Rant #2,376: Shoppin' From A To Z

My sister told my mother the other day that she went to her local Target, and was not only able to shop for groceries, but was able to get other non-food items because "the whole store was open."

I could not believe this, since in New York, all stores that were thought to be non-essential were shut down due to the coronavirus pandemic. That means that your local supermarket was open, but your local Kohl's was not.

Target falls into a different category altogether, because while they do have a relatively expansive food section, two-thirds of their space is devoted to clothing, furniture, sporting goods and other items thought to be non-essential during this period.

So in my mind, I figured that they would have their grocery portion open, but the other two-thirds of the store featuring non-essential items would be roped off at the current time.

How wrong I was!

I figured I would go over to our local Target to get a few food-related items that we needed, and to kill two birds with one stone, fill up my car with gas at the station that is right next door to the shopping center where Target is. So I drove to the store, thinking that my time there would be devoted to the essentials.

But when I got there, I saw people walking out of the front of the store with both essential and non-essential items. I grabbed a cart, walked in myself, and I saw that the entire store was open!

Yes, not only can shoppers get food and other necessary items, but ladies, if you wanted to buy a new outfit, or guys, if you wanted to buy a new set of golf clubs, you could do so, right in the middle of a pandemic!

This is kind of troubling, at least to me.

Target is kind of skirting the issue of closure because many of their stores are hybrid venues, where they have a grocery portion and a department store portion. Under the edict of the governor, most stores are shuttered because they are thought to be non-essential during this time period.

But here you have Target, selling both essential and non-essential items during a pandemic--and remember, tow-thirds of their store is devoted to department store items.

I don't know, it doesn't seem quite right to me.

So, being the shopping hypocrite that I am, I took advantage of the situation by not only picking up my essential items, but I also bought two heavy plastic files to store my 45 RPM singles in my ongoing project to fix up my daughter's old bedroom. With those two new additions, I can take my records out of an old dresser, put them in these new receptacles, and move the old dresser out of the room, which would free up space for another structure to hold LPs that now reside on the floor of the room.

So I put everything into my cart, and then I came across a woman, who had at least 10 years on me, in one of the aisles.

"Can you get that toilet paper for me off the top of the shelf," the somewhat height-challenged women asked me, referring to a package of about 20 rolls of toilet paper that was hanging out almost by its lonesome on the top shelf of one of the store's aisles.

"Sure," I said, and dutifully got her the rolls and placed them in her cart.

"Oh, do they have a limit here?" she asked. "I see another one. Could you please get that for me?"

Yes, there was the original package's twin a little further down on the top shelf in the aisle, and again, I dutifully and once again got her what she wanted, and put it in her cart for her.

Yes, the woman now had 40 rolls of toilet paper, and since I did not want to start an argument about hoarding--those were the only two bigger packages left in the entire store, she had them in her cart due to my effort--I began to walk away, shaking my head and thinking that this woman is an idiot.

And as I walked away, I saw that a man came from another aisle around the bend and met with her. I guess he was her husband, who was shopping up another aisle, and he had about five inches on me in height.

She couldn't wait for him to satisfy her hoarder sickness?

Yes, I guess I got used, so who's the idiot now?

After shaking my head so much that my neck hurt, I brought my cart up to the only aisle peopled by a human being in the store. I put my items on the roller to be scanned, and the cashier asked me if I wanted the smaller items bagged.

"Not if you are going to charge me five cents per bag," I replied, alluding to the governor's edict that stores had to charge five cents per plastic bag and could charge what they wanted for paper bags in New York State stores.

"No, they're free," he told me, and I gave him the OK to bag the smaller groceries.

I have noticed that some stores, including Shoprite, are skirting the issue of charging for bags until the ban on plastic bags--and the surcharge of five cents if you insist on them--is put in place tomorrow on April 1. Vinyl bags are an annoyance to begin with, but unless cleaned--something that most people do not do--they can be carriers of germs and other nasty stuff.

So in the pandemic, some stores are kind of skirting the issue of issuing their own plastic and paper bags for free, and Target is one of them. Based on my shopping experience yesterday, I don't have to wonder why.

I paid for my purchase using my debit card--preferable to germ-filled cash, which my bank teller wife handles every day at work--and after putting everything in my car, I went to the nearby gas station, where gas had gone below the $2 level because of lack of use or need by people staying put in their homes.

