Rant #3,218: Listen People

It is amazing that it takes so long to get on the same page, where sanity takes a long time to sink in to some people.

It took the “team” that my family is a main member of to finally agree on the obvious when it comes to moving forward and selling my house.

I told you yesterday that after speaking to the Town of Oyster Bay Compliance Department, that I was told that we would have to get someone in here to remove the sink, the dishwasher and the stove to make this a compliant one-family dwelling.

We would not be able to sell the house otherwise … so it seemed to me to be pretty obvious that this was going to have to be done—and there should have been immediate agreement on all sides that this was the next, best and only plan of action that we were going to have to take to sell the house and move on from this nightmare.

Well, that agreement was not as immediate as I had hoped.

I was told by other parties that I should investigate what we had to do to retain the mother/daughter status of the house—which I did, and after finding out what we had to do, it became even more blatantly obvious that this was not doable, and that we had to do exactly what Compliance said we had to do.

Yet, there were other parties in my “team” who evidently did not believe this, or perhaps did not understand this fully, and thought there were other options that we should explore before we fell in line with what Compliance told me to do.

I gave those parties until Monday to figure out another plan of action—but at about 4:30 p.m. yesterday, whatever plans of action that they thought they had completely fell through, and we are on the same page—finally.

I really don’t know what my “team” was thinking.

We were found out by Compliance, were found not to be in compliance for four years—meaning that we were living in this house for four years illegally—and that even if my mother had filed again for the mother/daughter designation in the proper time frame, once she left this earth, the mother/daughter situation completely fell through.

I knew this—I admit that I didn’t know all the whys and wherefores of what this meant to a T—but when Compliance told me what had to be done, the charade was over.

I knew it was over, but I guess others did not understand this … but they seemed to all fall in line after I spoke to our attorney yesterday, who told me at the end of the conversation that he was happy that he and I “were on the same page” with this predicament, and that he would do what he could on his end to make others understand exactly what that meant and what we had do do moving forward.

We have to get a contractor to rip up that kitchen either right now or sometime after my family leaves here for good, the property must be re-listed to reflect that this is now a one-family dwelling, and the price must be set to reflect that change.

I can’t really blame our attorney or our broker for any of this consternation, but other members of the team just took their time in understanding what I was saying to them--

Quite frankly that the jig was up.

I mean, who listens to me? I am just the son of the former owners who are both now deceased, my family and I are just living here the past 30 years, and heck, when the idea of the reverse mortgage first came up all those years ago, my concerns about the long-range effects of such a situation on my family were not listened to either, so why should anyone listen to me now?

This is a burden that I have to bear for the rest of my life, that my parents—and my mother in particular—did not listen to her own son when it came to this matter, and she paid more attention to outside sources when it came to this situation.

My mother has been in the ground for about five weeks, yet I mourned for her exactly one day, the day of the funeral.

Instead of mourning for her, and remembering what a great mother she was, all I have been thinking about is how bad she erred in taking on this reverse mortgage without fully understanding what it meant to not only her and my father, but to her son and his family.

And that it was egged on by someone who should have known better.

This is the millstone I have to wear around my neck for the rest of my life, and it is already a burden that no one could have imagined.

If I would have known what this would lead to, my family and I would have moved out of here years ago.

Hindsight is nice, but it does not lead anywhere positive.

What “might have been” carries absolutely no weight, but yes, I do think about it.

That being said, it is time to “pay the piper,” and I am assured that since we are all now on the same page, we can get this done and I can put this nightmare firmly behind me, and my wife and our son can do the same.

And I hope that in the future, when I have something to say, certain people open up their ears and their minds a little wider, and that they listen to what I have to say, because if this episode has proven one thing, it is that what I have to say carries a lot of weight, even during a period of total insanity.