Rant #2,134: Flashback

I had a really nice birthday on Saturday, April 28.

Let's get the presents out of the way ... I received some money from my parents, a book from my daughter about the Monkees, and some clothes--some nice shirts from my wife, and socks too--and from my son I also got some nice things, including an Aaron Judge T-shirt.

That T-shirt has been a bone of contention with me for nearly a year.

Last year, I went to a Yankees game with my son (my wife was sick), and I thought I bought an Aaron Judge T-shirt, along with a T-shirt with Didi Gregorious' name on it.

I went up to pay, pretty much at the same time as another shopper, and unbeknownst to me--and to the other shopper--our purchases were mixed up. What I got were two Didi shirts, and what they got was whatever they had purchased--probably a Didi shirt, hence the confusion--and my Judge shirt,

I did not know the switch was made until I got home that evening, but it kind of worked out OK, because my wife and son are Didi fans.

My birthday celebration actually began the evening before, on Friday, April 27.

I had set up with my group of childhood friends to meet in Manhattan at an Italian restaurant, which we did, forcing me to leave work a little early, which is always a blessing.

We met, had a great time, and when it came time to take care of the bill, the others paid for myself and another one of my friends, whose birthday is actually today (happy birthday, Stew).

So that was a surprise, one that came out of left field for sure.

And the Yankees continued their winning ways that night, so it was all good.

Anyway, during my birthday, I saw my son bowl in his league, and then we came home, and I finally decided to eat at an all you can eat Chinese place we have frequented in the past.

We met my daughter there, we had a good meal, and that was pretty much that.

We came home, watched a movie that I didn't like very much, and then watched the Yankees-Angels game, where I got the ultimate present, as the Yankees scored five runs in the first inning and then, five more in the second inning, en route to a 11-1 win.

I am sure they knew it was my birthday, and went all out because they knew that all I wanted to do was to go to bed happy, which I did.

I also answered a multitude of birthday greetings on Facebook--thanks to all for remembering me!

And then a day after my birthday, the Yankees won again, for nine straight wins, so the entire birthday weekend was a good one.

I know that many people don't like to celebrate their birthday. They feel they are one year older, one year closer to the grave, and they don't like that.

Well, I can tell you that I love to celebrate my birthday.

It is the one time during the year that I don't mind that the spotlight is on me; in fact, I love it!

I am not one to seek such stuff out, so the one time of year that it happens, I kind of like it.

The next such celebration up on my agenda is my daughter's birthday on May 15.

It will be a special one for her, as she turns 30 years old.

I cannot believe that I have been a father for 30 years, but yes, it is true, so there will be sort of a double celebration that day, a day that my personal world changed forever.

Gosh, me a dad? Me being 61?

Who would have ever thunk it?

Certainly not me!

Classic Rant #786 (August 7, 2012): My Little Town

Yes, that guy you have been reading about who supposedly faked his own drowning and turned up en route to Florida comes from my community on Long Island.

I don't know who he is ... he could live down the street from me, on the other side of the community, or wherever. I don't know the guy.

Funny, my community seems to have been constantly in the news since the 1990s. Ever since the Long Island Lolita story, which became a media event around the world, my little town has become known worldwide as Long Island's most notorious village.

And yes, I knew of Joey B., vaguely remember him in high school, and I remember his then wife, the one who got shot in the head by a deranged lunatic who later became a porn star, strolling around the local Toys R Us with an attendant in tow.

Heck, my little town's reputation as a place for "strange" people actually started decades earlier, when the world's first transsexual, Christine Jorgensen, came out in the 1950s as an oddity for the ages.

And in the 1960s, some of Andy Warhol's brigade came from my little town.

And off and on over the decades, notorious people--like church vixen Jessica Hahn--have called my little town home.

But back to the latest rub on my little town.

This fellow supposedly went into the ocean and never came back. His son reported him missing, and a search and rescue mission was launched, costing thousands of dollars, to find him.

Nobody was found, and the man was thought to be lost. His son called in the original message that his dad was lost, and called the insurance company to tell them about the situation.

But something was awry. The man had just increased his insurance policy, had just lost his job, and had put his house up for sale.

Of course, what unfolded soon after made this whole story what it was--a real fish story for the ages.

Just slightly later, the dad was picked up in South Carolina for speeding. Evidently, he was en route from this timeshare in Orlando--God help me if it is the same timeshare community that my wife and I have interests in--but he was trying to leave a bit too fast.

He was given a ticket, but he was not arrested, because, as the police spokesman from that state said, "It is not a crime to be missing."

All the while, this man was sending emails and other messages to his family.

His wife distanced herself from the whole thing, saying that she had been planning for a funeral when she learned her husband was alive.

The man contacted police, and said he was en route from the South to local police, where he would turn himself in.

He never did, and his whereabouts are uncertain at this moment in time.

In the meantime, the wife claimed that the whole thing was set up by the man's son, her stepson.

And police evidently believe her, as the son was subsequently charged with insurance fraud and filing a false report.

The son's girlfriend believes her boyfriend innocent, stating that he was the "fall guy" for an elaborate plot concocted by the father.

And the man still cannot be found.

What I don't understand is why when this thing got rotten, New York State did not put out a warrant for the man's arrest. In this case, when he was picked up for speeding in South Carolina, the police there could arrest him and have him sent back to New York for his punishment.

Why wasn't this done?

And another thing. The whole thing smelled fishy to me once I found out that the man was supposedly driving away from his timeshare in Orlando.

You just can't drive to your timeshare and expect to get a place to stay just like that. Timeshares in that area are at a premium, and you have to plan months ahead to secure your space.

Timeshares aren't hotels. Even if you have bought into a timeshare, you can't just drive up out of nowhere and expect accommodations.

This all told me that this plot was well planned, had been well planned for at least weeks if not months, and that more people than this particular person were involved.

I don't believe the wife knew about this plot--she sure puts up a good front, if nothing else--and she has hired her own attorney to represent her.

That doesn't put her completely out of the woods, but it casts some doubt on her knowledge of this situation, which is exactly what she wants to do.

The son is in a pickle, because the burden of proof will be on him to present a defense that he was as astonished as his stepmom was that his father was still alive.

And what of the missing man? Where is he? Has he committed suicide, or is he riding around the country, looking for a new hiding place?

Stay tuned, you just know there is more to this than meets the eye.

And you just know that the networks are salivating about this story. It sounds like good fodder for a TV movie.

And what of my little town? Will it survive another round of scrutiny once again.

Sure it will. This imbecile won't do any further damage to an area whose image has been scarred for decades.

But if I see another news truck driving through our streets, I'll scream ...

For mercy. Enough is enough.

Rant #2,133: Bless Me

Today is April 27, the last day leading up to my birthday tomorrow.

The calendar gave me a gift this year, as my 61st birthday falls on a Saturday, a day of rest, not a day I have to spend at the coal mine at work.

So let me reflect on my 61 years on this planet, but do it a day early.

I have to say that with all the negatives going on in my life now, I am a pretty lucky and fortunate person, and that is why the negatives get me down so much, I guess.