I filled up, again using my debit card, and when I was done, I used hand sanitizer to make sure I didn't pick up anything from the pump--another supposed source of contagions.

I then drove home--wondering why, even though I made my purchases and got pretty much what I wanted, and more--I had felt the need to go out in the first place.

Classic Rant #1,225 (June 11, 2014): Smoking Gun

I do not understand the fascination that many people in this country have with guns.

Why normal citizens feel the need to carry weapons is beyond me.

Why anybody thinks they need to carry a gun to protect themselves is something I do not understand.

By carrying a gun, I believe you are putting yourself in harm's way without even realizing it, creating a situation which generally does not exist.

And what are you going to do with a gun, anyway? Shoot somebody, which generally isn't a very good thing to do.

The last few days, with gun violence in schools and our streets being highlighted, I think that once and for all, something must be done about the gun problem in this country.

It seems like since Columbine, a day doesn't go by that we don't hear about another violent act in our schools revolving around guns.

And the scary thing is that the guns involved in these incidents are generally legal, being procured through the normal means. They are not guns from the streets.

I am no fan of our President, but on this issue, I agree with him 100 percent: these incidents, especially in our schools, are unnerving, as both a citizen of this country and a parent of two children. The logjams he has faced in even getting the most basic gun laws put in place in this country is a heinous blotch on Congress, and it will be their unfortunate legacy if nothing gets done during their tenure.

Look, we are not talking about illegally obtained guns here. If someone wants to get a gun, they will get a gun. Sure, there are laws in this country against getting these types of guns, and those laws work and don't work, and that is another story for another time.

What I am talking about here are legal firearms, those obtained from gun stores, at gun shows, those where the owner has to have a permit to own such weapons.

There has to be laws put into place to make it even more difficult for people who want to own guns legally to get them. Maybe we are talking about longer waiting periods, maybe even psychological evaluations of those who want to own such weapons.

But clearly, something needs to be done, because the weapons being used in these incidents, as I said, are generally ones that have been purchased legally.

Sure, those who feel that there are enough rules and regulations on the ownership of guns claim that it is our right as citizens of the United States to own firearms. I don't disagree, but I feel that it is time that we looked at the reasons why people own guns today.

This is not 1776. It is 2014, and do we really need guns to protect ourselves?

Just last week, there was an incident involving my son's school, where two prior graduates were arrested for talking about participating in a Columbine-like "event" at the high school. They were apprehended because a parent alerted the school's principal that these two clowns, one girl and one boy, were talking up such stuff on Facebook.

These two fools then said they were just joking, that they had no plans to either shoot up or blow up the school.

Very funny, and the authorities will deal with them later.

Anyway, with the phrase "weapons of mass destruction" part of our current lexicon, rather than look out of the country for such things, we only have to look right here in our country for them.

They are guns, and clearly, something must be done to stop them from being used to kill innocent people.

The problem has reached epidemic proportions, and there seems to be no turning back.

We must do something, and something soon.

This is not a cartoon.

When are people going to understand that guns kill?

Rant #2,375: Too Much Talk

As we go into another week of dealing with the coronavirus, we all attempt to cope with what is going on as best we can.

Some people are adapting to the "new normal" pretty well; others simply, plainly, don't know what to do with themselves.

Me, I got a head start on all of this due to my work situation, so I adapted a long time ago--nearly six months--to this craziness.

When I have put this fact up on Facebook, some have applauded me, some have ignored me, and some have probably rolled their eyes, but the fact of the matter is that I have completely adapted. It is just who I am, I guess. I always had a lot of hobbies throughout my life, and I have used my hobbies to make me feel good--and keep my occupied--for literally my full nearly 63 years of life.

My mother even brought this up the other day, saying that I "always had a lot of hobbies," and looking back, she was right.

When I was a little kid, my first hobby was collecting comic books, which I began at about age three of so--I taught myself to read--and which continued through my college years. During these 20 years or so, I amassed a sizable collection, and I became an avid reader. During down times in my teenage years, those comic books were my salvation, keeping me focused and occupied.

However, as an adult, I kind of moved on from them, as other interests took hold. I sold a good portion of my collection several years ago, and when I sold them, a piece of my childhood went out the door. But it was time.

My second big hobby was collection baseball cards, and I started to do that at age seven, and that continued into my teen years. Like most kids of the 1960s who collected these things, I bought them because I enjoyed them, and I didn't care that their value would skyrocket over time. I flipped them, I put them in rows by team, I even memorized statistics on the back of the cards. Again, during some very rough times as a teen, my baseball cards were another salvation for me.

