to me, and I had no idea what she was talking about.

The class bell then rung, and instinctively, I reached for my books under my chair, but there was nothing there. I folded up the mimeographed sheet, put it in my pocket, and left the classroom, walking in the hall and trying to figure out where my locker was, to no avail.

I figured I could go to the main office, get a copy of my schedule and find out where my locker was later, without letting on what had happened, but somehow, I ventured out onto the big main road in Massapequa, Sunrise Highway, and I looked around, and things were as they were in 1975.

Anybody that knows this main road, which stretches nearly from the Queens County/Nassau County border all the way out east on Long Island well in Eastern Suffolk County,  knows that the landscape of that roadway has changed dramatically over the past 43 years, but I was back in 1975, and I noticed all the changes that had not been made yet.

It was right then and there that I decided that I had to tell people what I knew was going to happen over the next 40-plus years--including the advent of the Internet, streaming, cell phones, DVDs, and yes, about Donald Trump--and I would do it at my class' Senior Variety Show.

Way back in 1975, I did participate in this show, as I ate donuts to set a short-lived record (I have spoken about this in the past on this blog).

But this time around, I was going to alter history; I would not be eating donuts, but I would act like a soothsayer, spiritualist or swami, telling people about what was going to happen in the future.

I decided on this plan of action because I was brimming with knowledge, and I just wanted to tell people about it.

The light went on in my bedroom, and with the light in my eyes, I woke up, and that was the end of the dream.

Yes, I have decided that this is all tied into my difficulties at finding a new job. I am so brimming with knowledge and enthusiasm, and I am so eager to show someone what I can do.

But just taking the dream as its own entity, that was some spectacular dream!

And for me to remember it all like I did ... would I have been able to convince kids in 1975 that 40 years later things would be so different in their world?

Sure, if the dream continued, I would probably have been booed off the stage, called some type of amateur Kreskin, and made to feel like a fool, but then again, maybe not.

Whatever the case, it was a great dream, one of the best dreams I ever had, or at least one of the best dreams I ever could remember.

Maybe it is also an omen, but a positive one.

Maybe, as they say, my ship is finally ready to come in.

Maybe not, but whatever the case, it was quite a dream, wasn't it?

Classic Rant #764 (June 26, 2012): 38 Is Great

Derek Jeter turns 38 today.

As a Yankees fan my whole life, Derek Jeter has defined the team for the past 16 years.

He is this generation's Mr. Yankee, every bit as much as Joe DiMaggio was an earlier generation's Mr. Yankee.

And like DiMaggio, he has a presence and grace which is incredible, especially in this day and age of Facebook, Twitter, the Internet, and everybody knowing everything about everybody.

Sure, he has been linked with lots of starlets, but somehow, no dirt comes out of these dalliances.

And he is the one guy that the other teams in baseball would give their right arm for. Although not the player he was several years ago, when you need a big hit, or a big play made in the field, this is the guy you want on your team.

Some--and even, some of his fellow ballplayers--believe he is the most overrated player to ever play the game. They say that if he played in, say, Cleveland, Jeter would just be another ballplayer.

But he plays in New York, and he knows just how to handle himself the right way.

He probably learned that from his parents, educators that don't look like they took much guff from their son when he was growing up.

He also learned from his sister, who battled cancer and won.

He has five World Series rings to show for his hard work and dedication to the game.

There really isn't much else to say about Jeter. Even non-baseball fans know his name, know what he looks like from the incredible array of endorsements he has, and of course, he is baseball's perennial teenybopper star, with his boy-next-door looks, so every teenage girl knows him and loves him.

He started off like a house on fire this season, but he has tailed off, still over .300 but teetering to fall below that mark. He probably will be in the All-Star game once again, and the way the Yankees are playing, the post season is beckoning for Jeter, and that is where he shines brighter than just about any other player.

So, as Jeter celebrates another birthday--and with no end in sight to his career as he goes for another milestone after hitting, and exceeding many other milestones--this Yankee fan wishes him the best.

Because let's face it, he is the best at what he does, even as he approaches 40.

And in my best Bob Sheppard interpretation ...

"Happy No. 38 and many more ... number two, Derek Jeter ... ."

Rant #2,111: Reeling In the Years

Tomorrow, on March 28, I will celebrate my 22nd anniversary at my current place of work.

I guess that "celebrate" is the operative word, because I am celebrating as if I was going to "celebrate" having a root canal.

But I look at myself as something of a survivor.

I have worked with dozens of people at this job that are no longer with us, figuratively and literally, that I truly have to look at myself as a survivor in this place.

Over the past 22 years, since 1996, we have had the usual comings and goings that every place of business experiences.

We have also had accidents, suicides and other events that have robbed us of various co-workers.

Even the Big Boss has left us, through natural causes, and it is safe to say that whatever my feelings about him--they were not good (this was the guy who suggested firing me when I couldn't get off of jury duty a few years ago, among other things)--the place has never been the same since he left us.

I don't hate my job--in fact I never have--I just dislike the circumstances that surround the place I work in, and the constant uncertainty about what is going to happen in a day, a month, a year, and even from moment to moment.