Anyway, first things first.

I have my health, which is a true blessing. Sure, I have aches and pains, I am overweight, and my allergies are bad (today too), but when you can get from Point A to Point B with relative ease, I guess that you really are OK.

I have my family, another true blessing. I have been blessed for nearly 25 years with the greatest wife one could have, and I have two relatively good kids, who give me agita but really don't give me any major problems, if you get my drift.

I have my parents, which makes me truly blessed. I am their kid, no matter what my age is, and my kids have two grandparents (my son actually is extremely blessed, as he has three grandparents), and you simply can't beat that.

I have a great extended family, which also is a blessing. My sister and her husband has given me three great nephews, my wife's family is as solid as can be--and I also have another great nephew on that side, too--and I have some others in my extended family--some of whom I have been close to since I came into this world and others who I have rediscovered on Facebook--who help to make my life whole.

After those three things, the blessings don't measure up, but at least I have them.

I have my job, which even though I knock it at every turn--and will continue to, when the situation calls for it--at least I have a place to go every weekday, and I bring home an honest paycheck. As I have said many times, I have been on the other side, and that is a place I don't want anything to do with.

I have my friends, and I do cherish the friendships I have made throughout my life. Sometimes friends come and go, but the friends I have now are of the long-term variety, and no matter what happens, my friends will stick by me like glue. They don't have to agree with me all the time, but they will be there.

I have my interests, which are pretty expansive but encapsulate three of my biggest go-to entities for relaxation, those being television, my love of baseball and basketball, and my record collection, in no particular order. I guess I could add in the very computer I am typing this on, which has added to the fun that I have with these diversions.

I have my backbone, which is really tied into all the things that I am blessed with. By backbone, I don't necessarily mean the actual, physical part of my body, but what I mean is my mind, spirit and beliefs. You can call me right, you can call me wrong, you can agree or disagree with me whenever you like, but I will defend what I say with a passion, so don't think you are going to say something that I disagree with and not get a reaction.

And last but certainly not least, I have my memory, which is really a trait that is often overlooked, but one that allows me to have my memories stored away in the recesses of my brain with the ability to pull them out at any turn. I remember things that are astonishing, and the clarity that I remember them with also is incredible. Memory is not one of the senses, but perhaps it should be. As I get older, my memories have become more acute, which isn't the way it is supposed to be, and it has gotten me in tangles with others, who either don't clearly remember things or simply don't agree with me. So be it, it is my "sixth sense," so to speak, and it is something I cherish. Heck, my first memory stretches back to when I was maybe a year and a half or two years old--being toilet trained and the death of George Reeves--and I remember both so clearly that you would think it all happened yesterday.

So yes, I am really, really blessed. I think my attributes come from lots of sources--really exceptional genes and my environment--and while I never was much of a physical athlete, my mind has always been active. It never rests, and I am always thinking of something. It is never dulled, and it is open to just about anything.

So as I celebrate my birthday, I look at all of these things that I have going for me and I tell myself time and time again that I will make it, I will survive, and I will prosper,

Things sometimes look bleak, but such is life--we all go through down times and great times.

This is my time, and I am not going to let anything stand in my way.

Have a good weekend and I will speak to you again on Monday.

Classic Rant #785 (August 6, 2012): Why I Don't Care About the Olympics

Perhaps you were wondering why I have not written a single, solitary word about the Olympics.

Perhaps not ... but I am going to break my silence now and tell you why the Olympics and I go together like oil and vinegar.

I don't like the Olympics.

I don't like the phony pomp and circumstance, and I certainly don't like the phony nationalism that the U.S. demonstrates during the overlong process.

We become European during the Olympics, and frankly, I am not interested in athletes that throw the flag over themselves.

I don't like the fact that we have professional athletes competing, but let's face it, our hand was forced on that one.

And that leads me to the next thing.

I hate how phony people get during the Olympics.

All of a sudden, we care about sports like archery and swimming, events that we normally couldn't give a hoot about.

Sure, we know that Michael Phelps won all those medals, but even three months from now, will we care that so and so won a match in an international swimming competition apart from the Olympics?

Probably not, and we won't care about track and field, and volleyball, and the like after the Olympics is over and done with.

I also don't like the Olympic history that some people choose to conveniently forget.

Let's take the 1972 Olympics, probably the last time I really cared about this two-week sleep inducer.

Forty years ago, the U.S. basketball team lost the Gold medal to the Russians in a championship game that was so rigged that even a 15-year old kid like me back then could see it.

The Russians got three--count them, three--chances to win this game, and of course, they did, even after the U.S. team had won the game twice.

This error was never rectified, and there has been a movement to get Gold medals for the U.S. team to this day, that is how idiotically that game went.

And more importantly, 40 years ago, members of the Israeli team were murdered for just one reason: they were Jewish.

Extremists interrupted the games when they took members of the Israeli team hostage, and murdered them one by one, 11 murders in total.

ABC Sportscaster Jim McKay and his team kept us riveted to the television in describing the details, probably the highest point in American television journalism history.

You simply could not leave the television as the details leaked out.

But 40 years later, the International Olympic Committee refuses to acknowledge this event, and would not have a moment of silence for the murdered athletes during the current Olympiad.

This was a heinous, cowardly act, and the IOC, which has been accused of blatant anti-Semitism in years past, lived up to those charges once again this year.

So, in a nutshell, I congratulate the athletes for their skills, but I don't really care about the Olympics.

My sports direction during the summer is baseball, and baseball it is this summer.

The Olympics? Old fashioned, out of date, anti-Semitic, having little or nothing to do with sports, and I won't spend any more time giving my reasons for ignoring this Olympiad.

I think I have made my case.

Rant #2,132: Oh Carol

Today is April 26, the 116th day of 2018.

If 2018 was a leap year, it would be the 117th day, but let's not push it now, 116 is fine with me.

This has been a difficult year for myself and my family as it is, and tacking another day onto it certainly wouldn't help matters.

Today is a day like any other day, and really, nothing stands out in history on this day, except for one thing.

On April 26, 1933, someone was born who really made a name for herself in the entertainment world, and who continues to be looked at as among the top television personalities of this day, and any day, really since the late 1950s.

In 1933, Carol Burnett was born, and since she broke onto the scene, we have laughed, laughed and laughed some more at her on screen antics.

She was born in San Antonio, Texas, and by all accounts, had a rough childhood. Her parents were both alcoholics, could not care for her, and eventually divorced.

She was raised by her grandmother, and went with her to California, living in squalid apartment in the Hollywood area.

She went to Hollywood High School, graduated, and then went to UCLA to pursue a degree in journalism. One thing led to another, and she found that even though she was very insecure, she had found a home on stage. She performed in several student productions, and she loved it and the audience loved her.

She was so good at it that she and her than boyfriend decided that they wanted to go to New York to try to break into musical comedy on Broadway. The legend goes that a mysterious benefactor--who did not want his name revealed--gave each of them enough money to relocate, under this one rule: that the loan be paid back in five years and that his name never be revealed.