But in the middle of my teen years, I guess I got bored with them, and I sold them, right before the baseball card boom happened. I don't regret it, and I still have some non-baseball cards--Monkees cards, among others--still in my possession.

Then we had the hobby that I still have, that I still add on to when I can, a hobby that has branched out into so many other areas.

That is record collecting, but even though it is the one hobby of mine that has continued into the current time, it actually began before the time I started collecting comic books, when I was probably about two years old. My mother, always keen on the hottest trends of the time, was always into music herself. She loved Broadway, and the musicals she saw on stage as a young girl and into her adulthood, and she got myself and my sister into that at an early age, but with things so un-Broadway but still so engaging.

The Chipmunks were among the biggest crazes of the late 1950s, with Ross Bagdasarian cleverly taking recorded voices and speeding them up, matching them with music and having hit after hit with the "band" he dubbed "The Chipmunks," Alvin, Simon and Theodore, whose manager was his own alter ego, David Seville. Couple all of this with a widely popular TV cartoon series, and you got gold.

As for me, my mother bought me--my sister would come around at the end of 1959--some of the Chipmunks singles, and I guess we must have listened to them in the house, although I don't have any recollection of that.

It wasn't until the coming of the Beatles that I have any memory of record collecting, and once again, my mother--very into the trends--bought my sister and I some of the early Beatles records along with her own purchases of Broadway and movie tunes. That got my sister and I on board with buying music, and when we were old enough to do it ourselves--I was seven years old or so--it became part of our family to buy records, mainly 45s but a lot of LPs too.

It was a family thing, and I really didn't talk about it much outside our family. My mother had the radio on in the morning, we listened to WABC and WMCA religiously, and with the family's HiFi in the foyer, we seemingly always had music on.

And then the Monkees happened, and there was no turning back. My sister and I loved the show, my mother bought us the records, and while the Beatles were the top of the line, the Monkees were OUR VERY OWN BAND, made for our age group--ages seven to nine years old, as we were--and that got my sister and I to buy for ourselves not only their music, but others too.

When the Monkees went off the air, my interest waned, although my mother and sister continued to buy records, not just Broadway and movies soundtracks but popular stuff like the Partridge Family. My sister, during her younger years, had an uncanny ability of hearing a song one time and knowing all the lyrics, which she would write down as if water was turned on and pouring freely from a spout. It was incredible, but she was able to do this.

Me, I was more interested in baseball and basketball and Strat-O-Matic baseball, other passions of mine.

So, into my teenage years I didn't purchase too many records; on occasion I would get a comedy album, like Robert Klein's "Mind Over Matter"--which had an underlying sports theme--but otherwise, while I heard the music around me, I really wasn't too much into it.

Then I went to college, and I had an epiphany. Tired of comic books and getting into a crowd there who were heavy music listeners--and some who were musicians themselves--I had a decision to make, and my decision was to spend my free money on records ... and I have never looked back.

I got into the 1960s in the mid to late 1970s, bought up everything I could find on the golden decade when you basically could not give these records away--and I bought new recordings at the local Sam Goody and other new and used record shops as fast as they could put them out.

I got into new wave and punk, hated disco, got into bands like Cheap Trick and Blondie before most people knew who they were, listened to WNEW-FM religiously, and before long, I had a collection that was pretty incredible, much of it coming from flea markets and garage sales.

The collection has continued to grow to this day, but my specialty remains the 1960s, or really, any music from about 1964 to 1971, which is my focus, and anything else that I like ... and yes, I still have plenty of Chipmunks recordings.

This hobby has had tentacles, and it led to me creating hundreds of "mix tapes" that I used to listen to in my car during the cassette era, many of which I made not just for myself, but for friends. This later morphed into my current passion, digitizing my vinyl records, also to listen to in the car, and now I am getting into digitizing my sizable cassette collection, rediscovering tapes that I bought here and there from the mid-1970s into the early 1990s, stuff by Graham Parker and Living Colour and Deborah Harry that had been collecting dust for years.

And finally, I am seriously thinking about fixing up my daughter's old room, and making the mess I have of my records being all over the place into a room that my family and I can be truly proud of.

