Classic Rant #80 (September 3, 2009): Phil Spector's Pleasant Valley Jail Day

I don't know if you heard about this, but when I did, I had to laugh.

Music legend and convicted murderer Phil Spector, who complained recently about his prison quarters but later said he wanted to stay where he was, is not getting his wish. He is being moved to make room for inmates requiring outpatient mental health treatment. Spector and other prisoners will be going to Pleasant Valley State Prison in Coalinga, Calif., where the other most notorious prisoner is Erik Menendez, convicted with his brother Lyle of murdering their millionaire parents in 1993.

No, I am not laughing about what Spector did, as he was recently convicted of murdering a woman he had a relationship with. That is certainly not a laughing matter.

What I am laughing about is the name of his new prison address: Pleasant Valley State Prison--is that a hoot or what? I didn't know the word "pleasant" and "prison" could be used in the same sentence.

Also, the name "Pleasant Valley Prison" brings to mind a hit song from Spector's era. In 1967, the Monkees had a huge hit with "Pleasant Valley Sunday," and although Spector had absolutely nothing to do with this tune — it was written by Carole King and Gerry Goffin--that tune could become a hit all over again if the lyrics were changed to reflect Spector's current situation.

So, aspiring singers take note--I want a cut of the profits you make off of this re-worded tune (and don't forget King and Goffin either):

Pleasant Valley Jail Day

The local chain gang down the street

Is trying hard to right their wrongs,

They serenade the prison guard

Who supervises them as they mow the lawn.

Another Pleasant Valley jail day,

Fires burning everywhere,

Rows of cells that are all the same,

And no one seems to care.

See Warden Gray, he's proud today

Because his prisoners are so doomed

And as for Phil, he's so serene,

He's got a toilet right in his room.

Another Pleasant Valley jail day,

Here in Status Symbol Land,

Prisoners complain about how hard life is,

And society just doesn't understand.

Creature comfort goals, they only numb their souls,

And make it hard for them to see.

Ahhh...thoughts all seem to stray

To places far away,

Phil says he needs a change of scenery.

Ta ta ta ta, ta ta ta ta... (etc.)

Another Pleasant Valley jail day,

Fires burning everywhere.

Another Pleasant Valley jail day,

Here in Status Symbol Land.

Another Pleasant Valley jail day,

(A Pleasant Valley jail day)

Another Pleasant Valley jail day,

(A Pleasant Valley jail day)

(fade out)