So Burnett moved to the East Coast, and after a few years of show business rejection, she started to get minor work on television shows, including game shows, and her big break(s) came in 1959, when two major life-changing experiences happened to her: she was cast on Broadway in "Once Upon a Mattress," and then became a regular on "The Garry Moore Show."

Not only was Burnett nominated for a Tony Award for her Broadway show, but she became television's breakout star on the Moore show, completely upstaging the show's star. She was the typical clown, able to fit into any situation she was in, and like most clowns, the fun was found in her facial movements.

She became America's girl next door, and one who could make you laugh and laugh and laugh again.

When that gig ended after three years, Burnett had become such a prominent TV personality that seemingly everything she touched turned to gold, including specials that she was in with numerous show business luminaries, including Julie Andrews.

She won a couple of Emmy Awards prior to her catapult to stardom on her own show, but that show didn't begin until until 1967, part of a deal she had with CBS, which had signed her to a long-term contract during the waning days of the Moore show.

Not knowing what to do with her, she was cast as a female soldier on "Gomer Pyle, USMC," and became very good friends with star Jim Nabors, to the point that each season of her own show, he was always the first episode's guest star.

After casting Burnett in a couple of failed pilots, CBS finally gave her her own variety show--it was in her contract that CBS had to give her a show of her liking whatever that may be, as it was up to her to decide what she wanted to do--and in September 1967, "The Carol Burnett Show" debuted, and pretty much the rest is history.

The show and its regular cast--Harvey Korman, Lyle Waggoner, Vicki Lawrence (supposedly, she was cast because she looked like a younger version of Burnett herself), and later Tim Conway--entranced viewers with their aplomb in just about any comedic situation imaginable, and the show pretty much defined sketch comedy during its run, featuring outrageous situations, with costumes to match.

During the show's run, it won several Emmy Awards in numerous categories, and with the mentorship of Lucille Ball, Burnett kind of became Lucy's successor as TV's top comedienne.

And it also made the ear pull part of TV history. She did it during her show to let her grandmother know that she was OK.

And she is the answer to an interesting trivia question: who was the first celebrity to appear on an episode of "Sesame Street?" Yes, it was her, during the show's first season in 1969.

She continued to perform in specials with other show business luminaries, and when the show ended in 1978, Burnett pursued movies, starring in a number of big screen films including "Pete 'N Tille."

Burnett made numerous attempts at a new variety show, but they all failed, and later, she actually went dramatic in the film "Friendly Fire" for a change of pace role.

Her career has seen her featured in several soap operas, game shows, and cartoons, she has written several books about her show biz days, and she is supposedly supposed to be a featured player, at age 85, in a new sitcom on ABC that has currently been shelved and is going through retooling.

Burnett has been married three times, had three children--losing one to drug addiction--and supposedly remains very close with Vicki Lawrence, who she herself mentored on the show, with one sketch, "Mama's Family"--being spun-off from the original "Carol Burnett Show" into a popular entity of its own.

What you have just read is pretty much a thumbnail sketch of Burnett. It would truly be impossible here to capture all the imagination that she has given us since the late 1950s to the present time.

So happy 85th birthday to Carol Burnett, a real, live TV icon who remains in the hearts and minds of TV viewers everywhere.

Let's all pull our own ears today to honor her!

Classic Rant #784 (August 3, 2012): The End of the 1950s

On Sunday, Aug. 5, an anniversary will be celebrated that I think a lot of people would like to forget.

More than anything else, I think they want to forget it because it signaled the end of an era, the real end of the 1950s for most of us who were around then.

On Aug. 5, 1962, Marilyn Monroe died.

Her death has been under focus for the past 50 years. Did she kill herself? Was she murdered because she knew intimate details of the Kennedy family? Was she a pawn in a power struggle between the White House and others?

No one knows, and probably no one will ever know the real truth about her passing.

And maybe that's the way it should be. It makes her aura even brighter.

She was the sex symbol to end all sex symbols. Sure, there were pinup girls before her and after her, but Marilyn Monroe set the standard.

Even today, she is looked to as the ultimate sex symbol.

She had the looks, the body, the demeanor, and she knew how to carry this thing off.

It isn't as easy as it looks, but she played it to the hilt, both professionally and in her very public private life.

She married one of America's greatest sports heroes and later one of its top playwrights.

Neither marriage lasted, but she went from one extreme to the other with a magnitude not seen before or since.

Yes, she had numerous personal problems, which were played out in the press of the 1950s and early 1960s to the hilt.

But she signified a different time. When you think of the 1950s, she comes to the fore like not even Elvis or Eisenhower does.

And the questions about her life--and death--continue to be spoken about, all these years after her demise.

On this day in 1962, I was barely three months removed from my fifth birthday. My family and I lived in a small apartment in Kew Gardens Hills, New York, and I shared my room with my little sister, who was just two years old at the time.

The morning of that day in August, I was playing with my Kenner Give-A-Show Projector, which was a pretty high-tech toy for its time. All that it was was a set of film strips that you pushed with your finger through a projector, which was more like a flashlight than a real projector. You pushed the film strips through the projector, and you could put the images anywhere.

I was projecting whatever the images were on the wall of my room, which was dark. I am sure my mom was feeding my sister at the time in the kitchen.

The radio was on as it always was back then. I don't know what New York station it was on, but it was on, and I heard it pretty well, even though I was in my room. It was a small apartment and the sound reverberated from one end of the apartment to the other.

Suddenly, the radio announcer came on the air and said something like, "We have reports out of California that movie star Marilyn Monroe has been found dead in her apartment. We don't have much more on this right now, but I repeat, movie star Marilyn Monroe has been found dead ... ."

I heard this news, and I shivered and shook. I stopped playing with my Kenner Give-A-Show Projector. I turned on the light, and I was sad, sad all over.

What did this five year old know about Marilyn Monroe?

My dad was a great fan of Monroe. He thought she was the greatest thing to happen to humanity since sliced bread. He often spoke about her in glowing terms.

So I knew the name. I probably hadn't seen any of her movies at the time, probably really didn't know who she was, but my father often spoke about her so positively that I knew that this was a negative.

And it scared me.

Since then, I've seen probably all her movies, and I understand why my dad--and so many other men, and lots of women--really loved this woman during her heyday.

She was blond, busty, beautiful and brassy, and she was the exact opposite of the 1950s, or what we thought the 1950s were--bleak, bland and boring.

When she sashayed across the screen--with her breasts the first things we saw when she entered every scene, done purposely by Monroe--we were seeing both a vixen and a wounded bird at the same time. She knew it and we knew it.

She posed in Playboy in the magazine's very first centerfold. Certainly, she set a standard that all those who have followed her have tried to reach.

Sure, there were other manufactured sex symbols at that time that wowed us--certainly Jayne Mansfield and Mamie Van Doren had their way with us--but Marilyn was the best of the bunch. Like the other ladies, she knew what she was doing, and she did it well.

Unlike the others, she did it with a panache that few sex symbols could only approach.

