Classic Rant #303 (July 21, 2010: Tip Her … Gore

I had an interesting experience yesterday, one that I had not had before.

After work, I took my son and myself to the barber. This is another one of those things that I needed to do before we go on vacation, so I figured that yesterday was as good a time as any to get this done.

I go to a place with about 20 barbers working at once, and it is cheap, at $5 a haircut. I mean, with a bald head, I don't need to go to a stylist. My son's hair is intact, but he really doesn't have to go to a fancier place at this stage of the game, either.

Anyway, we walked into the shop, and they weren't busy, which is pretty unusual. I have seen it where they have 50 people waiting there and 20 barbers working. It can be a zoo there.

But not yesterday, so we walked in, and were taken immediately.

I got a woman barber. I have no problem with having a woman barber, and really, it isn't the novelty it was when I was a kid for me to get sheared by a lady.

As you can imagine, my bald head doesn't give the barber much to work with, so after about five minutes, I was done.

As I have been doing for ages, I gave the barber a tip. I think a dollar tip for a $5 haircut is acceptable, amounting to a 20-percent tip.

I happened to have four quarters, so I placed the tip in the barber's hand.

She immediately said to me, "Is that it?"

Well yes, it was, as far as I am concerned.

I turned to her as I was paying my bill, and said, "Is that it? You know, my father is a New York City cab driver, and when he gets tipped, no matter the amount, he says 'thank you.'"

I was also going to say that if she didn't want it, I would take it back ... and give her nothing.

She then denied making the comment, but I repeated to her that she did, and she knew that she did.

I don't think I will allow her to cut my hair again. I don't think I was being cheap, but the chutzpah this woman had was amazing. In all my years of going to get my hair cut, I never remember anyone saying something like that to me after being tipped.

I mean, it's not like I gave her a quarter for her five minutes of work. I gave her 20 percent of the bill ... and yes, if you were wondering, I gave my son's barber the same amount, and he said "thank you."

As you know, a tip is not a requirement when you get a haircut. You do it because you want to do it, and not because it is required.

I just don't get it.

I know that in the old days, barber shops and butcher shops were basically one and the same. Your barber was your butcher, so maybe your tip revolved around your head and a leg of lamb.

But nowadays, you just go to the barber to get your hair cut. That is it, not to argue with your barber about the amount of the tip you just gave them.

I swear, the next time anyone complains about a tip I have given them, I will report them to the manager at the establishment.

As the Cowardly Lion said in "The Wizard of Oz,"....

"The noive!"