Rant #2,449: Let It Happen

Yesterday was a very interesting day, a very good day, a day that I personally needed to rev myself up for what is to come.

First off, my son is fine, as we all knew he would be. Again, there was nothing wrong with the dental procedure he had, but there was everything wrong with the way the dental office went about it.

And no, they have not yet called me, which means that sometime today, I will be calling them, if for no other reason than to make sure that what my son went through does not ever happen again to anyone else involved with that practice.

Now, as for yesterday, it ended up being a fine, fine day. Let me tell you why.

First of all, I had my early morning doctor's appointment, which believe it or not, I wasn't stretching the truth about--it was at 7 a.m. in the morning.

It was at my dermatologist, a place I really don't like going to, but a place that I have to go to about every six months or so to make sure my skin is free of anything that shouldn't be there.

In the past, I have a few pre-cancerous lesions removed, and since there is already a history of skin cancer in my family--both my mother and father have had a few things removed, having nothing to do with excessive sun exposure or anything like that--I have to take care of myself in this regard.

Well yesterday, I was found to have nothing that was pre-cancerous on my skin, just a few places to look at and attend to. The doctor sprays that freeze spray--I don't know what it is actually called, but that is my description of it--and it stings and tingles a little bit when applied, but other than that, I have nothing to worry about, and the dermatologist does not have to see me for another six months.

With that out of the way, I proceeded with my day, looking for jobs to send my resume to, doing exercises, and ultimately, sitting down for lunch.

During my lunch break, out of the blue, I received a call from Social Security. They were doing a phone interview related to my application for early retirement, and the caller--a young lady who was very nice and who told me that she grew up right here on Long Island--went through a bevy of questions related to my application, even asking me about my substitute teaching experience nearly 40 years ago.

She made me laugh when she said that she looked over the list of places where I had taught, and "it seems you taught in every school system other than the one I went to school in," which she told me was East Meadow.

True, I never taught there, but off the top of my head, I did teach in places like Bellmore-Merrick, Rockville Center, Plainview, Island Trees, Wantagh, Central Islip, Valley Stream ... and I am probably missing a few Long Island communities that I probably just forgot about. I know I did a gig way out in Eastern Suffolk County--was it somewhere in the Hamptons, I just don't remember--but yes, I subbed all over the place when I was a young a hungry teacher way back when.

I only left the teaching field because it seems that once you are branded as a sub, you are sort of in a caste system, always looked at as a sub by students and your supposed peers and you can't escape that designation. I remember back when I taught in Rockville Center, this was brought up to me loud and clear by one particular teacher. Without going into the details, I let her have it back as hard as she went after me, and I hope that she learned a valuable lesson about how you treat a fellow teacher, but it probably went over her head--that is how dense this woman was.

Anyway, back to yesterday ...

So I spoke with the woman for about 10 or 15 minutes, and it appears that I have passed the test. My application was approved, she told me how much I would be getting each month from Social Security--about 40 percent of my last salary--and that my payments would begin in October, so there might be a long lag in when I am done with unemployment payments and I begin Social Security payments, so I have to be careful with my money, which I think I have been throughout this ordeal I have gone through for the past nine-plus months.

She also told me that since my son already receives Social Security because of his mental disability, with me going on Social Security, there is a possibility that his monthly payment can be slightly increased, and we set up another phone interview related to that in early August.

After the interview was completed, I hung up the phone, and I just felt so good, but it was sort of a bittersweet kind of good.

I felt that I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel I have been barely keeping my head above sea level in, and that maybe, just maybe, this nightmare I have been through is slowly coming to an end.

But on the other hand, I still think I am a viable worker, and I still haven't given up hope that a miracle is just around the corner.

Later in the day, I even told my 88 year old father--who was able to continue working way past his Social Security threshold and ended up retiring at 84 years of age--that I really believe I have at least 20 more years of work in me, just like he did at my age of 63--

But, realistically, it just doesn't appear to be in the cards for me.

Now that I am the proverbial 90 feel away from home plate, I still have a lot of fight in me, and I will continue to look for suitable work until unemployment is over for me, which could be next month--I have roughly five payments to go before I am done--or even further, if some type of unemployment plan related to the pandemic is enacted, which could happen soon, or could not happen at all, depending on who you listen to.

I have my completed novel, which I am still pushing to publishers. If no one wants to take a chance on it, I vow to self-publish it. How I am going to do that is anyone's guess at the moment, but let me continue to try to interest a legitimate publisher to give me a go--if you know someone in the publishing business, please let me know, because as with anything in life, it is more who you know than what you know that can get you ahead.

And as for me as a worker, I just don't know if I am done permanently or whether I can go on and get some work on the side. The woman told me that I can make up to a little more than $18,000 a year without upsetting my Social Security, so maybe I can get something on the side, although yes, I have already applied for such jobs, and it has turned up zero, of course.

Right now, I have clearly entered the "let it happen" stage of my life, and really, the world is my oyster, the world is a mere bag of shells, the world is mine for the taking, the world is ...

Nah, my situation still s----, but in a family blog, I won't say the word.

Fill in the blanks yourself.