Classic Rant #774 (July 11, 2012): Busted

The so-called "Buxom Bandit," who robbed a gas station in Australia while wearing an outfit that exposed her ample cleavage, has been caught.

I know that we were all sitting on pins and needles waiting for the latest update on this robber, but evidently, the authorities kept abreast of the situation and caught her.

Tonee Walker, the 22-year old bandit who caused a media sensation last week when video of her heist--and the accompanying boobage--was one of the top Internet trend setters for the week.

Evidently, according to news reports, things became too hot for the woman to be out on the lam, since her face--and other body parts--were exposed to the world.

So she did the only thing she could do, and turned herself in.

Also arrested was the getaway driver, who told police that he adjusted Walker's top before she entered the gas station because he wanted to give the middle-aged male cashier "something to look at."

Since her arrest, other photos have been posted online of Walker, and she is a rather fetching young lady.

However, she has an arrest record as full as her bustline, and now, she has been caught.

She is now in police custody until her next court date in late August.

The question remains: why did such a beautiful woman, who could easily be a Playboy centerfold or a model simply based on her looks, do such a stupid thing?

Well, as I said, she has a long arrest record, so this isn't the first time she has been on the wrong side of the law.

Also, would anybody really care if she actually looked like, say, Olive Oyl?

I don't think so.

Let's face it. Men--and women--are obsessed with female breasts, and add a star if the woman who has the ample cleavage is attractive.

And yes, this lady is both busty and beautiful, so the world--again, both men and women--are fascinated by this.

But back to the breast of the matter.

We, as a society, are obsessed with these virtues. Men like them, females like having them.

They signify power, womanhood, motherhood, everything that is good.

Women even go under the knife to get them just right.

Heck, I'm obsessed too. I am no different from anyone else.

So when you have a woman like this, with cleavage and beauty, who does such a stupid thing, and it's all caught on tape, and plastered all over the Internet, you just know that people will become fascinated with the whole thing.

She will probably be convicted of her crime, do her time, but if she's smart--which she doesn't appear to be--she might be able to parlay this when she gets out into a lucrative modeling career.

And you just know that people like Hugh Hefner and Larry Flynt are monitoring her case on a minute by minute basis. And you just know that they are searching around for photos of the young lady that were taken prior to the robbery, nude photos that they can buy up for a few dollars and put in their magazines as an exclusive.

And she's young enough that if they wait a few years, heck, they can take new shots of her for their magazines.

So no, don't cry for the "Buxom Bandit."

If she plays her cards right, she might not have to rob a gas station ever again ...

And the magazine that she appears in just might be in gas stations around the world.