Look, I know I am in a dead field--print journalism--and that I am considered to be an older worker, but the lack of movement in my job search thoroughly depresses me, and makes me think that somebody up there has another plan for me, and it isn't going into a new position, that's for sure.

I have had exactly one real face-to-face job interview in a year and a half of looking for a new position. I have had a handful of phone interviews.

I have also been led up several dead ends, been lied to by potential employers, and I have also pretty much been ignored by the at least 300--and counting--jobs that I have applied for.

I don't want anyone to break out the violins, but when you experience this type of rejection, you really have to wonder about things, and you have to wonder about your future.

This past week, Social Security sent me its review of my work history, which comes periodically and which I am sure if you are a certain age, have yourself received in the mail from time to time like I have.

It reviews your work history and tells you how much you can get from Social Security if you retire now or retire at the prime retirement age.

In either case, I would be getting from Social Security such a pittance that I could not retire entirely, even if I am forced to retire from the regular work force because I simply cannot get a regular, full-time job after the one I have inevitably ends.

Even adding in what my wife would get, it would be pretty hard to make ends meet if we both retired entirely.

Our son already gets Social Security because of his disability, but even when you add that in, there isn't much to go on.

Yes, we have some IRAs that we can use, but how long are those going to last in the real world that we live in?

There seem to be a lot of freelance, off the books and part-time jobs available in my field, but then again, there also seem to be plenty of jobs available in my field too--but they seem to be closed off to those of my age, background and experience, so who knows if I could even get something like a freelance job to keep things at least near what they are now?

So right now, 22 years into this job and one month away from turning 61 years of age, I am a bit down, and certainly not in a celebratory mood.

Work has become drudgery, something I have to do before I do other things during my day, including going to doctors left and right.

That is why I am writing this today, and not on the actual anniversary tomorrow, because I have a morning doctor's appointment and for once, I am going to sleep a little later in the morning before I go.

And after that, it is back to work.

I have been told by some that early retirement is not quite the negative that others say that it is; it takes the stress off of life, gives you time to do what you want to do for the remainder of your days here, and that even though your cash flow is less, with certain adjustments, you can survive.

And if you buy into Social Security now, you might be dodging a bullet by doing it early, because the rumors about the future of Social Security persist, especially as Baby Boomers move on with their lives.

But I simply cannot foresee myself retired at such an early age--what am I going to do about health insurance, for one? I know that the government can also assist with that, but it still makes me uneasy even thinking about it.

So again, do not break out the violins. I am gainfully employed right now, the end is in sight but not quite here yet, and quite frankly, I am much better off than others who have lost their jobs and been out of work not days, not months, but for years.

I still have somewhere to go during weekday mornings, and my wife and son, and for that matter, my daughter, are all gainfully employed.

But I shiver thinking of the future.

I would like to retire on my own terms, I would like to leave this place before they go belly up on my own terms, but it doesn't look like that is going to happen.

So my 22nd anniversary here is not a cause for celebration; it is a cause for fear, because there almost certainly won't be a 23rd anniversary here, one way or the other.

And away we gooooooooooooooo!

(There will be no column tomorrow, and we will next speak on Thursday.)

Classic Rant #763 (June 25, 2012): Slam Dunk On a Lost Spaceship

Growing up in the 1960s and 1970s, I was greatly influenced by what I saw on television, much the same way today's kids are mesmerized by the Internet.

That box in our living room--and later, a smaller box in my room--brought the world to me, opened me up to new ideas, and yes, entertained me too.

And two of those people that entertained me celebrate birthdays today.

On the slam dunk side is Willis Reed, the New York Knicks legend who helped that team win two NBA championships, who turns 70 today.

The other is actress June Lockhart, who many viewers like myself fell in love with as the quintessential mom, first in "Lassie," and later, on that lost spaceship, on "Lost in Space." She turns 87 today.

Reed was the center on those great, intellectual, team-concept Knicks teams. He wasn't as tall as the other centers in the league--he was 6'8", maybe 6'9" on a good day--but he knew how to play guys like Wilt Chamberlain and Lew Alcindor. He particularly gave fits to Alcindor--later Kareem Abdul-Jabbar--and he took these other centers to school with his defensive and shooting prowess.

But one day sticks in my mind. I have talked about it many times, so I am going to summarize it here.

In the 1969-70 season, the Knicks and Lakers were tussling for the championship. Reed was injured, could barely walk, wasn't supposed to play the game on May 8, 1970, but somehow, he came out for warmups, which gave the Knicks the psychological edge they needed.

When Reed actually started the game and made his first two shots, the Lakers had had it. The Knicks won the championship, and me, in my sick bed, made a vow that if Reed could do it, I could too. I did my bar mitzvah the very next day, and the rest for me is history.

Lockhart made her name on TV as the mom to Timmy on "Lassie" and the mom to the three kids on "Lost in Space."

She was one of the first of the long line of TV moms that have entertained us through the decades, everyone from Lucy Ricardo to Peg Bundy.

But Lockhart did it on ground and in space--the settings for her two most memorable shows--which made her something special.