So on the 50th anniversary of her death, I would rather look at her life--confused and confident at the very same time.

Her death was really the end of the 1950s, even though it happened in 1962.

That innocence was gone for good, and JFK's untimely death a year later really closed the book on the innocence of a different time in our history.

Marilyn Monroe was more than a sex symbol; she was the 1950s encapsulated from the bleach blond hair on her head to her toes.

Little did we know what the 1960s would bring, and how sad is it that she only dipped her toe in the water of the tumultuous decade?

Rant #2,131: Love Loves To Love Love

Rather than talk about the latest royal birth--something that I really, truly cannot understand the fascination about shown in this country--I am going to talk about something that I truly love: what I had for breakfast this morning.

With my allergies absolutely killing me--I am currently typing this with probably 1.5 eye capacity, but both my eyes are truly bad this morning--my morning was made slightly better by having a bagel with a glass of milk to start off my day.

I normally have cereal, but this past weekend, prior to standing in the line for Record Store Day, I decided to buy a dozen bagels at my local bagel store. I ate two of them while standing on the line, and it made the wait that much shorter.

So for the past several days, I have been eating all different types of bagels in the morning for breakfast, everything from poppy to sesame seed to egg to everything.

This morning I had a poppy seed bagel with butter. I prefer bagels with cream cheese, but we ran out yesterday, when I had an egg-onion bagel.

Tomorrow, it will be a bagel with white fish salad.

My family likes bagels, too, and my soon particularly enjoys them, and he has had one or two,

My wife stays away from them because they are fattening as all heck.

But I like bagels every once in a while, and I guess that that "once in a while" is right now.

Jewish immigrants to this country brought the bagel with them from Poland during the late 1800s and early 1900s, and pretty much through the early to mid 1960s, bagels were purely New York-based delicacies, rarely venturing out of the area where so many of these immigrants came to this new land.

Shops were generally owned by Jews, and you usually could find at least one bagel shop in every Jewish community in New York City, and in the surrounding neighborhoods of the city.

Then, in the early to mid 1970s, the fame of bagels started to spread like wildfire to other areas, as bagged, mass produced bagels, as well as frozen, mass-produced bagels, began to enter many supermarkets.

Although not nearly as good as a newly made bagel from s local bagel store--mass produced and frozen bagels are steamed, rather then boiled, so they are spongier and have less taste--these frozen bagels were, for many people, their first introduction to this long-time Jewish delicacy.

Bagel shops began popping up in just about every community--Jewish and non-Jewish--and if you wanted a bagel, you could get one in just about any neighborhood, from coast to coast.

Today, bagels are as American as pizza is, an ethnic food that is as commonplace as apple pie is.

But New York bagels continue to taste better than those made elsewhere. Like pizza, it probably has to do with the water in New York City, which mixes with the other bagel ingredients to give New York bagels a fuller taste then their counterparts elsewhere.

Whatever the case, today, everyone knows what a bagel is across the country, and whether you have it with a "shmear" of lox or with cream cheese or even plain, bagels delight the taste buds like few other foods do.

And with their popularity came a rise in price. I remember when you could get a bagel with cream cheese for maybe around a dollar or less. A dozen bagels might cost $3 or $4.

On Saturday, I bought a dozen bagels for $14, which surprised the heck out of me!

But once I started to eat the bagel--perfectly created, with a soft top and crunchy bottom--the pain of the price kind of went away, and I am going to get several breakfasts out of this batch, so the price is kind of in the rear view mirror now.

I remember a time when few people out of the New York City area knew what a bagel was, and now it is as commonplace for breakfast as cereal is.

But honestly, there is nothing like a well-made, fresh bagel.

If you haven't had one in a while--or ever--it's time to get to your local bagel store.

Skip the mass produced and frozen ones--get the real thing.

You won't be sorry!

Classic Rant #783 (August 2, 2018): Happy Birthday Eddie ... Err, Butch

Today is Butch Patrick's 59th birthday.

And if you don't know who Butch Patrick is, well, shame on you.

Butch Patrick is an icon to many baby boomers simply because of the two years he spent as the star of one of the most popular TV shows ever.

Patrick was Eddie Wolfgang Munster, the son of Herman and Lillie, on CBS's "The Munsters" TV show. Although he wasn't the first choice for this role, Patrick made the role his own, so much so that I doubt many people actually knew what he really looked like without all the makeup as a kid.

Eddie was the offspring of a Frankenstein monster and a vampire-like creatures, but the show taught us one thing: never judge a book by its cover.

The Munsters were one big happy family, no different from your family or your next door neighbor's family. They had hopes and dreams and goals, just like everyone else.

The difference was the way they looked--even cousin Marilyn looked odd in her own eyes.

And then there was Grandpa, the grandfather that everyone wanted, even if he was a little odd.

The show was actually a goof on creators Joe Connelly and Bob Mosher's previous "Leave It To Beaver," where the Cleavers were your typical All-American family.

The Munsters were too, just coming in odd packaging.

And Eddie was the next generation, carrying his "Wolfie" doll and feeding Spot, the family's pet dinosaur.

But Eddie was like every other boy his age, and was very like I was at that age.

He was shy, unconfident; he loved sports, including baseball, football and basketball; and his father was his hero.

And his favorite rock act was the Standells.

There was nothing different about Eddie, except the skin that he was in.

And I think that show taught us a lot about judging people from the outside rather than judging them from the inside.

Patrick appeared on numerous other shows, including H.R. Pufnstuf and a memorable guest appearance on "The Monkees" where he played a spoiled kid who was taught the meaning of Christmas by the Pre-Fab Four.

But Patrick will always be remembered for being Eddie, and even though he is 59 today, I guess he will always be Eddie to us.

So happy birthday, Butch. May you feed Spot for many, many more years.

Rant #2,130: Shop Around

OK, let me try for the perfect segueway from yesterday's Rant.

Here goes ...

When I bought those great releases on Record Store Day, the cashier put them in a plastic bag, which I then carried to my car and sped away into the dead of the day.

How's that?

Let me explain.

If the record store was about two miles further east, I would not have been able to do that.

As it is, the record store I made my purchases at is located in Nassau County. There are no plastic bag laws in the county.

Two miles east, in Suffolk County, there are bag laws, where plastic bags are prohibited. Supermarkets, and yes, record stores and other such retail venues cannot provide plastic bags to customers. You have to bring your own reusable bag, or some other bag, to bag groceries throughout the county, unless paper bags are available.

This law has been on the county books for several months, and since my family kind of lives near the border of Nassau and Suffolk counties, we kind of straddle the law.

When we shop in Nassau, no problem, we can get whatever bags that we want.

When we overstep that boundary and shop in Suffolk County, we are out of luck--no plastic bags without a 5 cents per bag charge, and more often then not, no paper bags either.

This is an environmental issue, because loose plastic bags evidently clog up the ecosystem, clog up our waterways, and are not safe to wildlife.

While other nearby municipalities in New York have talked about their own plastic bag ban, very few have done what Suffolk County has done. The supermarkets don't like it, and neither do a lot of taxpayers like you and I.

