Rant #2,535: As We Go Along

This weekend was not one of the most memorable I have had.

In fact, it was pretty bad.

The reality of the hole that I am in came full fore this weekend.

I did lots of driving on Saturday--driving my son to a doctor's appointment, driving to the barber for a haircut, driving my son to his bowling league, and later, driving my father to get a haircut.

(And by the way, he is better, and I will be driving him and my mother to see the blood doctor later today.)

Anyway, later on Saturday, I was going to meet my wife and her brother, her brother's wife, and our nephew at a local watering hole for dinner, and things went awry from there.

I was again behind the wheel, and I must have hit something, and hit something that I did not even know that I had hit, because by the time we got to the restaurant, my tire was pretty flat.

My son and I got back in the car, drove back to an auto place that I knew was open on Sunday--we barely got there, with the tire having barely enough air to get us there--and I left the car there, meeting my wife and her entourage there and going somewhere else to eat.

I also needed an oil change and an inspection, so I figured I would kill three birds with one stone, and just get it all done at once.

The car shop called the next day, and that is when the sticker shock did me in.

The total bill was over $400, as the tire was completely shot--heaven knows what I went over, but it totally destroyed the tire--and I need brakes to boot to pass inspection.

So here I am, $400 in the hole, after a week where my wife and I got destroyed by taxes, and to boot, we each got outrageous--and I mean, at least for us, unprecedented--doctor's bills in the mail.

Yes, we each got one, and my eyes nearly fell out of my head when I saw what we owed our doctor.

To pay the tax bill, I had to go into the savings account, which had a meager amount in it to begin with, and now, I foresee that I am going to have to do it again, because after nearly five months of being out of work, it has finally hit me where it really hurts, in the pocketbook.

I was doing OK for the first four months or so, paying what I had to pay and still having enough money for groceries, to pay rent, and to pay the other bills I get during the month.

And I even could pay for incidentals, like going out to eat every once in a while, sometimes to a fast food, sometimes to a real restaurant.

But with all of these most recent bills--including a nearly $400 bill that I had to pay the orthopedist when I was finished up there--I am down to seemingly my bottom dollar, forcing me to go into things I do not want to go into to barely keep afloat.

I wrote about this on Facebook yesterday, because I have to tell you, this entire mess I am in has made me a bit upset, but I was managing ... now I feel just so helpless.

"$400 car bill.

$300 medical bill.

$xxx tax bill.

Lots of other biils.

It is just so much fun to be out of work, isn't it?

No job, no money, no fun.

And I sit by my computer every day, hoping that some company will take "a chance" on me.

People tell me that this should be the best time in my life, and it is actually the worst time I have ever experienced.

And tomorrow, I will once again sit by my computer and hope that some company will take "a chance" on me.

(And by the way, on a Sunday, I actually applied for three positions ... and I won't hear from any of them.)"

And there is no remedy.

The remedy is obvious--get a job--but it seemingly does not work that way.

I wake up each day, do what I have to do, apply for jobs left and right, and I get nothing in return. At least if I could say that I got a few interviews out of it, I could say that it has been interesting.

I haven't only not gotten any interest at all, I have gotten bupkis, which even if you don't know Yiddish, you can easily translate.

So today, I trudge on, why, I don't really know, but on the other hand, if I don't continue doing what I am doing, then I will have no chance at getting anything.

You have to be in it to win it, as they say, but sometimes, I do feel so small being in something that I have no chance to win.

I am like a Little League team going after the New York Yankees.

The playing field is supposedly level, but how can a team of kids compete against an adult team full of stars?

I often feel like that, but who are the stars that I am competing against?

I just don't know, but that is where Linked In comes in, and for me at least, it hasn't helped me on iota.

Hiring managers insist that you have your profile there, but to me, Linked In the the biggest farce since New Coke.

I don't know who it works for, but it doesn't work for me.

That being said, now I am stuck without a job and financial insecurity.

The former I could take, to a certain degree; the latter, well, it simply does not compute.

Let's see what happens this week, but I expect the same old same old.

Local and national figures for unemployment will be a historically low levels, and I will be sitting in front of my computer, looking for work, with my ego and belief in my ability at historically low levels too.

And that isn't good.