On "Lassie," she helped Timmy through all his struggles of growing up, living a somewhat simple life on a farm, and on "Lost in Space," she helped her kids grow up too, albeit on one orb after another.

Although she kind of had to dress down for both roles, Lockhart was really a very pretty woman, with a nice figure and perfect composure for both roles.

She knew she wasn't the star of each show, basically a supporting actor, first, to a dog, and second, to a robot, but she did her bit with a lot of panache.

Reed and Lockhart are parts of my childhood, stirring memories that will live with me forever. I salute them both on their birthdays, and wish them many, many more.

Rant 2,110: Love Is Like a Baseball Game

Amid the student protests, the Stormy Daniels nonsense, and a lot of boring political stuff, I prefer to stay clear of those today.

Quite frankly, I have said enough about these things in the past, but I can never say enough about our National Pastime.

So if you were expecting any political talk today, well, sorry to disappoint you, but once the baseball season begins, you know that warmer weather and the summer is coming.

And the Major League Baseball season begins this week, the earliest the season has ever started.

So this week, the 162 games in 180 days roller coaster ride also begins, and I am greatly looking forward to it.

Yes, to get there, several teams--including my favorite team, the New York Yankees-still have to play one more spring training game, but by the end of the week, all of that will be over and done with.

The 2018 season will have started, and all teams will have their eyes on one prize--the World Series championship.

The Yankees, and all the other teams, are going to have a very tough task ahead of them. They are going to have to get past the reigning World Series champions, the Houston Astros, a young, endearing team that is as deep in talent as the Grand Canyon is in open space.

The Yankees upped themselves another notch up the ladder by acquiring reigning National League Most Valuable Player Giancarlo Stanton, and paired with reigning American League Rookie of the Year Aaron Judge, Gary Sanchez and several other bangers, the Yankees might have a chance at setting home run records this season.

But will that be enough to upset the Astros' quest for back to back championships?

Right now, it's anyone's guess.

And that is the great thing about baseball.

At the beginning of every season, every team starts with the same 0-0 record, so every team has a chance to do something special during the long season.

Sure, the cream will rise to the top, and the better teams, barring injury, will be the ones closest to the finish line come September and October, but at the onset of the season, every team can dream of World Series glory.

Case in point was last year's Yankees team, which wasn't supposed to do very much but ended up being one win away from going into the World Series.

It can happen, and there are sure to be some out of left field team this season, too.

Along with that, the coming of the baseball season means that summer is right around the corner.

After all the nor'easters and snow we have had lately, the coming of the baseball season means that the backyard pool will make its return in due time, and I can smell the barbecue going strong too.

Long pants and long sleeves will give way to shorts and lighter wear, and before you know it, it will be vacation time, where we can all recharge our inner batteries.

The coming of the baseball season means so much more than simply the opening of the new season, and to me, it also means my birthday is right around the corner too, another yearly notch added onto my personal holster.

After a very rough year, the baseball season acts as sort of a balm, a soothing ointment to make me go on to something better for myself and my family.

I am sure my family and I will attend at least one game this season--ticket prices are another story for another time--but whatever the case, I will be glued in front of the television when the Yankees play at home or on the road, and it will be a relaxing and an exhilarating experience at the same time.

So here comes baseball 2018 style, and with all the stuff whirling around us as a country right now, the season comes at exactly the right time.

We truly need baseball right now.

Play ball!

Classic Rant #762 (June 12, 2012): Crazy From the Heat

It's hot outside.

To that we all agree.

But it's summer. It's supposed to be hot.

With temperatures reaching 90-plus degrees today in the northeast for the third straight day today, weathermen are calling what we are going through a heat wave.

But for all of those who are complaining about the heat, would you rather it be 20 degrees with snow?

Smart people know how to keep cool when it is so hot outside.

First of all, if you can't bear the heat, stay inside, in air conditioning.

If you must be outside, drink lots of fluids, and I don't mean beer and soda. Water is the right choice for a day like today, because it hydrates you and quenches your thirst and cools you down, all at the same time.

I learned a valuable lesson a few years back.

My family and I were at Yankee Stadium, and it was 97 degrees that day, which means on the field and in the stands, it was probably even hotter.

I thought I was hydrating myself by drinking my usual liquid of choice at the time, soda. But all I was doing was ramping up the heat for myself.

In the middle of the game, I felt sick and dizzy, and ran to the bathroom, where I proceeded to pass out.

My son called for help, and the Yankee Stadium security crew did a great job at getting me going again, spraying me with water, and getting my body temperature down.

They even allowed us to sit in one of the exclusive restaurants there so I could really cool down with the air conditioning in there.

I was better almost immediately, and later that week, they even called me to find out how I was doing.

Many years earlier, when I was a teenager, I passed out during a very hot day while riding my bicycle to a friend's house.

I was ready to cross a crowded intersection, and the next thing I know, I was on my back on the island in the middle of the street. To this day, I have no idea how I got there, but somebody must have dragged me over there, basically saving me from getting run over.

I am smarter now. Sure, I have a sugary stuff every now and again, but when we go to an outdoor event like a baseball game, I drink water.

The best thing about water is that unlike soda, I don't feel that I have to go to the bathroom every once in a while when drinking it, so I can concentrate on the game.

