Rant #2,344: Mirror, Mirror

Now that we are firmly in the Internet age, do you notice how many supposed celebrities use this medium as a self-promotion tool, keeping them completely in the public eye even when there is no reason to think of them in any capacity at all?

For some reason, numerous celebrity women have embraced the Internet in this way, and I have to say that their posts are consistently annoying, but also have-to-see diversions.

And no, we are not talking about the "Olive Oyls" of the celebrity world, we are talking about women who are eye candy, certainly for guys like me, but I suspect also for many women, but of course in not the same way.

Among those that use the Internet to their own advantage is the Kardashian clan. To this moment, I cannot figure out what the big deal about this obviously very dysfunctional family is, although I suspect that when you mix dysfunctionality with some type of beauty, this is what you come up with.

This family has made a multi-billion-dollar industry off of these things, so you almost can't argue with them, but what exactly do they do? Why is their very existence on this earth, and every move that they make, so very interesting?

I haven't the slightest idea, and again, if they looked like Olive Oyl, no one would care.

Then we have Alyssa Milano, another beautiful woman whose mouth is certainly equal to her ever expansive ego.

She had her fame in a few TV shows of yore, including "Who's the Boss" and "Charmed," but lately, she has made herself into the spokesman--or spokeswoman, if you will--for any movement that she feels in tune with, whether it be the sexual attacks on women movement, the anti-male movement, you name it, and she will have something to say about it ...

As if anyone really cares what this woman has to say about anything. And when you self-appoint yourself judge, jury and spokesman for anything, well, her opinion is worth less than yesterday's toilet paper, and again, nobody would care if she was an "Olive Oyl" type.

And then we have the true egoists, the ones who simply need to have their photos placed on the Internet to make them feel good about themselves, to validate their very existence on this earth for ... for well ... something, although I am not too sure what that is.

But because of their outer beauty, myself and millions of others tune into their posts very, very willingly.

We have Elizabeth Hurley as an example.

This actress, or supposed actress, or model, or whatever she is, never defined herself as either an actress or a model, and at age 53, she is kind of past what some would consider her prime years of stardom on the screen or as a modeling subject.

She knows that, and she knows that very well. She also knows that she is probably one of the most beautiful women in the world--or at least one that most of us know about--so she parades herself on the Internet every few weeks in bikinis just to show the world how good she looks in this type of bathing suit, even at her "advanced" age.

And even though we are embarrassed to do so, we all look into her posts, because we want to see just how good the headline blares that she looks in a bikini, even if she is 53 years old.

Look, we all do it, we all glare at this nonsense put up by the Khardashians, by Milano, and by Hurley. These women know that any publicity is good publicity, keeps them in the public eye, and makes them viable again as, well, Internet stars.

I am sure there are men in this category too, but funny, I can't pinpoint any, so I would say that this is a female phenomenon for the Internet age.

In the old days, publicists for such women would almost beg gossip columnists like Earl Wilson to include just a little mention of their clients, who were seen at whatever club, who were seen with whatever actress or actor, who were seen doing normal things that normal people do.

And I mean, any mention of these actresses in a column was worth its weight in gold in publicity and keeping the actress in the spotlight.

Today, the Internet is its own gossip columnist, and publicists simply have to have their clients say just about anything, or do just about anything, and you can bet it will turn up on the Internet for all of us to marvel at.

Let me tell you, even if we don't want to look, we do, and that goes for both men like me and women like some of you out there.

We just can't help ourselves, and I guess eye candy sweetens the mind, even for a moment, and that is what these ladies are really after.

They are after that moment, and yes, they get that moment each and every day.