Anyway, what this all amounts to is that since the age of about three, I have always been able to find something to do when I needed something to do. If I didn't have these hobbies during my difficult teen years I do believe that I might not be here now, as when friends were getting into things they should not have been doing, I was getting into things that I really enjoyed doing, most of the time by my lonesome.

During these trying times, I have many, many other things to bide my time as an adult and as a parent and son, but when there is virtually "nothing to do," I gravitate to my records,

I would hope that all of us would have something to fill our time if we have that time on our hands now that many of us are at home. My advice is that if you are home, get into something you haven't had the time to do for eons. Look, when I first started my unemployment odyssey, I knew that if I didn't fill my extra time with something tangible, that I would go mad, so after my hours and hours spent looking for work, when I have totally exhausted that drive and determination I have, I move onto something else.

All of us should do the same thing--do something where you aren't bored out of your mind.

No, I am not better than anyone, and yes, today's blog entry was, in fact, all about me.

But I have heard too much talk of people not knowing what to do with themselves while at home during the pandemic. I am sick to tears with all the crabbing that some people are doing.

I promise you, we will get through this, in due time. But in the meantime, if you are not working, if you have lost your job, if you are being forced to stay home for an undetermined period, if the work hours that you do have have been greatly reduced, make diamonds out of coal, and use the time to your advantage--which is not sitting in front of the TV all day and getting more spaced out by the constant coronavirus reports.

Too much talk ... you better believe it. Back up that talk with some action, and I promise you, you will feel better about it, better about the whole thing.

Classic Rant #1,224 (June 10, 2014): Dumb Down

I was a pretty smart kid when I was growing up.

I taught myself to read, and I watched a lot of television; contrary to what has been said for ages, television taught me a lot back then.

So when I finally went to school at P.S. 165 in Kew Gardens Hills, Queens, I was under the microscope.

I remember in kindergarten, men came to our class in suits, and they were watching me play.

In first grade, I was in a class that was kind of special. It was taught by an older woman who had never taught grade school before, a college professor, and she taught us stuff way beyond our grade level.

When we moved to Rochdale Village, I was at least two years ahead of most of my peers, and the stuff we did in second grade was a bore to me. Everything kind of evened out by fourth or fifth grade, but in those early years, I was bored.

By the time I got to junior high school, the playing field had evened out, but I was still in the SP classes, which I guess nowadays is the equivalent of the Honors class.

Late in eighth grade, my friends and I decided that we would try out for one of the elite schools in New York City, and I took the test for Bronx High School of Science (pictured)--the others were Brooklyn Tech and Stuyvesant--and passed the test.

I never went there, as we moved to Long Island right before high school began, but I could have gone there if I wanted to.

That is why it pains me to hear that certain New York City education officials pretty much want to dumb down the admission test for admission to these elite schools, making it easier for "everyone" to attend these institutions.

I am totally, 100 percent against this move, the latest in a whole host of "dumbing down" proposals on these schools that have been talked about since the 1980s or so, when the makeup of the students in the New York City school system had so radically changed.

Nowadays, it is not a disproportionate number of whites who go to these schools, but a disproportionate number of Asians who pass the test and make these schools, and for some reason, this has gotten people into an uproar.

Again, you have to take a test to go to these schools. You have to be smart to pass the test, and that has been the way it has been for generations.

No, not everyone should go to these schools.

However, some officials believe that not only taking a test, but other things should be added into the equation on who gets in and who doesn't, including school attendance, overall marks, and other areas that are nice, but they don't make for a successful student at these schools.

These people claim that that is how Ivy League schools do it, so if it is good for Harvard, it is good for Stuyvesant.

Well, if that was the case, I should have applied to Harvard when I was in high school, because I rarely missed a day of school.

This all is utter nonsense. It should not be easy to get into these schools. That is why they are elite schools, having a student body that is the best of the best of New York City school students.

And that has nothing to do with color or ethnic origin. The advocates of this plan say that it evens the playing field, and allows all ethnicities to attend these schools.

Funny, I thought that all ethnicities were allowed to go to these schools--you just had to pass the test, and no matter if you were black, white, yellow, pink or purple, if you were worthy of going there, you went there.

This is just another sort of link to affirmative action, and sorry, I cannot say that I am for that.

You should always take the best of the best, no matter who they are, and that is what these schools have done for generations.

Anyone can go to high school, and the way the city's public schools are now, you are not locked into going to your local high school, if there is one, and that has been the policy for more than 40 years.