So to stay cool, drink water, stay in the air conditioning, and don't do anything too strenuous.

I'm not much for the heat, and the heat doesn't do much for me.

But you have to respect it, and you do that by respecting what your own body can and can't do when it is this hot. I learned my lesson and hopefully, I won't ever have a problem again with the heat.

Hopefully.

Rant #2,109: What's the Matter With Kids Today?

Nothing, nothing at all, as long as we leave them alone to be kids.

And that means we adults should butt out when it comes to our kids, let them find their own way, and let them be kids for as long as they can.

Of course, this is not reality; we are very important in our kids' lives, no matter if the kids are three or 30 years old, or even 61 years old, the age I will be turning in about five weeks.

My parents are still around, and I am still their kid, as is my sister, who is two and half years younger than I am.

Where is this Rant going?

It is going to kids twofold ... what I mean is that we will briefly look into today something we as Baby Boomers cherished as kids, and still love today, a kids' series that really stands up to the test of time, more than 70 years after the last and final episode of this series was new.

I often get to work early, and the door is not open yet for me to enter. When this situation happens, I simply sit in my car and relax, preparing for the long workday.

With nothing to do, I often use my phone for entertainment, and has there ever been a more entertaining series about kids being kids than the Our Gang/Little Rascals comedies?

These shorts, about 15 to 20 minutes long, were a staple on local TV in the 1950s and 1960s, and then, when we as a society became ultra-sensitive about certain things, pretty much faded from the air starting in the 1970s.

They found new life starting in the late 1980s, when home video became part of our lives, and now, just about every available episode can be streamed, uncut and free, at video sites like YouTube.

Created by Hal Roach, these comedies feature a motley crew of kids, a stereotypical bunch of street urchins--and some richer and middle class kids--from the streets of America in the early part of the 20th century to nearly the middle part of that century.

You had the skinny one, the fat one, the bully, the pretty one, the ugly one, the bossy one, the black one, and the white one ... and we can all relate to each of these kids, because they often resemble the group of kids we grew up with in our own lives.

The shorts reflect the beliefs of the time, and often came under fire for their portrayal of blacks. A lot of the stuff truly is incredible to see in this regard, but is done so innocently that you almost have to turn the other cheek on these portrayals, because the kids acting out these stereotypes--namely Farina, Stimey and Buckwheat--were often actually the smartest ones in the Gang, in their own way, in particular Stymie, who was always seemingly one up on the Gang even though he might not have shown it outwardly.

These three characters are among the bevy of young kid actors who we became enamored with in this series, including Chubby, Jackie, Spanky, Alfalfa, Darla, Scotty, Butch, Woim, Porky, and later, Mickey and Froggie.

Yes, each and every one of them was a stereotype, but we laughed along with the stereotypes, something that society frowns upon today.

Many people seem to forget that these shorts were originally made for theatrical showing, and when the world of television was emerging, their short format and subject matter was perfect for the new medium.

Kid show hosts, like Captain Jack McCarthy on New York's Channel 11, became huge stars themselves by featuring these shorts on their after-school shows, and Spanky and the rest of the Gang found a whole new audience years after the fact.

To be real about it, the Gang was a Hollywood creation, professional kid actors portraying neighborhood kids with scripts and situations written by adults, so it wasn't a kid-only enterprise.

But these shorts are generally so well done, and often so true to life, that even generations later, we can laugh at these shorts just as much as our parents and grandparents did when they were young.

So when I am early to work, I go on YouTube and watch one of these shorts. It not only brings me back to my childhood, but it also makes me laugh and feel good as I later walk into work.

The other day, I was watching "The Lucky Corner," one of the best of the shorts. You might remember that in this one, Cap's small lemonade stand is competing with a larger food and beverage establishment for customers.

When the owner of the larger stand complains that Cap's stand is giving him unwarranted competition, he is forced to move the stand and lose his customers.

Enter the Gang to get those customers back, and the 15 minutes that this short runs is packed with one gag after another showing the Gang at its best, with Spanky and Alfalfa leading the way, and with a particular focus on the early Buckwheat character, who we aren't sure if this character is a boy or a girl.

Rife with stereotypes and laughs--including a classic scene where the larger stand serves tainted lemonade to customers--the short is absolutely hilarious from beginning to end.

I must have seen this short 1,000 times, but I still laughed at it as if it was the first time I had ever seen it.

Not every one of these shorts is up to this quality, but so many of them are that you really can't go wrong in watching any of them.

So if you want to go back to another time and place in both your life and in the life of our country, watch these shorts.

They are so much fun ... and so funny.

The comedy is never punitive, and the laughs are plentiful.

I know that later today, I will almost certainly be watching one of these, and it is truly a highlight of my day!

Speak to you again on Monday. Have a good weekend.

Classic Rant #761 (June 21, 2012): Portrait of the Artist

LeRoy Neiman passed away yesterday at age 91.

Many of you probably recognize the name, but don't know much him.

He was a painter and a sketch artist, and probably, if you had asked him what he did for a living, that is probably what he would have told you.

But Neiman was a bit more complex than that.

