Rant #2,432: Color Him Father

Father's Day comes up this weekend, and it will certainly be like no Father's Day we have ever celebrated.

We will have get togethers, but they will be smaller and more intimate than ever before--more intimate as we socially distance ourselves from each other.

We will have barbecues, and in certain areas, we will be able to go to our favorite restaurants to honor the man of the house.

And in other circumstances, we will mourn those men who were our fathers, and are no longer with us.

I am super lucky. My father is still alive and well, lives at home, and we will be able to enjoy the day with him.

But what about the fathers that are still with us who we cannot celebrate the day with?

I am specifically talking about those fathers who are in nursing homes and veterans homes, and who have been secluded away for months because of the dangers of the coronavirus.

And yes, it is impacting my family.

My father-in-law resides in the Veterans Home in Stony Brook, Long Island, and we have not seen him since February.

The home, like many such venues, was completely devastated by the coming of the pandemic, and we have not been allowed to see him since it hit, and still cannot see him in person, because the regulations related to nursing home visitation have not yet been lifted by New York State Governor Cuomo.

Many residents of the home, and numerous workers there, were hit by the coronavirus, and these homes are thought to be literally petri dishes for the disease, hitting our most vulnerable citizens and those who care for them.

We have happily received word that my father-in-law was never infected by the virus, having been checked several times for it and always coming up negative, so that is good, but what is bad is that we have had virtually no contact with him for months.

He does not have a cellphone or a tablet at his disposal--my wife's family has tried to get him to use one or both, but he is not technically savvy and simply can't use these things without a lot of help--and there has been virtually no way to get in contact with him because of this.

One of my brother-in-laws works at Stony Brook Hospital, and he has been keeping tabs on his father, but whether he has actually had any contact with him is unknown to me. But we know he is healthy, at the very least.

But what do we do for Father's Day?

We have asked my wife's brother if he can find out if his father can be provided with a cellphone or more realistically, a tablet just for a few minutes, and perhaps we can set up a Zoom or FaceTime chat with him, with at least his two sons and my wife, his daughter, participating.

It would be nice to get his two grandchildren--my son and my nephew--in on this, too, and sure, I would love to be a part of it too, along with the spouses of his children and the spouse of my nephew, but at this point, we would settle for just his three children speaking to him.

And with various protocols in place, it isn't as easy as it might seem to get this done. We will wait and see what transpires, and I hope we might be able to meet with him via these social media devices this time around.

Actually seeing him in person? Who knows? It might be months before these types of facilities are cleared for visitors, and even when they are, you just know that there will be numerous protocols in place that will govern these meetings.

But that being said, it is Father's Day on Sunday, and I am sure we will all celebrate the day in the best way we know how.

My family is having a backyard barbecue, including my son, my wife, myself and my sister and her husband. One of my nephews may be there, and my daughter has not given a final decision yet on whether she will be there or not. She has told us via text messaging that she is a bit skittish being in groups right now, and I really cannot argue with her at this point, so it is her call.

It should be a fun day, but even with what we are doing, the current pandemic will stifle the usual hugging and kissing and hand shaking that we normally do when we get together, but so be it, at least for this year and the time being.

At least we will be together.

With that being said, what are the greatest "father" songs of all time?

I have made up my own list, and as you will see, some of the songs are quite congratulatory on the role that fathers have in our lives, and some, well, they simply are just the opposite.

But in one way or another, they celebrate "fatherdom" in their own ways, and their inclusion on this list was not only necessary, but mandatory.

So here goes my top 10 "fathers" songs, I guess you could say, "for better or worse":

Winstons - Color Him Father
Temptations - Papa Was a Rolling Stone
Shep and the Limelites - Daddy's Home
Madonna - Papa Don't Preach
Giorgio - Son of My Father
Cat Stevens - Matthew and Son
George Michael - Father Figure
Dusty Springfield - Son of a Preacher Man
Wayne Newton - Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast
Mike Douglas - The Men In My Little Girl's Life

These are in random order, although I think the top three that I have here are the top three "daddy" songs of them all, personally. The other ones you can mix and match, include or discard, and honestly, I don't really even like some of these songs, but they belong on at least a master "daddy" song list, at the very least.

So there you have it. It hasn't been easy for me being a father for the past 32 years, but I have managed to enjoy it, embrace it, and totally love it, even with all the pitfalls it has brought me.

And I am sure that every father would echo my sentiment 1,000 percent.

This is my final blog entry for the week. I have an important and very-early-in-the-day eye doctor appointment tomorrow, so I am going to take the day off from writing this column to attend to that appointment, which has been a year in the making.

So in my absence, have a great Father's Day and a great weekend, and I will speak to you again on Monday.

Winstons - Color Him Father (1969)
no rights granted; from the site Lyrics: https://www.lyrics.com/lyric/23360930/The+Winstons/Color+Him+Father

"There's a man at my house he's so big and strong
He goes to work each day, stays all day long
He comes home each night looking tired and beat
He sits down at the dinner table and has a bite to eat
Never a frown always a smile
When he says to me how's my child
I've been studying hard all day in school
Tryin' to understand the golden rule

Think I'll color this man father
I think I'll color him love
Said I'm gonna color him father
I think I'll color the man love, yes I will

He says education is the thing if you want to compete
Because without it son, life ain't very sweet
I love this man I don't know why
Except I'll need his strength till the day that I die
My mother loves him and I can tell
By the way she looks at him when he holds my little sister nell
I heard her say just the other day
That if it hadn't been for him she wouldn't have found her way
My real old man he got killed in the war
And she knows she and seven kids couldn't of got very far
She said she thought that she could never love again
And then there he stood with that big wide grin
He married my mother and he took us in
And now we belong to the man with that big wide grin

Think I'll color this man father
I think I'll color him love
Said I'm gonna color him father
I think I'll color the man love, yes I will"