Personally, I don't really care ... as long as I have a paper bag to bag the stuff I have purchased, that is fine with me, but as I said earlier, many retail venues in Suffolk County do not give you a choice; it's either bring your own bag or no bag at all, because they don't provide paper bags.

I heave heard that King Kullen does provide paper bags, but Target does not.

Anyway, what this is leading up to is that New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo is proposing a statewide ban on plastic bags, so if this goes through, not only won't we be able to get these bags in Suffolk County, but also in Nassau County, New York City, Ulster County, Putnam County ... anywhere in New York State.

Again, I personally have no problem with this at all, but I would like Gov. Cuomo to include in the law that an alternative must be provided, such as making paper bags available.

Paper bags are more expensive than plastic bags, so that is why many Suffolk County venues don't offer them to customers, and the stores say that offering them would drive up the cost of the items that you are buying, so it is a lose-lose situation in offering them to customers.

Plastic bags are not the panacea of ease as many advocates say they are. They only hold so many items, and they are often so thin that they rip and tear easily. And they aren't great environmentally.

Paper bags are sturdier, more expensive for stores to stock, but they are better for the environment.

So there is no perfect solution to the problem, because studies have shown that the reusable bags are no solution to the problem, either. Constant reuse cause germs to be stored in these bags, and people can actually get sick from them if not regularly cleaned or replaced.

So there really is no perfect bag out there; all that I am asking is to give me a choice at what conveyance I am going to use.

And no, five cents per plastic bag is not a solution that works for me, in particular since I usually double bag groceries.

How about a used box? Maybe that is the ultimate solution, but go find one, or several, if you are going to be doing a bigger shopping.

For now, I will continue to make larger purchases in Nassau County, because there is no way I am going to pay what amounts to a penalty for using plastic bags in a county just a mile from where I live.

And you can bag that.

Paper anyone?

Classic Rant #782 (August 1, 2012): Video Killed the Video Star

Today is the 31st anniversary of the launch of Music Television, better known as MTV.

Some people rue this day, others celebrate it.

I lean towards the former, but I understand its significance in music--and television--history.

Prior to 1981, many pop acts filmed videos. Actually, music videos probably date from the 1930s, when big bands filmed performances that were often played in movie theaters as part of the schedule of a cartoon, a short feature, and a major film.

In the early rock era, through the foresight of dad Ozzie Nelson, Ricky Nelson built his reputation on filmed music scenes that were inserted into the "Ozzie and Harriet" TV show. And let's not forget David Seville and the Chipmunks, where cartoon scenes with music were part of their weekly TV show.

Anyway, moving into the rock era, videos--often called romps--were also filmed, especially by acts that wanted to spread their music to other shores. Thus, British acts often filmed their romps to entice American audiences, and American bands often filmed their romps to entice European audiences.

Even the Beatles made these types of videos, and they continued to make them when they stopped touring in 1966. Many were shown on "The Ed Sullivan Show."

1966 was an important year for what became known as the music video.

Although other acts built their reputations on their regular TV work--Including Paul Revere and the Raiders on "Where the Action Is"--it wasn't until the Monkees came on the scene during that year that the power of television to create music stars was fully envisioned, and based on their success, fully accomplished.

Heavily influenced by the Beatles' "A Hard Day's Night" film, each weekly show featured at least one or two songs interspersed into the storyline, and some were actual music videos that purportedly showed the foursome playing their instruments and singing. Others were just interspersed as part of the storyline.

This phenomena lasted about two and a half years, but the Monkees' TV show set the groundwork for such acts as Bobby Sherman and the Partridge Family to emerge and sell millions of records through their TV shows into the early 1970s.

Michael Nesmith, who was at ground zero of the emergence of rock music videos as a member of the Monkees, took his knowledge and talent and created something called Pop Flicks, which was a very late Friday evening/very early Saturday morning show that showcased rock videos of the time (mid to late 1970s) from such acts as Adam Ant, Doug and the Slugs and Nesmith himself.

Viacom liked what they saw, and thought that a cable channel showing these videos--and nothing but these videos--would be a hit. They made Nesmith an offer to head what became MTV, but he declined, selling them the idea only.

And in 1981 on this day, "Video Killed the Radio Star" by the Buggles was the start of an incredible run.

MTV made stars of everyone from Pat Benatar to Blondie to the Police to Weird Al Yankovic, but it also ruffled a lot of feathers along the way.

Suddenly, style became much more important than substance, and videos that looked good, but didn't feature good music, were making stars out of acts that really needed a bit more seasoning.

And then, there was the racist cries from some, asking why MTV only played acts that were white. Of course, in the early days, it was programmed as a rock station, and thus, not too many current acts of the day geared to the black audience were playing rock.

Of course, once they were permitted to re-format the station, acts like Michael Jackson and Prince really revolutionized videos and what pop music was back then.

MTV became so big that it was making the music stars of the 1980s and 1990s, not radio anymore. Not since the days of the Monkees had this happened, and yes, MTV made huge stars of the Monkees again in 1986 by replaying their old shows.

But music was changing, and MTV had to change too. Since the mid to late 1990s, MTV--and its group of sister stations--have had less of an influence on pop music, simply because these stations have lessened their airplay of rock videos. Viewers became bored of the format, and today, while videos are played mainly on MTV's sister stations, it is not a necessity that an act have a video on heavy rotation to become stars anymore.

Pop music is so scattered today that I doubt that most people could name today's No. 1 in the country. People don't buy physical disks anymore, they download files with music that they like. Music charts are really a thing of the past, not meaning very much.

And some would say that MTV holds little value today too, what with its slate of reality shows like "Jersey Shore."

But while it was new and hot, it changed music, some say for the worse.

People often date modern music by MTV's launch, often forgetting that without acts like Chuck Berry and Little Richard, there would be no MTV and no rock music to speak of.

Most rock music from the 1960s through the 1970s is dismissed, not even part of the conversation when talking about top acts, top songs, etc.

As MTV moves through its 30s, it will be interesting to see what it comes up with next as a new generation of kids gravitate toward its programming.

Rant #2,129: Wait For the Music

This past Saturday's Record Store Day was a good one.

I came into the store not looking for anything in particular, came out with a few things that I was happy to find, and then went on my merry way.

The store that I went to wasn't opening until 9 a.m., but I was there at about 7:30 a.m., and as the first one to arrive, I started the line waiting to get into the store that reached to about 50 people at its longest.

The store had early admission, for a $5 payment that went directly to an animal charity. The store was also donating a percentage of its profits on the day to this charity, so it was all good.

There were people of all different ages on the line, and the time went fast, as we spoke amongst each other about our collections, what we were there to buy, and what we felt about current music, movies and television offerings (the consensus: there is talent out there, but we aren't seeing it in any of these genres).

Anyway, the door opened, and the store allowed four people to go in, followed by four more, and it went on like that until 10 a.m., by which time I had returned home with my Record Store Day booty.