Let's face it, I don't usually go over the careers of painters. But this guy was something well beyond that.

For decades, Neiman was most widely known as a sports artist.

Using quick strokes, he was able to capture movement, in a painting, which is something incredible in itself.

When you looked at a Neiman painting, of a Muhammad Ali, or of some other athlete, you really felt that you were seeing movement even though the picture was stationary.

He painted them all, from Ali to Namath to Jordan to Tiger Woods to numerous baseball players and Olympic athletes, will certainly outlive him. They are cherished pieces, commanding lots of money to own one.

You would often see him out at the ballfield, sitting in the stands, with his ubiquitous mustache jumping up and down as he sketched an athlete in motion.

He also was well known for the art he produced for Playboy magazine, but it is in sports that he really became most known for.

I can't write much more about him because, quite frankly, I am not one of those people who go to art galleries and marvel at what I see. I kind of find that a bit boring and, well, a bit snobby, too.

Heck, one of my art teachers in school, when I was about 11 or 12, actually told me that I had no artistic talent at all.

Based on that, you can say, "What do I know about art," and maybe I know very little, but I knew Neiman.

As a sports fan myself, I know that he was able to transfer the kinetic energy of sport onto a canvas better than anyone.

So in passing, Neiman's legacy will live on in his paintings, his etchings, and his sense of sport.

If you are unfamiliar with his works, check them out on the Internet.

I think you will be surprised, and quite pleased with what you find.

Rant #2,108: Snowbird

Well, we finally got it.

The fourth nor'easter that we have had in about the last month finally was the one that did some damage, and did it during the first full day of spring.

It hit late, but once it hit, it hit hard.

I would say that just looking out the window--I haven't gone out yet--we got at least a foot of snow, and I can't tell if it is still snowing. If it is, it is doing it some 20 hours after that snow hit us.

My TV hooked up to the satellite does not work--loss of signal--and just to keep up to date with what is going on, I hooked up my phone to an older HDTV that we occasionally use to watch things off the phone on a larger screen. It is working OK, but I can't get the picture to go to full screen, so I am basically watching my phone on TV, which I guess will have to pass for today.

I have to clean my car and my area so I can get a move on today to work, and I will do that once I finish this Rant and do a few other things.

And yes, we did get off from work early yesterday, at 12:30 p.m., which ended up being nice, because at that point, it really wasn't doing that much, maybe a light snow at best. Since there weren't too many cars on the road--just about all schools were closed--i was able to get home in good time.

My wife had already been let off from work, and my son has Wednesday off, so we were all cozily in the house when the snow really picked up later in the day.

So after a busy half work day--we crammed in as much work as we could in a short period of time--what did I do at home?

Not much.

I think I even took a very short nap sometime in the afternoon, which is better than taking a very short nap while at work.

I did watch one movie that I found on YouTube, another one of these mid to late 1960s grade-Z thrillers that I really enjoy, mainly to see how far the moviemakers could push the proverbial envelope when the censors still ruled what one could, and could not, show on screen.

The film I watched was 1966's "Aroused," directed by Anton Holden and starring such luminaries as Janine Lenon, Steve Hollister, Joanna Mills and Fleurette Carter.

The black and white film is about some loony that kills prostitutes, many of whom he meets in the bar that he works in as a bartender.

The women who work the bar are attracted to him, but he has some mommy/sexual issues, so he can't return the passion to them.

The murders begin, and a detective is assigned to the case. He works the bar, knows the girls, knows the bartender, but he can't piece all of the things together until he entrusts one of the prostitutes to assist him in trying to find out who the guy is who is doing the attacks.

The detective ends up having an affair with one of the prostitutes, but through this single encounter, the prostitute delivers more than sex to him, and he runs off to pursue the bartender/murderer, who he has unwittingly trusted to drive his wife home after his work interferes with a night out that he had planned with her.

I won't spoil what happens, but just let's say that Lorena Bobbit would be proud.

This low budget film was shot on the streets of Manhattan, so it shows the big city more than 50 years ago, and it is quite interesting to see the old venues and buildings that populated the city way back when.

And more than two years before moviedom could open up on the screen, this film shows plenty of nudity, even more suggestion, and lots of blood.

The story is interesting, but the acting is really bad and you know who the killer is almost right away.

It does hold up as a curiosity from a different time, and I would recommend it for those wanting to see the underside of films during this period, right before Hollywood was able to show just about anything and everything on the screen.

You can find it at https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?fr=yfp-t&p=aroused+movie+1966#id=2&vid=174428d3b39868417a5cc301ddfdb73c&action=click

So that is pretty much how I spent my half day off.

Now to the snow ...

Classic Rant #760 (June 20, 2012): Wrestling With My Thoughts

Happy summer, and good to be back after a day of tests on my eyes, which, I am happy to say, are doing quite well, thank you.

Now onto a pressing matter:

Professional wrestling.

No, I am not going to argue about the merits of professional wrestling. I can do that until I am blue in the face, and that's not from a choke hold being applied to my neck.

On Monday night, my son and I attended Monday Night RAW at the Nassau Coliseum on Long Island.

Whatever you want to say about professional wrestling, consider this:

RAW is approaching its 1,000th show.