So what is the big hubbub over this latest proposal?

To me, it just shows how far down the New York City schools have moved down into the quagmire.

This school system was once the best in the world. Over the past 40 or more years, it has gone into the garbage pail. This all started when districts became decentralized, and you had non-education people running the districts and their schools. They were more interested in getting local people into teaching positions and other positions of high authority than taking the best people available.

Although Stuyvesant and the other elite schools have always been there, there were also regular high schools which at one time excelled, such as Erasmus in Brooklyn and Jamaica High School in Queens. These were special schools that have given way to educational decay.

The latest move is symptomatic of a bigger problem, the fact that the New York City schools are not what they once were.

But you know what? Not being able to go to the elite high schools does not doom you in your future endeavors. Plenty of doctors, lawyers, teachers and yes, writers, come out of the New York City school system who don't attend the elite high schools.

So what is the problem here?

Rant #2,374: Bridge Over Troubled Water

"Welcome to my world, people. I have currently been "quarantined" by being out of work for 169 days, with no end in sight.

Keep busy, always find something to do, stay away from the refrigerator as much as you can, keep TV on for a minimum amount of time, do the things I have been doing for nearly six months to stay sane and alert.

I guess I got a head start on this, but if we keep our wits about us, this too shall pass.

Good luck!"

Here I go again, leading off my daily Rant with a quote.

A big no-no, like I said the other day, but it is very important what I said, so this quote of mine from Facebook is wholly, 100-percent appropriate.

I got fed up with people saying they were bored being home.

Well, as they say, "tough tomatoes."

(I could say something else, but this is a family-oriented blog.)

Stop your crabbing, and do something!

My wife and I went to the local supermarket yesterday, and yes, they had pretty much everything we had on our list, INCLUDING TOILET PAPER.

No need to get crazy, but I am seeing some price gouging.

I also put this up on Facebook, with the accompanying photo:

"Saw this in the supermarket today. These are six packs of the smaller waters. So, were they over $4 each six pack, or over $4 for two six packs, or 12 smaller bottles total?

My family and I didn't need the water so we didn't buy it, but it seemed a bit exorbitant to me.

Not the supermarket's fault, but somebody is overcharging for this and many other items."

Sad, really sad, but certain people will take advantage of ANY situation for their own benefit.

So since this is the last Friday of the month, and we all need to exhale, let's go back 50 years to the music that we were listening to during this same period.

Since this year's leap year through everything parallel out of the equation, for now on, when I do a column like this, we are going to look at the week coming, so this week's Billboard Hot 100 look-back will be for the week of March 28, 1970, so it is almost 50 years ago, one day shy.

Anyway, Badfinger came in with the No. 10 song for the week, "Come and Get It." The tune, written by Paul McCartney, was featured in the movie "The Magic Christian," which starred Peter Sellers and bandmate Ringo Starr.

In a song that is appropriate in today's world as we fight this pandemic, "Give Me Just a Little More Time" by the Chairmen of the Board was the No. 9 song of the week. The tune, which sounds like it came from Motown's the Four Tops, was lead vocaled by the aptly-named General Johnson.

"Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum was the No. 8 song of the week. Often thought as one of the all-time one-hit wonders, Greenbaum actually placed a couple of other singles as a solo artist and as a member of Dr. West's Medicine Show and Junk Band on the lower ranges of the singles chart.

The British Invasion was still alive at this point in time, and the Hollies had one of their biggest hits during this period, having "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" reach No. 7 this week. The band had a slew of hits during the early days of the British Invasion, and continued to have hits into the early 1980s.

Bubblegum was also still very much alive in 1970, and the Jackson 5 kept the ball rolling with "ABC," which this week was the No.6 song on the chart. The song would eventually reach the No. 1 spot on the Hot 100 in four weeks' time.

Entering the top five on the chart, the Edison Lighthouse provided the light on the upper half of the Top 10 for the week at the No. 5 slot with "Love Grows" (Where My Rosemary Goes). Another supposed one-hit wonder, lead singer Tony Burrows had numerous hits with other studio bands, like the Brotherhood of Man and First Class.

Another supposed one-hit wonder was the Jaggerz, and they had the No. 4 song in the country with "The Rapper." Again, this supposed one-hitter actually had a few other singles make the lower regions of the chart, and lead singer Donnie Irace became Donnie Iris in the 1980s, and he, too, had a small string of entries on the Hot 100.