I found some interesting things, led off by a re-release of one of Lulu's 1970 albums, "Heaven and Earth and the Stars," which includes two tracks produced by David Bowie, "The Man Who Sold the World" and "Watch That Man." The album also includes Lulu's James Bond song, "The Man With the Golden Gun." and this new package also comes with a bonus 45 RPM single featuring the two Bowie songs, which, by the way, she does a great job with.

I also bought an Eric Burdon and the Animals repackage entitled "Nights In San Francisco," which pretty much is a 14-track overview of the best of the Animals when Burdon's name was put out in front of that name. The LP includes "San Franciscan Nights," "When I Was Young," and an interview with Burdon.

Other Record Store Day releases that I purchased included new singles featuring Jimi Hendrix, Question Mark and the Mysterians, and my very first Led Zeppelin record. Of Led Zep, I have never been a fan of this act--I much preferred their precursor, the Yardbirds--but the single looked intriguing. so I took a chance on it.

I also bought some real oldies singles and LPs, too, including releases by the 5th Dimension, the Buckinghams, the Lovin' Spoonful, Roy Orbison, Peter, Paul and Mary, Procol Harum and Bobby "Boris" Pickett, as well as a few soundtrack LPs from the 1960s and "Long Lonesome Highway" by Michael Parks, an album I had been looking for for some time.

After less than 45 minutes, I was done, exited and saw that there was still a long line waiting to get in. It ended up being totally worth it that I got there early, because everything I bought was basically the only copy of the record that I saw there, and if I had come later, this stuff almost certainly would have been gone.

Record Store Day was fun, and now, I have to find the time to digitize all of this stuff, put it on a thumb drive, and listen to it in my car. I have already done this for the entire Lulu album, and over the next few weeks, I will certainly do it to the rest of the stuff I bought on this sunny Saturday.

It's all good, all fun, and the next big record store day on the calendar is Black Friday in late November, so that gives me roughly seven months to prepare for that day ...

Or plenty of time to listen to what I bought this time around.

Classic Rant #781 (July 31, 2012): Pierce Arrowed

In three months, minors in New York State will need their parents' consent if they decide that they want to pierce their belly buttons, their eyebrows, their cheeks, their tongues, or wherever else they want to put holes into on their bodies.

Gov. Andrew Cuomo, in one of the few good and smart things he's done since he was elected to that office--in my opinion--signed into law yesterday a measure that prohibits anyone younger than 18 years of age from getting a piercing without patental consent. The law takes effect in 90 days, so youngsters have until the end of October to get piercings done without mom and dad knowing about it.

Cuomo said in a statement: "Body piercing can result in severe health risks and it is our obligation as New Yorkers and parents to make sure that our teens are taking every precaution to remain healthy and safe." He said studies show that about 20 percent of all piercings result in infection.

State law already requires someone to be at least 18 before they get a tattoo.

A customer's identification must be checked by piercing studios, and if the person is underage, teens must provide a consent form, signed by a parent or guardian in the presence of the studio owner or piercing studio employee.

With the law, New York became the 32nd state to mandate that minors get their parents' approval before getting a body piercing.

And no, the law does not apply to ear piercing.

I don't get body piercing, and I don't get tattoos, so I have to applaud the new law.

Kids don't think when they do these things to themselves--not only don't they think about the possibility of infection, they don't think of the future.

Would you hire someone with visible piercings and rampant tattoos all of their body? Not if I was an upstanding business. I can see these people working in tattoo parlors, but where else would such body art be tolerated?

And I don't know about you, but I find these garish gestures absolutely disgusting.

And yes, I have family members who have pierced themselves full of holes. They aren't bad people, but you are giving people another reason to judge you by displaying these things like they do.

When I see someone with tattoos and with rampant body piercing, yes, I immediately judge the person. It may not be right, but you are basically waving yourself in the wind when you do this to yourself.

And is this attractive?

No, I personally don't think so.

Being a Jew, we are not supposed to do this to ourselves--we are supposed to go to the grave the same way we came into the world--but this has really nothing to do with my feelings about body art.

Jew or not a Jew, I don't find these things attractive, I find them disgusting.

And kids, who want to show the world who they are, who want to stand out from others, are getting tattoos and piercings before they even leave high school--and go out into the world to really try to make a name for themselves.

Sorry, if I were an employer, and I saw all of this elaborate body art, you could be the best person for the job, but I would write you off immediately.

It is simply not professional to look like this.

Yes, I know society's attitudes are changing, but they aren't changing that much, at least not yet.

So kids, hold off on doing this to yourself.

If you feel you must have it done, now, at least in some states, you are going to have to wait.

And if waiting is the hardest part, so be it. Maybe something will flame up in your brain to change your mind while you wait this thing out.

Rant #2,128: Music Everywhere

Tomorrow is Record Store Day.

Please frequent your local record stores; I am sure you will be surprised at what you find there.

Today, to give you a taste of what you might find in these stores, I am going to let you in on some of my recent purchases.

They might not be your cup of tea, but they are to me. And I don't even drink tea, or coffee, for that matter.

And don't forget, tomorrow, there will be a plethora of new releases special for Record Store Day that will be available, so sure, you will find records like I am going to post now, but you are also going to find a heck of a lot of other stuff that you didn't even know existed before the special day.

Anyway, here are a couple of my recent purchases, with some notes after each one.

Lulu-Best of Both Worlds/Love Loves To Love Love (1967, #32): I have been a fan of this lady since seeing her at the old Palisades Amusement Park in New Jersey, way back before "To Sir With Love" hit in America, and my fascination with her continues to this day.

Although a big star in Europe, over here, she has had a spotty recording career. Her records have been good, but somehow, although she has placed nearly a dozen hits on the singles chart, she hasn't had anything to rival "To Sir With Love."

This single was a really good try, allowing her to show her vocal chops to the maximum effect.

Unfortunately, it really is a song that "shoulda coulda" been a big hit, but fell short ... and I like the B side, too.

5th Dimension-Go Where You Wanna Go/Too Poor To Die (1967, #16): And talk about being enamored with female singers ...

Marilyn McCoo and Florence LaRue, the ladies in the 5th Dimension, have always been among my favorite female singers, and this record was the act's first big hit. It resembled what the Mamas and Papas were putting out at the time, but had more "soul" to it, to be honest with you.

More, even better singles were to follow for them, but this was their very first, laying the groundwork for the rest. And again, the B side is quite good, too.

Spanky and Our Gang-Sunday Mornin'/Echoes (1968, #30): Featuring Elaine "Spanky" McFarlane, I always liked the quirkiness of this act, guys who looked like they were too old to rock and roll led by a lady who was not atypical for female personalities of the day, as let's say she wasn't Twiggy by any stretch of the imagination.

But she had a fantastic voice, and that propels one of their quirkiest singles, another one of those tunes that really should have been a bigger hit than it was.

The B side is quite interesting too. It is actually called "Echoes," but on the sleeve it says "Echos Of My Mind," but upon further listening, the song is best known as "Everybody's Talkin'," Nilsson's big hit that was on the soundtrack to "Midnight Cowboy."