That's right, more shows than "Gunsmoke," "Lassie," and even "The Simpsons."

I think "Meet the Press" has it beat by a lot, but 1,000 shows is a lot, especially when they are two to three hours in length each and many are live.

So we went, we saw, and we conquered.

WWE puts on a great show. This is the circus, basically, without the three rings.

In its place is what they call "the squared circle," and that is where most of the action takes place, although a lot happens outside the ring, too.

On this night, not only were most of the WWE's top wrestlers, including John Cena and Cain, in attendance, but in a nod to the past, Cindy Lauper, Wendy Richter and Rowdy Roddy Piper also appeared, basically to appear in one sketch to take the proceedings to a comical turn.

You might remember that in the mid 1980s, wrestling was still basically its own best kept secret. People had been flocking to wrestling matches for generations, but it wasn't yet mainstream.

Cindy Lauper came onto the music scene, an overnight sensation who had worked years before she hit the big time. "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" was her biggest hit, and she had a kind of tomboy/girl next door personality--with all the 1980s glitz thrown in--to make her very endearing through her music and her MTV-hot videos.

Someone got the extremely bright idea to mix rock and roll and wrestling, and Lauper was the leader of this brigade, eventually becoming the "manager" of Wendy Richter, who toppled the Fabulous Moolah and became champion. Moolah had held the women's title for eons, and Richter was tall, good looking and became a fan favorite.

Anyway, on Monday night, the WWE, through Roddy Piper, acknowledged the fact--and it really is one--that Lauper, Richter, and their alliance with the WWE moved professional wrestling into a loftier mode, helping make it mainstream and the global phenomenon it is today.

To make a long story short, Lauper leveled a current wrestler who showed no reverence for the past by hitting him over the head with one of her gold records that was in a glass plaque.

'Nuff said about that.

Anyway, the two-plus hours of wrestling moved at a brisk pace, and my son and I had a good time among the sold-out house.

Professional wrestling is a funny thing. You either love it or hate it, there really is no in between.

On this night, my son and I had lots of fun, as did seemingly everyone else who attended.

Professional wrestling has become a family thing, with more kids than adults in attendance.

As a bonding tool, you really can't knock it, and I don't. I take it for what it is--a chance for my 16 year old son and I to share something together--and leave it at that.

I leave the analysis to people who think they know a lot more than they actually do.

Rant #2,107: Every 1's a Winner

When is losing a good thing?

When you are one of the non-playoff-bound teams in the National Basketball Association and you are positioning your team for the college draft this summer.

It probably happens in all sports leagues, but it appears to be more evident in the NBA, where teams that are completely out of the running for a playoff spot appear to play at maybe 89-percent efficiency and actually try to lose games to get a better position in the college draft, where one player can make a lousy team into a great one.

The rumors about this have been going on for years, and case in point is the Philadelphia 76ers, who were horrid for several years amid rumors of not playing their best, always had good draft picks, and finally, this year, appear to be playoff bound.

Tanking is not good for anyone. It has to turn off the players, who are being paid big money as professional athletes to play their best each and every game. It has to turn off coaches, who are trying to teach and win at the same time, and who have to basically sit on their hands and buy into this philosophy. 

And it has to turn off the fans, who pay good money to see their team win, or at the very least, give some indication that they are trying to win.

Sitting out top players down the stretch with fake injuries, not playing your best players, and players and coaches showing little inclination to do their best are tell-tale factors that a team is tanking.

And when Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban basically tells his team, as he did a few weeks ago, that in the long run, they will be better off if they lose games rather than win them, you know that tanking is not a mirage in this league; it does happen, and it is a problem that has to be addressed.

There is a simple way to stop the alleged tanking in the NBA by the league’s worst teams as they jockey for position in the lottery.

Simply give the teams more chances based on wins, not on losses. In other words, if the New York Knicks end up 30-52 (they are currently 26-45), they get 30 ping pong balls in the lottery, one for each win they have. If the Brooklyn Nets’ record is 28-54 (currently 23-48), they get 28 balls, on down the line. That way, the more wins you have, the more chances you get to get the highest draft picks. That is the perfect way to stop the alleged tanking.

True, you want the teams with the worst records to have the biggest chance at landing the top picks. However, you also want a competitive atmosphere on the court.

All the teams that do not qualify for the playoffs are bad, and some are worse than others. But the “worse” factor should not be done purposely.

By utilizing this change in the system, I believe you will get both, and there won’t be any talk of tanking, because teams will want to win as many games as possible to have the best chance in the lottery.

And why is futility being rewarded anyway? Give the best of the worst the most chances.

And as for the draft positions of those teams making the playoffs, do it pretty much the same way, but make the playoffs even more important—use both the regular season records and the playoff records combined to determine draft position.

In other words, if the Golden State Warriors win 62 games during the regular season (currently 53-18), and let’s say, they repeat as champions, winning 16 games during the four rounds of the playoffs, their win total for the year would be 78, and let’s say the Milwaukee Bucks win 45 games during the regular season (currently 37-33), and 12 more during the playoffs, their total would be 57.

