Classic Rant #293 (July 7, 2010): Hooray For Lindsay, She’s Going Down

Actress Lindsay Lohan inherited some of the best traits of her parents.

She got her hair, her figure and her body from her mom.

She got her facial features from her dad.

Unfortunately for her, she also inherited their brains.

And in soccer language, what she got was NIL!

I am sure that you heard that Ms. Lohan received a 90-day sentence from a judge in a Los Angeles courtroom yesterday. It seems she violated her parole stemming back to a 2007 driving under the influence conviction that she had.

She cried in the court yesterday, "I have to work ... and my schedule is very different" from the one most people have.

Was she talking about her work schedule or her party schedule?

Let's focus on Lindsay's foibles.

She wore an ankle monitor to alert officials about her alcohol consumption, and it went off a number of times while she was partying on the other side of the globe.

She was instructed to attend a certain number of alcohol education classes, but attended many less than she was supposed to.

She was supposed to appear back in the U.S. weeks ago, but claimed that she did not have her passport; it was missing, and she even accused her dad of the theft.

The judge didn't buy any of this, and that's a good thing, even if Ms. Lohan doesn't know it yet.

Ms. Lohan comes from real "white trash with money" stock. Her mother, Dina, a former hoofer, recently had an altercation with a Carvel ice cream shop worker over a free ice cream cake that she thought she was supposed to get. However, Carvel's promotion gave her daughter the right to have a free cake, not the mother.

Her father, Michael. also has substance abuse issues, and he constantly claims that he is broke. However, he has plans for an elaborate second wedding, buys expensive cars, and still claims that he has no money.

Yes, the dysfunctional Lohan clan, Long Islanders like I am, have not learned to live in the world as we know it. They constantly think they are better than all of us, can constantly flaunt the law, and do as they please.

And they have pretty much gotten away with this behavior, until now.

With all their fame, fortune, and notoriety, the Lohans don't have something that most of us have: personal pride. They constantly blame others for their foibles, and not themselves.

The last straw appeared to be at yesterday's trial, and the judge--who also handed Ms. Lohan a 90-day sentence for alcohol rehab to run after her prison sentence--acted accordingly in the doling out of punishment to Lindsay.

Maybe now it will dawn on her, and her parents and family, that they are no better than anyone else.

She will be a prison inmate for 90 days, have a number, and be no better or worse than other incarcerated women in California.

It appears that their string of lies has finally ended.

The string has snapped, and afterward, maybe Lindsay and her family will understand that their lifestyle can't continue as it has played out over the past several years.

It would be a shame for a young person like Lindsay to fall down before she has a chance to really stand up for herself as someone in full possession of all her faculties, and maybe this time out of the spotlight will teach her that you have to fall all the way down before you can stand up.

Let's hope she, and her parents, get that part of this thing.