Rant #2,971: God Save the Queen

 

 
I send my sincere condolences to the British Royal Family on the death of the Queen, the monarch who ruled that land for more than seven decades.
 
She was 96 and had been in ill health for some time, although her death was kind of sudden.
 
With all of that, I have to say this, but I mean no harm in doing so.
 
For the life of me, I do not understand at all why so many Americans are so fascinated with the Royal Family.
 
And yes, it is mainly women who are fascinated with this group, as most men could care less.
 
I guess we guys just don’t get it.
 
I mean, the way I look at it, we could have had not only a queen, but also a king over here, but as the story goes, when our country was being created, George Washington did not want to be called “king,” he wanted to be called “president,” so that was the end of that.
 
As for Martha, I don’t know what her true feelings were, but she went along with her husband’s wishes, although behind closed doors, perhaps she fancied being called “queen” for all we know.
 
Anyway, so many of our female citizens are fascinated by the Royal Family, and it extends to today, to not just the recently deceased Queen, but to the current iterations of this family, whether it is Prince (soon King) Charles or Camilla or his two sons and Meghan, our own entry into the Royal Family who is not best known for wearing a crown, but for appearing on the TV show “Suits.”
 
Heck, her and her husband have themselves renounced being Royals, yet want to live like them, with all the trappings.
 
No wonder they live in California, the only state in the union where they can get away with that type of behavior.
 
And then we have Princess Diana, who completely fascinated our female populace—and yes, many males too—with her supposed grace and style.
 
She was marketed that way, at least, and when she simply could not handle her celebrity status and being probed every which way as a celebrity, her life was kind of taken from her by being a celebrity, and I mean that figuratively and literally.
 
When she came to her untimely death, how many of you ladies stayed up into the wee hours of the morning to watch her funeral?
 
C’mon, admit it, you did, or at least you had your husbands and boyfriends record it for you on your VCR.
 
I am not really knocking your fascination with Diana and the other Royals. I think I actually get it, but the reasoning I am going to present to you is so un-PC and un-woke that even though it is true, in this day and age, you almost can’t say it without getting lashed by those who won’t admit it is true.
 
Women want to be put on a pedestal for their beauty, their smarts, and the way they handle themselves, which I personally have no problem in doing.
 
But isn’t one of the great female fantasies to be swept off their feet as a real princess by a real prince, and being treated as such by the man of their dreams?
 
I do believe that that fantasy still exists today, and will always exist, and honestly, what is wrong with that?
 
And that is why American women are so fascinated by the Royals, because here are actual real-life women who actually fit that fill and live that life, such as Kate Middleton and that non-Royal living in California who doesn’t want to be a Royal, or so she says.
 
All of this doesn’t mean we can’t have a “queen” in our lives one way or the other, whether we are female or male.
 
One of the most popular rock bands to this day called themselves Queen. They were led by the late Freddie Mercury, and I wonder if his personal predilections led the band to call themselves what they did? They certainly were rock “royalty” when he was alive.
 
Then we have songs like “Queen of the House” and “Dancing Queen,” by Jody Miller and ABBA, respectively, so we can dance away our Royal fantasies simply by listening to these songs.
 
We also have Queen Latifa, the rapper/actress beating people up in the reboot of “The Equalizer” on TV each week.
 
And we once had an actress named Queenie Smith, who was a popular stage, screen and TV performer who didn’t use her fists, to my knowledge.
 
Heck, we even had a guy to join Freddie Mercury in this “queen” thing, as Mel Queen Jr. was  a MLB pitcher a couple of decades ago … I remember that for a pitcher, he was quite a hitter.
 
Whatever the case, I again send my condolences to the Royals at the passing of the Queen, but there is no way I am going to wake up early in the morning and watch her funeral, which you just know that the networks will most probably show on early morning television.
 
I need the shut-eye, so I will shut my eyes to this funeral.
 
Honestly, it would be a royal pain in the butt to get up to watch a funeral, any funeral, that early in the morning.
 
Have a good weekend, and I will speak to you again on Monday.