Five Americans-Western Union (LP) (1967, #121): Although thought of as a one-hit wonder for "Western Union," which is on this album, this act charted a half dozen songs over a two-year chart span, including "Sound of Love," which is also on this album.

Very slight, very bubblegummy, and very good. I really like this record, and I am glad that I now have it as part of my collection.

B-52's-Love Shack (12-in. single) (1989): Remember when extended versions of the hits of the day were the rage? Well, here is one of those records that turned up during this period, featuring a song that had different permutations and whose actual single version reached the No. 3 spot.

If Spanky and Our Gang were quirky, then the B-52's were their stepchildren, because this male/female act were outrageous in appearance and stage presence.

This tune was probably their biggest hit, and one of the great earworms of the ages; and with several different versions on one record, you really can't get the tune out of your head.

Tarney/Spencer Band-Run For You Life (Promo) (1979): Yes, I bought this on a lark, because it is so odd looking, a record included in a rectangular folder, promoting the then-latest offering of this Australian band that never made it in the States.

The record features only excerpts of a few tunes from the "Run For Your Life" LP, pretty much standard pop rock of the time, including a cover of the Knickerbockers' "Lies" that really rots.

But the presentation of this promo is what grabbed me ... you can be sure you will find so many other weird things like this when you visit your local record store!

So there you have it, some of my recent record finds representing some of the things you will find in your own local record stores.

And again, since Record Store Day has become a huge worldwide phenomenon, there will be plenty more special things that your local shop will be offering tomorrow.

Even if you haven't been in such a store in eons, go visit one tomorrow ... I promise that you will be surprised with what you find there.

Speak to you again next week. Have a great weekend.

Classic Rant #780 (July 30, 2012): The Long Of It

I know that everyone is excited about the Presidential race right now.

Yawn.

But some spice has been put into the race.

Porn star Ron Jeremy, picked by one outlet has the greatest porn star of all time, has let it leak out that he is voting for President Obama this time around in November.

However, he doesn't dislike the presumptive Republican nominee, Mitt Romney.

Here is what he told the Boston Herald:

“I think he means well, I think he’s a good man,” Jeremy said.

“I think the fact that he’s such an amazing father proves a lot. I give him a lot of credit. He’s raised some good sons. When a man is a really, really good father, that’s very important,” said Ron, a lifelong bachelor. “It’s a good race.”

I am sure that many people will base their vote on people like Jeremy, a guy who was a former New York City school teacher and who has made thousands of porn flicks. 

Based on his profession, he should know the long--and the short--of it.

And Jeremy is a man you can trust. He gave every ounce of energy--and lots of other things--to all of his performances.

And let's not forget that he has been in numerous "legit" films too, like "10," so he is an "Actor" with a capital "A."

If people can base their votes and political leanings on other actors, like George Clooney, why can't Ron Jeremy and his beliefs be used to the same degree.

They probably belong to the same actors' union, so Jeremy's political leanings carry as much weight as Clooney's.

Maybe Jeremy should, himself, run for President. 

I am sure he will get many votes from people who feel let down by both our President and Romney.

Perhaps he can call his party the "Adult" Party, or the "Fun" Party, or something else that illustrates his background in a tasteful way.

I doubt his campaign would go bust, and I bet he would hit his target, or money shot, on the amount of votes he expected.

Heck, the Republican vice presidential nominee hasn't even been named yet ... although Jeremy is evidently going Democrat, maybe he could be persuaded to change his mind as the VP nominee of the Republicans.

Gimme some skin on that!

Nah, it won't happen, but I am glad Jeremy decided to stick his ... thoughts into the race.

Rant #2,127: Simply the Best

Bruno Sammartino died earlier this week. He was 82 years old.

Even if you are not a fan of professional wrestling, you probably know who Bruno was.

He was probably the greatest professional wrestler ever, and his success and popularity certainly helped pave the way for professional wrestling to be the mainstream, global phenomenon it is today.

He virtually carried professional wrestling on his very broad back during the late 1950s through the mid 1970s, and even through all the catcalls and finger pointing related to a "sport" that was considered questionable, everyone knew that he was the real deal.

His WWWF (predecessor to WWE) championship reign of nearly eight years (May 1963 to January 1971) will never be equaled, and he was the headliner on cards at Madison Square Garden that were total sellouts--187 of them (so Billy Joel does have a ways to go to equal Bruno!).

Anyway, that is all I am going to talk about related to his statistics. I am now going to talk about Bruno (he was never Sammartino to me, or to any of his fans) from my own unique perspective.

I got into professional wrestling when I was about eight or nine years old. My friend, Howie, actually had probably the first TV I ever saw with UHF capacity, and in those early years, we would watch wrestling together up in his room or wherever the TV was, and it came in--barely--on the Spanish TV stations that had popped up in the New York City area in the early to mid 1960s.

So looking at the very grainy picture with no lights on in the room--that was the only way to see the images--we watched hours and hours of pro wrestling together. We would even act out the moves, and one time, I fell on Howie's parents' end table and scratched my ear, with the blood cascading out, just like on the wrestling show we were watching.

Howie told me that his mom still has the washcloth she used to try to get the bleeding to stop, and yes, it was tainted red with my blood still ingrained in it!

Anyway, during those early years, Bruno was the star attraction on the shows that we watched. There simply was no one like him in pro wrestling back then, and he was a living and breathing icon in the sport.

He was truly the Babe Ruth of professional wrestling.

Born in Abruzzi, Italy, Bruno came here as a young man, settled in Pittsburgh, and became enamored with body builders and those who worked out incessantly, and the simple story goes that one day, he was approached by a promoter who saw the young man's physique and thought he would be perfect for professional wrestling.

He originally turned the man down, but one thing led to another, and he became a pro wrestler.

Back then, Gorgeous George was pretty much the main attraction, but his reign was short. Once Bruno stepped into the ring, promoters knew that he was the real deal.

And during his career, I would say that he was the only wrestler to be considered "legit" by the public. He became a celebrity, was on mainstream television--like "The Tonight Show"--and pretty much everyone knew who he was.

I saw him in Madison Square Garden live a few times, and he was an incredible athlete. And the crowd, including the fabled hat pin lady, loved him.

He was a working class guy, like most of the crowd. He was a legal immigrant who made it good, someone who loved his adopted country. He personified the American Dream back then.

He gave his heart and soul and body to professional wrestling, and probably broke every bone in his body doing so.

And when it came time for him to move over for other wrestlers to pick up where he left off, he did so, allowing the next generation of athletes--including Hulk Hogan--to take over the perch he was on for so many years.

He became an announcer, and supposedly had some type of falling out with WWE owner and CEO Vince McMahon, a rift that took decades to heal.

He had pretty much faded from the public eye in recent years, but when that rift was healed, the WWE heralded him by naming Bruno to its Hall of Fame.

Bruno came back, made a wonderful speech, and that was pretty much that. He faded from view again for the past several years, but his named popped up again when he passed away.

And the tributes came pouring in from current WWE wrestlers, from Vince McMahon, and from the fans.

