Classic Rant #308 (August 10, 2010): Rod the Dad

I have never been a very big fan of Rod Stewart.

To me, he is the ultimate poseur, not so much singing songs as much as dragging the life out of them by everything he does beyond his gravely voiced singing--the calculated moves, the head movements, the stance, everything like that.

I guess I don't like his style.

But as a rock star, he has had a career that stretches back more than 40 years. And he is such a mainstream personality now, that all the rock star glitz is just about forgotten by those people who bought his cover version albums, which massacred terrific, classic songs yet sold millions.

In fact, if you look at them together, you would swear that Stewart and Barry Manilow are the same person.

Again, I never liked this guy as a performer. And as a man, he has littered the earth with kids by several different mothers--some he had relationships with, some he was married to ... all for a guy who has had his masculinity questioned since the early 1970s.

Well, now word comes out of his camp that he is to be a daddy again, this time with Penny Lancaster, who he has been married to for three years. This relationship previously produced a son, so Stewart will become a dad for the seventh time when he turns 66.

Shades of Anthony Quinn, when this kid becomes a teenager, Stewart will be 79 years old--not really that old in today's world, but let's face it, a 79 year old having a 13 year old son is akin to him being a grandfather to his own child.

Lancaster will be 40 when she becomes a mom again, so she isn't old by any standard, but as a mom, she kind of is, if you know what I mean.

Heck, what goes on between a man and a woman behind closed doors is their business, but I could never fathom having a kid at that age. Sure, it proves that Stewart is virile, but when this kid looks at his or her old man, he or she will really be looking at his or her old man, if you get my drift.

Older men having children at advanced ages is nothing new, and Stewart is one in the line of thousands of men who have children beyond the age of 65 each year. Yet, I somehow think he will be cheating his child of something. Stewart loves soccer, and do you think he will be virile enough to kick around the ball when his two year old wants to do that?

I am not knocking older men, or women for that matter. Heck, I am 53, so I am not going to dig into anyone older than me. But my wife and I had our son at age 38, and let me tell you, it isn't easy for even a 40 year old to keep up with a two year old. Imagine if you are 66 ...

Good luck to Stewart and his wife. And if it is a girl, please don't name the child Maggie May. Give it a sensible name, like Apple or Brooklyn.

But I bet there will be one refrain from the new parents, whether the child is a boy or a girl ...

I love you honey!