Rant #2,441: Abra-Ca-Dabra!

Today I have a huge announcement, one that is probably only huge to me, but it bears worth further reading by you guys and gals too.

Yesterday, at long last, I filed for early retirement through Social Security.

Yes, I finally did it, after all these months--and years--of knowing that the time was approaching, and that this was my only out related to the job environment I found myself in, where supposedly "older" workers are simply not receiving the chances they deserve to further their careers.

And yes, it still is who you know, rather than what you know, when it comes to finding a job at the "advanced" age of 63 years old.

I had the July 1 date in mind for several months, to be honest with you, but I don't think I told too many people outside my family that that date would be my due date. No job then, after all these months and years of looking, then that was my expiration date, so to speak.

Yesterday afternoon, I went on the site, answered all the questions that needed to be answered, filled in all the information that was needed, and VOILA!, my application was accepted, and I now wait for my unemployment benefits to end and I can dovetail into Social Security retirement pretty easily.

I hope.

What with the coronavirus pandemic still ruining our lives and fouling up everything we do, I just hope that my application is processed how and when it should be, and that I don't have to wait for my benefits to begin any later than I have asked them to start.

As I said, I had envisioned July 1 as my job deadline, but if I had any wavering on that date, a couple of things pretty much told me to stay with my plans.

Yesterday, via email, I told a couple of people I know what I had done--including one person who is already retired and another who is newly unemployed--and this is what I told them:

"I just wanted you to be the first people to know that I officially filed for early retirement today.

Honestly, I really did not want to do it, but I had absolutely no recourse.

After applying for hundreds if not thousands of positions during the past six-plus years since I knew that the company I worked for was going down in flames, i decided to wave the white flag ... sort of.

I still have seven weeks to go on unemployment, so money is still coming into me through mid-August. I will continue to look for work during this period, but unless a miracle happens, i am officially done with my job search and hope of ever finding a full time position that suits my talents.

I guess your everyday writer/editor is not needed in today's workplace.

The last straws were 1) I totally cashed in my chips for any level of the types of jobs I would apply for by sending in my resume and clips for an adult site ... and P.S., they didn't even want me (no jokes), and 2) the seasonal.job with the Long Island Ducks baseball team went down the tubes when they cancelled their season yesterday. 

I mean, what is the sense at this point? I am a true victim of ageism in the workplace, but go prove it!

So that is where I am now, meaning still stuck at square one. I have tried to sell my novel, and one publisher kind of liked it but does not handle young adult titles, so he passed on it. I might continue to try, or maybe self publish it. Let's see what happens.

So here I am, still trying but being very realistic ... I have had enough, period. And I can't fight ageism, and the coronavirus, and everything else.

I don't like that I had to file early, but I had no choice."

Yes, life can be difficult, in particular when you know exactly why you are in the situation that you are in.

But here I am, it is slightly after 6 a.m. in the morning, and right after I finish this entry, I am going to continue to look for jobs, as my contract with the New York State Department of Labor says I must do as long as I am getting unemployment payments from them.

Nobody is checking me out anymore, because the pandemic closed the office that I had to report to. Nobody is looking over my shoulder to see that I am being righteous and doing what I am supposed to be doing.

But I trudge on, hoping for a miracle but knowing that others need a miracle more than I do, those that have absolutely no fallback option like I did, yet cannot find work.

I know a few people in this situation, and I do wonder where they will turn.

I also worry about my son, who continues to be on furlough. I want him to go back to work so badly, and he does too, but right now, it is not in the cards because of pandemic concerns.

Let's hope August is the time when he can suit up again. Right now, he needs a job much more than I do.

So as we go into the July 4 holiday weekend, I am kind of between a rock and a hard place.

I have filed for early retirement, but I am still looking for a miracle that probably is not going to happen.

I guess I did my patriotic duty by filing, because as an American citizen, what is the point of torturing myself in an environment that values things that I have absolutely no control over, things that have nothing to do with the work environment?

This remains the greatest country in the world, but as I told my wife the other day, this is not the world that my parents decided to bring me into in 1957. It has changed, and as far as I am concerned, it has changed for the worse.

So let me finish up this Rant, go about my everyday business, and maybe laugh a little, because I do believe that is what we need to do right now.

Laugh a little at life's foibles, laugh a little at ourselves, laugh a little at the condition of the human condition.

And along with that laugh, I am going to breathe a sigh of relief.

My quest is just about over, and I never reached the promised land, as I knew I wouldn't more than six years ago.

But I know I did everything I could do, so I can go to sleep at night knowing that it simply was not in the cards for me.

Sometimes you are dealt a bad hand, and I certainly was, that's for sure.

I am going to take tomorrow off from this column as per the July 4 holiday.

Stay safe, have a great holiday and great weekend, and I will speak to you again on Monday.

Free at last! I still don't know if I should be ecstatic, just happy, or just plain sad.

Give me some time to make that decision ... heck, I have the time now.