Everybody loved Bruno.

He is and was my favorite wrestler of all time, and like I said about Chuck McCann's passing a few days ago, with Bruno gone, another piece of my childhood is, too.

Bruno's exploits got me into pro wrestling, and with my son head over heels enamored with the sport, I have passed the torch over to the next generation.

If you want to see Bruno at work, there are a multitude of matches on the WWE Network, and I am sure there is plenty to see about him on YouTube too.

Every pro wrestler owes a debt to this guy, and for fans, his loss is a great one.

There can never be another wrestler like Bruno Sammartino, never, ever again.

R.I.P. Bruno. You done good.

Classic Rant #779 (July 27, 2012): The Post-Vacation Blues

I have to say it: I have the post-vacation blues.

Sounds like the name of a song that could have been sung by some bluesmen strumming his guitar on a porch somewhere, but not being musically talented, it's just a feeling I have after having a wonderful respite from the usual drudgery I face most of the time.

Sitting at my desk, typing, writing
What have I got to lose
I've got the post-vacation blues.

Thinking of those times
That we had as we tanned to darker hues
Yes, I've got the post-vacation blues.

Fun, fun and more fun
Doing what we wanted to do without any cues
Yup, I've got the post-vacation blues.

To sum it up
What's a poor boy to do
To cure my post-vacation blues?

No, that will never be a song that any bluesmen would ever sing, but the fact of the matter is that I wish I was still on vacation.

I think as I get older, I value the vacations more than I did when I was a kid.

I guess I need more relaxation now than I did when I was younger. As you get older, the stress level appears to increase, and you say to yourself, "I'm too old for this anymore."

And you persevere. You can't stop doing what you're doing, because if you did, you would be on a permanent vacation, and that's not something that you want to do--having been unemployed twice as an adult, and once for a year-and-a-half, I wouldn't call those times off "vacations" per se, but let's face it, if you don't work, you don't have a vacation.

I will get over it. I think once the weekend comes, and my family and I are firmly in our usual mode, I will be fine.

But right now, there's no pill to cure my ill, there's no lotion to change my emotion.

I have the post-vacation blues.

Rant 2,126: Lies

In the continuing saga of the Starbucks store which had two loiterers who happened to be black arrested for not buying anything in one of the chain's Philadelphia stores, the company had said it is going to pretty much shut down the chain in the U.S. for an afternoon so that employees can take a "race training" course.

Starbucks said that the aim is to "prevent discrimination" in its stores, but the real aim is to placate protestors and others who believe that the store did wrong when it had the two men arrested for being in the store, wanting to use the bathroom, but not buying anything.

Still not revealed is whether this "you buy, you pee" edict is a chain-wide mandate or just for this particular store or any store that wants to enforce it.

And still not known is whether the two men told store workers why they were there--they were meeting someone else, who, of course, happens to be white--and were to get together, and presumably to include coffee while they met.

However, the oh-so PC Starbucks, a company which wears this nonsensical lifestyle on its sleeve, clearly got bitten by it themselves with this incident.

Starbucks Chief Executive Officer Kevin Johnson pretty much put the onus of the entire incident on the store, which has been overrun by protestors since the incident occurred, not only putting off potential customers, but threatening the very existence of the store and the future of its workers.

The manager who actually made the call--who simply followed some type of policy that was instituted to protect baristas--was not fired, if I have heard correctly, simply transferred to another store. This tells you right there that the manager was simply following policy, whether it is systemwide policy or policy for this store in particular, which probably means that the store had problems with people abusing bathroom privileges and not buying anything, and had to put a rule into place to stop it.

Johnson met with the two men who are at the center of this controversy, and he also met with their attorney. Yes, the ambulance chasers came out in full force on this one, didn't they?

Johnson's apologized for the store's actions, distancing himself and the company from the going ons at this particular Starbucks.

Are you telling me that corporate had no idea that this rule was in place? Again, if it is a chain-wide rule, or even if it is just for this store, are you trying to tell me they knew nothing about it, and it is only now that it is being taken to task?

Yes, the customer is always right, even if the customer isn't really a customer and doesn't actually buy anything.

So, since Starbucks is so unhinged by this entire incident--which if nothing else, shows them to be a bunch of pseudo-PC charlatans who are much like any other business in that they exist to make money--they have chosen May 29 to close their stores in the afternoon and begin this training.

Sure, it will cost them plenty of money to do this--in the millions--but the egg on their face will be fully fried by this time, and you know they will make back their money that they lost the very next day.

But what of the poor, poor coffee-obsessed individuals who come to the store on the afternoon of May 29 to satisfy their coffee fix and find that their favorite coffee place is closed?

"Racial training be damned ... I want my Starbucks coffee!"

Maybe it will be grounds for them to retain their own lawyers, and demand that when they need their Starbucks coffee, their local outlet must be open to serve them, no matter what.

Classic Rant #778 (July 26, 2012): What Happened While I Was Away

When one is on vacation, the tendency is to forget about the little things that concern us during our daily lives.

Things like the news, sports scores and other things don't figure into our vacations.

We aren't supposed to care about our email, the latest happenings in the entertainment world, and things like that.

But I find that with the increase in the availability of technology, we can't fully turn our backs to what is going on when we are away.

Case in point was the during my family's vacation, when we had some down time--which admittedly wasn't much--I had the TV in our room tuned to ESPN.

I just had to know the baseball scores, and what was doing with the Jeremy Lin and Dwight Howard sagas. I also wanted to know the sanctions leveled against Penn State.

In the past, the TV was only in our room as something to watch as we wound down the day. However, I find that that isn't the case anymore; I am just as interested in finding out this stuff as I would be during a normal day.

And just looking around me, people are constantly playing with their cell phones, texting, reading email, keeping up on Facebook.

Vacations were once times to totally get away from it all, but those days appear to be over for good.

Technology has allowed us to keep up with everything, and do so quite easily.

Sure, when I was swimming, I wasn't totally thinking about the sports scores from the night before, but I did think about how the Yankees were doing, that's for sure.

Heck, I found out about the prior night's game that morning before going swimming.

I guess that's the way it is now, and that's the way that it is going to be for now on.

We are on information overload 24/7/365, and there is very little one can do about it.

I guess the only thing one can do about it is to just leave your devices at home when you are away, and don't turn on the TV or read any newspapers.

And that won't happen. Sure, you might not watch TV or read newspapers while you are on vacation, but leave your cell phone home?

Not a chance.

So while we are relaxing on vacation, we really aren't, to a certain extent. We are still tuned in, still on top of what is going on in the world.

I kind of pine for the days when we weren't so tuned in, but I know those days are really a thing of the past.

"Tuned in, turned on, dropped out," is pretty much what Timothy Leary said about the 1960s generation, turned on by drugs and a different type of lifestyle than their predecessors.

But think about it; he really could have been talking about the current way we do things.

And to an extent, his vision of the 1960s is as sad as using that phrase today.

But it seems to apply today just as much as it did all those years ago.

Too bad.