We all got "Instant Karma" with John Ono Lennon, and his song was at the No. 3 spot for the week. So the Beatles are represented on this week's chart by two solo efforts of the band, one a song from a film featuring another band member, and they are also represented collectively by ...

"Let It Be," which reached No. 2 this week. The song, also the title song of the film, would reach the No. 1 spot on the Hot 100 in two weeks, knocking another classic out of the top spot--

The No. 1 song for this week was ...

"Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Simon and Garfunkel, another song that is eerily appropriate for the time we are living in, 50 years after the fact.

The single that had the highest debut on the Hot 100 this week was "Woodstock" by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. The oft-covered song, written by Joni Mitchell and commemorating the concert in upstate New York--it was also done by Matthew's Southern Comfort, for one--debuted at No. 68 this week. It would eventually rise to No. 11.

The biggest mover on this chart--the song that jumped the highest number of places on the Hot 100 from one week to another--was Gladys Knight and the Pips' "You Need Love Like I Do (Don't You)," which moved up from No. 87 to No. 41 this week. The song would stall at No. 25, but after this song fizzled out, the act became one of America's hottest performers on the chart, racking up a string of massive hits including :Midnight Train to Georgia" which topped the chart in 1973.

So there you have it, a look back on the top songs we were listening to 50 years ago, which was preceded by the drudgery of what is going on today.

We can dive into these tunes once again while we are waiting out this pandemic. Look through your record/tape/CD collection, go to YouTube to churn up these hits, and maybe it will give us all time to think about today and the future.

I think we will beat this thing, and if we need the music of a different time to do it, so be it.

Have as good a weekend as you possibly can have, and I will speak to you again on Monday.

Classic Rant #1,223 (June 9, 2014): Ice Cream

We finally had a decent weekend, really didn't have to rush around for anything, and my wife and I ended up in the backyard pool for a few hours yesterday afternoon.

We use an incredible radio when we go into the pool. This is a bathroom radio that I believe my mother got us around the time we were married 21 years ago.

We put in the batteries way back then, and listened to the radio when we swam outside.

We have never put in another pair of batteries since then.

Don't ask. I can't figure it out myself.

Sure the power is running down by now, and yesterday, we were just about able to pick up a local station where they were doing a lot of recollections about the past, and how kids were brought up in the 1950s and 1960s, interspersed with a lot of Italian pop music from the likes of Dean Martin and Jerry Vale.

And it got my mind and my wife's mind going about ice cream.

I mean, it was over 85 degrees yesterday, it is nearly the summer, and for former Queens kids like us, any conversation about the past has to include ice cream.

Ice cream was one of the lifebloods of our existence back in the mid to late 1960s. Playing in the park all day, when the ice cream truck rolled around, we were ready with our money, and the line was long to get this kids' delicacy from the truck into our waiting hands.

Ice cream trucks were probably even more important to generations ahead of us, because a lot of people didn't have refrigerators or freezers in their homes--think "The Honeymooners"--so back then, the ice cream truck probably almost signaled the coming of the messiah.

But for us 1960s city kids, the ice cream truck simply meant a cool break to what we were doing.

And for 25 cents yet.

Where I grew up, in Rochdale Village, South Jamaica, Queens, we had circles that the buildings were positioned in, and in our circle, the third section of the development, we often had three ice cream trucks there at the same time: Good Humor, Hood and Mister Softee, and there were long lines of kids at each one.

We even occasionally had one more venture into the neighborhood: Bungalow Bar. This ice cream was really the lowest of the low, to me at least, and there was even a jingle attached to this brand of ice cream:

"Bungalow Bar
The more you eat it
The sicker you are."

Anyway, I preferred Good Humor out of all of them. Their ice cream simply tasted better on a hot day than the others.

Frank was the Good Humor truck driver's name. He came around each summer, strode out of the truck in his white uniform--cap down to his sneakers--and stood there, reaching into the truck's freezer for ice cream. I loved Strawberry Shortcake, and really any pop was fine. My mother would not allow my sister or I to have ices, so it had to be ice cream.

Then it was about 1969, and Frank wasn't around anymore. Yes, Good Humor came around, but for some reason, this old 70-ish guy embellished the ice cream, and getting it from somebody else wasn't the same.

We later found out that Frank, our Good Humor ice cream man from 1964 to 1968 or so, every summer, had died.

And with that, our summer ice cream simply didn't taste the same anymore.

