Rant #1,899: Funky Chicken

Mother’s Day is on Sunday, May 14, and for those of us who have yet to find the perfect gift for mom, you can look to the KFC fried chicken chain to provide you with just what you need.

KFC?

Yes, KFC.

The restaurant is giving away free online copies of its own romance novella, “Tender Wings of Desire,” which features Col. Harland Sanders himself on the cover.

The chain noted that Mother’s Day is one of its top days of the year, with a 40-percent boost in sales, so why not tie in romance with fried chicken (including, presumably, breasts and thighs)?

Actually, the romance novella is part of an ad campaign for KFC’s $20 Fill Up meal, and they feel that if you like the 96-page novella, you might splurge and purchase the meal for the lady in your life, too.

According to the chain, the book is about Lady Madeline Parker, who, living during the times of Victorian England, must choose between a loveless marriage and Sanders, the chicken king who in this novella is a passionate sailor, but one with lots of questions to answer about who he really is.

Those interested can get the novella for free at amazon.com.

Whether the real Col. Sanders is turning over in his grave about this, or applauding the minds that thought this up, is unknown, but making the good colonel into a sex symbol is kind of interesting.

I guess it means that we men all have a chance.

But somehow, a free novella and some fried chicken for Mother’s Day might not sit well with some.

Perhaps the best way of going this route is to get the book, get the chicken and get some flowers, some jewelry, some champagne, or something else to round out the gift.

If not, you might have to fly the coop with the reaction you will get from just the novella and the chicken.