The Warriors would get the top draft choice among the playoff teams because not only did they win the most games combined during the season and playoffs, but they were the champions, too.

The only way that the top wins team in the regular season and playoffs combined would not get the next highest draft pick after the lottery teams is if that team did not win the championship. Championship-winning teams would always pick right after the lottery teams do.

So, let's say the Warriors play the Bucks in the championship round, meaning that each team won its first three playoff series, totaling 12 wins each. It comes down to the seventh and deciding game, meaning that each team has won a total of 15 games in the four rounds thus far. 

But somehow, the Bucks win the seventh and deciding game. The Warriors win total, 77, was the best in the league, but the Bucks won the championship, so even though their win total is 58, they are the champions, so they pick right after the lottery teams pick in the first round.

Success must be rewarded on all fronts, and I believe that this is the right way to run the NBA draft lottery.

Sure, teams trade away picks, teams get picks, there is a lot of maneuvering going on, but why reward a team that is the worst in the league with the very first pick in the draft, which, of course, with the current system, doesn't happen too many times anyway.

"Reward Success"--that should be the new slogan that the NBA uses for how they slot teams during the draft.

Honestly, it is bad enough that poor teams get high first round picks to begin with, but that aside, rewarding teams that really do try to do their best each and every night is the right way for the NBA to go.

Tanking is not fun for anybody, and this would make each and every game on the schedule--even for the bad teams--extremely important.

I mean, this is not brain surgery, but something has to be done so that teams don't lost almost on purpose, and using this method would make all 82 regular season games on the schedule almost like playoff games.

It is certainly better than the way they handle the draft now.

Classic Rant #759 (June 18, 2012): Bacon and ...

Burger King is now the third most popular hamburger fast food joint in the United States.

It recently fell from the number two spot, which it seemingly held for generations, and was replaced by Wendy's.

Of course, McDonald's is number one.

Anyway, back to Burger King.

Burger King generally appeals to a core audience of males from their mid-teens through their mid 20s, or people who think that they are still in that age group.

But falling to third place isn't to be tolerated by Burger King, no matter who their core audience is.

So Burger King brought in some new people into its fold, and tasked them with developing new and exciting offerings for their audience, and more importantly, for those who they hoped to interest in their menu offerings.

Expand the audience, and expand your profits.

So they've brought in some new salads, some new breakfast items, and some other things as they compete in the torrid fast food wars.

But there is one item that they brought in that is garnering all the publicity above anything else:

The Bacon Sundae.

Taking a page from higher, upscale restaurants offering this type of fare to guests, Burger King is offering diners a concoction of vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, and bacon as a new taste treat.

My son--who at 16 is in Burger King's prime demographic--wanted Burger King this Father's Day weekend, so I thought I would take the splurge, ordering this interesting sounding dessert and tasting it for myself.

I figured, I could only die once, since on the next day, we were having a group of people over for for our annual Father's Day barbecue (it was a good day, by the way), so if it was putrid, the taste wouldn't last too long--24 hours--maybe until I cranked up the grill and started cooking.

Well, I did, and here is my appraisal of it.

The ice cream is their usual soft serve, which reminds me of the old Mister Softee ice cream I had as a kid. It goes down real quick, and is kind of tasty without being utltra sweet.

The syrup plops to the bottom, so you don't get that taste until you have eaten a couple of spoon fulls of the ice cream. It is gooey, sweet, and mixed in with the ice cream, it is a pretty good sundae as it is.

But now for the fat of the matter ...

Burger King mixes in some small pieces of bacon into the ice cream, topped off with a larger, thicker piece of bacon which sticks out of the top of this concoction.

Eating the ice cream and the syrup with the bacon is kind of a weird experience. You get the sweet mixed with the salty and smokey, and that is kind of different, to say the least.

The problem is that the bacon really isn't that good of a piece of bacon, so the sweet kind of overrides the salty and smokey.

Basically, what you get is sweet mixed with chewy, and their bacon is very chewy.

The ice cream, which normally slides down your throat easily, has to wait a few seconds until you chew up the bacon.

This is nothing more than a novelty, and I will bet that a lot of people will initially buy it out of curiosity. But will they buy it again, and again, and again?

I seriously doubt it.

Burger King could have aced this if they used a better piece of bacon in the mix, something lighter, and maybe a little more tender.

What you have is a sundae that you have to chew, and that really isn't that good.

On a hot day, you want your sundae to go down easy. This sundae needs chewing to go down, so what is the point of having this on a hot summer day?

The point is simple, and it has nothing to do with taste.

Burger King has gotten an incredible amount of publicity about this dessert, a lot of free publicity because of its uniqueness.

You can't get this dessert in McDonald's, and you can't get it in Wendy's.

With the fast food wars always revving up during the summer, now Burger King has a game changer; people who might go to McDonald's or Wendy's might veer off to Burger King to try this concoction, so the curiosity factor will win out here, at least initially.

The problem is that it won't be sustained. Once the novelty wears off, people will bypass Burger King and go to the other places--but Burger King is counting on their other menu items to win over the populace, and this is just one element of their menu changeover.

Buy the sundae, and buy another menu offering, and maybe that menu offering will engage you enough that you will come in again.