Sure, we still got it for the succeeding summers I lived there through 1971, but it just didn't have the same taste.

Who knows, maybe it was because I was getting older, and ice cream didn't have the same fascination to me as it once had.

But ice cream never tasted the same anymore to me.

This weekend, while shopping with my wife, I guess I had ice cream and Frank--we never knew his last name, to us his full name was Frank theGoodHumorIceCreamMan--on my mind, so to honor Frank and those days, I bought myself a box of Good Humor Strawberry Shortcake from the supermarket.

Yesterday evening, I had my ice cream, and I have to tell you, Frank's death still has something on me and ice cream.

It just didn't taste the same as it did when Frank doled it out to us.

So here's to Frank, my Good Humor ice cream man from more than 40 years ago.

I hope if he is reading this column from heaven--where else would a deceased Good Humor ice cream man go--he is getting a good laugh out of it.

And here is a song that has about as much to do with my ice cream experience as "House of the Rising Sun" does, but at least it shares its name with this summertime treat, and experience, that I will never, ever forget.

Rant #2,373: "Its the End of the World As We Know It" vs. "One Way Or the Other"

Today, May 26, should have been a great day for sports fans.

The 2020 Major League Baseball season was supposed to begin today, and all 30 teams were supposed to be active, including my favorite team, the New York Yankees, playing the Baltimore Orioles in Baltimore this afternoon at 3 p.m.

All the pomp and pageantry of opening day was supposed to be there, with the red, white and blue bunting all around, a packed house, and lots of action on the field.

Well, just let's say that due to circumstances beyond anyone's control, that isn't going to be happening today, and it isn't going to be happening for the foreseeable future.

MLB keeps pushing back its opening day, and the way it might be going, they will be pushing back their opening day to oblivion, or something like that.

Sports, for what they are, exist as a diversion to our everyday lives, and we simply have not had much going on during this outbreak.

Pro wrestling--which exists in its own universe to begin with--is about the only thing going on now, and even the WWE has limited its scope, running its three weekly network shows in bare arenas, and with little action, although that has picked up in recent days.

Another pro wrestling group--Impact Wrestling--pre-tapes their shows, so they have run full, first-run shows since the pandemic began, with crowds and full action. Soon, those shows will all be shown, and I would think they would have to go the WWE route, maybe have their weekly shows in bare arenas with much less action than they are used to.

Pro wrestling is as much entertainment as it is sports, so they kind of tread the line between the two, and I have to say that both WWE and Impact, and I am sure the other organizations, including EAW, should be commended for trying to keep things going in the face of complete and total adversity.

What else can we do to keep our minds off of what is going on?

Yesterday, I put up a video on Facebook where I brought people into the room where I keep all of my records, which is a complete mess because I do not have the shelving needed to keep my collection all nice and tidy.

I showed people some of what I had, and then I actually showed them how I digitize my records, in this case, "Paul Revere and the Raiders Greatest Hits," of which I have both the stereo and mono versions, but decided to digitize the mono version of this 1967 release.

It was a fun thing to do, and the seven-minute video remains on Facebook, so please look for it if you can.

Then I thought to myself, if someone was making a musical playlist of songs that were "just right" to listen to during this pandemic, what songs would they listen to?

Well, you actually would have to have two different playlists, one for panic, and one to uplift you after you heard all the panic songs.

Here are my panic songs first:

1) R.E.M - It's the End of the World As We Know It
2) Jimi Hendrix Experience - Manic Depression
3) Elvis Presley - Surrender
4) Napoleon XIV - They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-Haa!
5) Herman Hermits - End of the World
6) Black Sabbath - Paranoid
7) Ted Nugent - Home Bound
8) Alan Price Set - I Put a Spell On You
9) Jan and Dean - Dead Man's Curve
10) Ohio Express - Mercy

Here are my uplifting songs:
1) Blondie - One Way Or the Other
2) Pat Benatar - Hit Me With Your Best Shot
3) Monkees - I'm a Believer
4) Blues Magoos - There's a Chance We Can Make It
5) Graham Parker - Life Gets Better
6) Carl Carlton - Everlasting Love
7) Outfield - All the Love In the World
8) Paul Revere and the Raiders - Good Thing
9) Hall and Oates - How Does It Feel To Be Back
10) Melanie - Peace Will Come (According to Plan)

That is all I could think of, and maybe you have your own playlists. Even the panic songs are not all panic, as the R.E. M. song is actually subtitled "And I Feel Fine."

