Classic Rant #771 (July 6, 2012): Tidbits

Yesterday was really a bad day for me.

I woke up as I normally do for work, but I knew from the get go that I wasn't right.

My right eye was tearing something terrible, and it was affecting my entire right side. My back hurt, my nose was running like a faucet, but I tried to move on from it, hoping it would go away.

It didn't.

I actually went to work, but after an hour of problems, I decided that I wouldn't be able to work at all with me not being able to see very well and being sick like this.

Somehow, I was able to drive home with probably 50 percent of my vision. What was worse, the sun was shining in my eyes just about the entire way home.

I got home, went to the doctor, and he said that I had something called ocular something or other. The sum total was that somehow, I slept the night before with my eye not fully closed, and it dried up my eye, leading to it being bloodshot and tearing intensely.

He gave me some eye drops, and that was it.

I went home, slept away the day, and at about 9:30 p.m. last night, finally felt like myself.

I woke up today without any real problems, and everything appears to be hunky dory.

In the interim, a couple of things have happened on the landscape that I look at each day, so I figured I better get back on the horse and make some random comments about them.

Actor Andy Griffith Passes Away: Andy Griffith was a true American success story, a hayseed who transferred over that country charm to a career that spanned seven decades.

He took his country charm that he began to mind as a standup comic to the movies, with the high point being "A Face In the Crowd," one of the best movies ever, where he played a performer on the up and up who had more than getting to the top of the staircase on his mind.

But he really hit the goldmine on television. As Sheriff Andy Taylor of Mayberry, he became America's favorite law enforcement official on "The Andy Griffith Show," one of the greatest sitcomes ever.

It was one of the few shows where out and out jokes weren't told; the comedy came directly from the characters' personalities, and yes, there were lots of characters in Mayberry, from Floyd the Barber to Aunt Bea to Otis the town drunk to Barney Fife, Andy Taylor's cousin and fellow law enforcement official ... it goes on and on. Needless to say, the show had one of the great ensemble casts ever, making Frances Bavier, Don Knotts, Jim Nabors, George Lindsey and the like forever residents of that mythical town.

And the Andy Taylor character held everything together for eight solid seasons, finally passing the torch over to Ken Berry on "Mayberry R.F.D.," which kept the Mayberry flame burning for several more top-rated seasons.

After Griffith left Mayberry, he starred in a number of other shows and movies, never matching his popularity as Andy Taylor.

But then came "Matlock," and a whole new chapter of Griffith's career evolved. As an attorney, Griffith took a step up from his previous sheriff role. Although a lot of people--myself included--will always think of Griffith as Sheriff Andy Taylor, he developed a whole new audience as Matlock, and the show ran for many seasons on two different networks.

He had been ill for several years when he died of a heart attack earlier this week. My he R.I.P.

Buxom Bandit Stirs the Internet: Nobody has any idea about who this person is, but didn't she set of a flurry of excitement the other day?

Evidently, a blond bandit with a bust size to match her ego tried to rob an Australian service station of its cash the other day, but instead, she made many, many mistakes that will soon lead to her arrest.

Using her ample bustline in a low-cut top as something of a decoy, she didn't hide her face, picked up the cash and smeared her fingerprints with a gloveless hand, and her image was so clear that police say she is as good as nabbed, although I haven't seen a thing about her for the past few days.

Why she had to do this is anyone's guess--with her ample cleavage, she could have done so many other things to get money rather than rob a bank.

And when she gets out in 10-15 years, if she still maintains her figure, you just know that Playboy will be knockers ... er, knocking on her door.

Katie Holmes Set to Divorce Tom Cruise: Having been through one divorce myself, I hate to read about those things, but heck, this marriage seemed so phony to begin with.

Cruise has been married a couple of times previously, so you hoped for the best from number 3, but it didn't work out.

Rumors are that the Church of Scientology may have had a hand in this. Evidently, like what happened with his previous wives, Holmes tired of the reach that Scientology had over her, Cruise and their union, and she balked at going further with them and with him.

Other rumors persist about, let's say, Cruise's stance on love, but whatever the reason, as with any divorce, it is really between the man and the woman, and no one else.

And the coverage this is getting is starting to reach the ridiculous level; it's not as if someone really important is getting a divorce, is it?

And I am no better, giving this story a few paragraphs.

It doesn't really deserve even one.