I give them an A for effort, an A for uniqueness, but only a C for execution.

But you know, that might just be enough for Burger King to jump start their move ahead of Wendy's. They will never catch McDonald's, but Wendy's might be ripe for the catching. It probably is doable.

So here is to the Bacon Sundae, an idea we will be talking about in the years to come as a noble idea, but ultimately, nothing more.

But I hope Burger King and the other fast foods continue to think out of the box like this, and come up with menu items that make we want to try out their new fare.

I mean, how much more can you do with a hamburger than what you have already done?

Let me digest my thoughts, and I will speak to you again on Wednesday, as tomorrow, I have to go for another eye exam and will be out of pocket, so to speak.

See you again on Wednesday.

Rant #2,106: Bits and Pieces

I dodged a bullet yesterday.

I did not have to go to the dentist to get my teeth looked at.

As I reported yesterday, as the morning went on, the pain went away, and I was even able to eat on that side of my mouth without any discomfort.

I have had this problem before, and although this appeared to be the worst of the incidences, I am OK.

My eyes are bothering me today, but that will also go away by the time I leave for work.

So, without further ado, here is today's Bits and Pieces entry, looking at some stories that don't live up to getting a full Rant examination, but should be spoken about anyway.

Here goes ...

Cynthia Nixon Runs For Governor of New York State: Hey, why not?

With talk of Oprah Winfrey running for president, and with a former celebrity real estate magnate already in the top spot, why shouldn't a popular actress declare her candidacy for governor of the Empire State?

Look, she has absolutely nothing to lose by doing so ... other than the post she is running for, which she certainly will lose, and lose big.

Governor Andrew Cuomo, love him or hate him, is firmly ensconced in that job, and has been for a few terms.

The Cuomo name in New York State is a golden one, following the run of his father, who was extremely popular in the state during his multi-year reign as governor.

Nixon, like most openly gay candidates, is a one-issue candidate, whether she wants to be or not.

The only reason that this situation is getting the coverage that it is is that the former "Sex In the City" star is high profile.

She has as much of a chance as winning this post as I do.

The one hope that she has is that Cuomo runs for president, or more to the point, openly runs for president, because he has been running for that spot for probably the last four years, at least.

New York voters, and in particular New York City voters, are some of the most ignorant voters on the planet. They vote for those who they then complain fiercely about, like Michael Bloomberg and Bill deBlasio, forgetting that they were the ones to vote these people into office.

Nixon is keying a mix of Cuomo openly running for president and the ignorance shown in the past by New York voters to make a dent in the upcoming race.

Oh no, she won't admit to this, but anybody can see that without these two elements going her way, she doesn't stand a chance at winning this competitition.

No way, no how.

California Horror House Kids Move Into New Digs: Well, at least the older ones have.

Remember the family of 13 kids who were treated so poorly by their own parents that they were found shackled and nearly starving to death?

That story has kind of faded from view over the past month, when we have had to deal with other abuse of children--the Florida school shooting--but these kids made news yesterday.

It came out that seven of the kids have been moved to an undisclosed location to live their lives as normally has possible.

Since they were so sheltered by their parents--abused to the nth degree--they never knew the joys of being kids, like watching movies, eating ice cream, and just enjoying themselves.

The seven oldest are now getting that chance, and the descriptions of their current situation is eerie to me.

They have been described as wide-eyed innocents, charming in their naivete.

They love to watch movies on TV, and they speak about becoming doctors and nurses.

Of course, all the years of abuse that they endured is not mentioned.

What is their true mental capacity after being abused and deprived of good food, medication, and a healthy environment?

The descriptions make them into "simpletons." I don't know any other way to describe it, other than to say that they appear to be mentally "challenged."

So it is great that they are moving into society, but I will bet in the long run, the older children will be the ones most scarred from this lifestyle that they had, and while they might want to be doctors and nurses, the actuality of the whole thing is that most, if not all of them, will probably be wards of the state for the rest of their lives.

And with such a sick set of parents, and with an extended family that also seems a bit strange, I hope California does the first right thing it has done in their entire case and bar any relation of theirs from having even a brief encounter with any of them.

Today Is the First Day of Spring: My goodness, you wouldn't know it by the weather forecast.

We are supposed to get my neck of the woods' fourth nor'easter in the past month beginning today, and if it follows the pattern of these things, it will look pretty nasty outside for a while, and then pretty much burn off later on.

So it is almost the perfect storm ... here today, gone tomorrow.

February was the warmest February on record, and March has come in like a lion, and has proceeded as such, but then whatever it has brought us has pretty much fizzled out.

So as we move into spring, quite frankly, we have about a month more of possible snow horrors to go.

By about April 10 or so, the worry should be over.

April is the strangest month on the calendar. Besides being my birthday month--which makes it strange to me in a good way--it is a month where early on, we can get snow, and later, around my birthday, we can get 90 degree temperatures.

I have had it with snow. Let's get to those nice temperatures, leading into a really nice summer.

My Job Situation:

Speak to you again tomorrow. Maybe, just maybe, both my teeth and my eyes will be working right for the first time this week on that day.