Rant #2,460: I Can't Stand Up For Falling Down

After months of getting absolutely nowhere with my job search, I felt that time was running out on me to find anything.

With my unemployment insurance nearing its end, and with absolutely no job prospects in sight, I decided to try to make it easier on myself, and I filed for retirement; early retirement, at age 63.

It is something that I absolutely, positively did not want to do, but the circumstances dictated it, so I did it, in spite of a voice in the back of my head telling me not to cave in just yet.

So I did it, and while that didn't mean that I stopped looking for proper, full-time work for myself--I still look each and every day and apply to jobs each and every day--it just took a little bit of the pressure off of me, because if I can't find anything, then at least I can pretty much dovetail into retirement.

I set my sights on a good, part-time job, and along with continuing to look for full-time work, I also started to search for part-time work too.

Unbeknownst to me, this did not lessen the pressure on me, it has only increased it, because, no matter what I do that seems to be right and correct, it all ends up being wrong.

In the entire 10-month nightmare that I have endured, I have a total of two face-to-face interviews and two phone interviews to show for my toil. Heck, I was even hired by the Long Island Ducks baseball team, but when the pandemic took care of their season, it shoved me to the curb, too.

But then suddenly out of the blue, I got a call from people who know me, know of my work during my nearly 24 years at my last job, and they were so encouraging that they wanted me that they made me feel good about myself and my talents once again.

They said they would get back to me, but it took about a month of waiting for that to happen, pretty much right before I was going to try and contact them.

I was referred to someone else, and a phone interview was set up, and I felt really good about myself and my decision to retire. It seemed to be a perfect fit, and I was looking forward to this interview like you look forward to your birthday.

(As an aside, I always felt it was so neat the way retirement was portrayed on the classic TV sitcom "Dennis the Menace," where the second Mr. Wilson was retired, but he had an income from being a freelance writer. As I grew older and I watched that show, I thought that that was where I would eventually be in my life, but, of course, I didn't think it would be at such a young age as I am today. Oh well ... .)

Anyway, I was looking forward to that interview, and then in the evening prior to the interview, I received an email saying it had to be postponed. That made me sad, but things happen, and we agreed on another interview date, and while I was upset--let's get this thing done already--I figured that maybe it would be worth the wait.

The interview date was set up for yesterday afternoon, and I was all prepared, with my pen and copy pad right by me, and just like I used to do when I was at work, I put all the particulars on the top of the page--the name of the person speaking to me, the time, the date, etc.--and I was ready to go.

Then late in the morning, my happiness was turned upside down again, as I received another email telling me that the interview needed to be rescheduled once again. I rescheduled it immediately, for Monday at 10 a.m., but the last time I looked, I had not received an email from the other side confirming our meeting.

Here is what I put up on Facebook yesterday afternoon:

"The first job interview of any kind thst I was scheduled to participate in this afternoon was once again postponed until next week.

It seems that I simply can't stand up for falling down.

Yes, I am a bit upset.

Running total: nearly 10 months out of work. And a grand total of two face to face interviews (pre-pandemic), where the job description was changed as I was being interviewed, and two phone interviews.

Again, this total was achieved during nearly 10 months, and after applying for more than 1,000 positions.

It appears that I have fallen and can't get up.

Yes, I have absolutely had it."

It is quite disheartening to be in this position, and then I read other posts--not in reply to mine, but elsewhere--basically calling those on unemployment "moochers" because we are happily taking the extra money that was provided to us and are sunning ourselves in the backyard, doing nothing to find another position.

I can't speak for other people, but let me tell you, in my case at least, the sunning in the backyard really hasn't happened.

I have given my all to the job search, have not been lazy about it in any way, shape or form, and I have tried everything--save throwing myself in the middle of the street to get noticed--to find suitable work, and even unsuitable work.

This has not been play time for me during the past nearly 10 months; maybe for others it has, but I have been struggling since Day One with this. Heck, even getting unemployment insurance was a hassle for me, because of a mistake made by the New York State Department of Labor more than 25 years ago.

I fought back at that, fought to find a job, and it has not gotten me anywhere.

And now, even though I believe I have done the right thing< i am back at square one, with nothing to show for my herculean efforts.

Heck, I, at least, deserved that extra money for what I have gone through.

Let's see if this phone interview ever materializes. I would put it at the same odds, 50-50, as the baseball season continuing through 60 games.

I often feel that I am at third base, with home plate just 90 feet away, but I simply never get a chance to score because those who should be getting me in are failing me.

Heck, at this point, I would love to cross home plate on a puny sacrifice fly, a wild pitch, a passed ball or on even an error.

Right now, home plate is just 90 feet away, but it might as well be 90 miles away the way that I am going ... .