Yes, all of these things occupy time, and since I got a head start on the "time" aspect of everything going on, I am so used to filling up my time with things that I would not have the time to do if I were still working that maybe I have developed a knack for filling time with not much of anything.

But keep the faith. We are going to get through this.

It will take time, but we will beat this thing.

Speak to you tomorrow.

Classic Rant #1,222 (June 6, 2014): Celebration

I am back at this column. Whatever went down yesterday went down yesterday.

Not good, not bad, somewhere in between, but it had to be done, and I am glad that I did it.

Anyway, I am back just in time to tell you about the greatest woman in the world.

Yes, I am talking about my wife, and today, we have been together as a husband and wife for 21 years.

Heck, after the horror that was my first marriage, I still cannot believe that I married again, but I did, and boy, did I marry the right person!

She is everything I ever wanted in a wife, and then, even more.

I got lucky, I admit it. I am not necessarily one who beats the odds, but I think I did with my wife.

Somehow, we joined together, and 21 years--plus an extra year that we lived together--shows how solid our union is.

She is beautiful, talented, smart and my dream girl, all in one.

Sure, we are in our late 50s, but when I am with her, I feel like a teenager.

Honestly, I have to pinch myself to make sure that this is the real world and not a dream, even all these years later.

She is my perfect match.

And she is a good mother to our son, who can be difficult at times.

She doesn't take any garbage from him, but loves him and cares for him and worries about him as any good mother would.

She is the total package.

Sure, I guess all of us can say that about our spouses. But from my end, being on the cliff and ready to jump off before I met her, I know the real thing, and this is it.

It just took me a little longer to find her than I would have liked.

But once I found her, I knew she was it, and from what she has told me, the feeling was mutual.

So here is to my wife on our 21st anniversary, the person who I have to say is the greatest woman in the world.

At least in my world, and she is very, very important to me.

We have been through a lot in those 21 years--lots of good, lots of bad--but honestly, I couldn't be happier.

Rant #2,372: Goin' Down

"Fifty percent of the coronavirus cases are in Nrw York State, yet many rich and ignorant morons who live in New York City are moving out to their country homes on Long Island, further spreading the virus.

Other New Yorkers are vacating New York City and going out of the area, to Florida, the Carolinas and elsewhere, further spreading the virus to other states.

I swear, I almost wish "The Walking Dead" was real, and you could blow these idiots' heads off.

FEMA is also doing what it can, getting necessary equipment to New York out of nowhere, and Gov. Cuomo has to stop being so melodramatic.

Everyone should just stop and think; Easter is not a proper timeframe, but what can the president do? He is between a rock and a hard place, and now he owns that time frame. But again, the press should stop pressing him for a date.

Enough is enough already."

I wrote this yesterday on Facebook, and I mean what I wrote.

Look, Writing 101 says you never begin a story with a quote, unless the quote you are using is a powerful one, and yes, I do believe what I said is strong enough to lead off this Rant.

For every act of generosity and kindness we have seen during this pandemic, there are others who just believe they are above everybody else, and do things that are so absolutely stupid that they are beyond belief.

Those rich folks moving out to the Hamptons because they don't like the scene in Manhattan are self-absorbed fools who can't see the forest for the trees, who don't understand--and more to the point, don't care--that their movements may actually be spreading this virus to others, and they are certainly spreading the virus to Long Island, where incidences are jumping.

And then we have Governor Cuomo, who I swear sounds like he is running for president, what with his melodramatic pleas yesterday. I understand where he is coming from--he is as frustrated as anyone about this terrible situation--but please, don't use your own melodrama to engage the rest of the country in your own viability.

When is he going to learn that the rest of the country is not as ignorant and stupid as New York State voters are? Just ask New York City's Mayor deBlasio about that is you need to be brought up to snuff on that subject.

Look, the president, the governor and the mayor are all doing outstanding jobs in doing what must be done to quell this virus throughout New York State and New York City and in the country as a whole. They really are. But stop the pandering, stop the near tears, stop the grandstanding ... everyone is doing whatever they can to make things better, but as they have all said, it is going to get worse before it gets better.

And Gov, Cuomo, stop stabbing people in the back that you have in one breath praised and then in the nest breath, stab in the back.

Politics aside, I made myself a busy day yesterday, After doing what I had to do for myself--writing this blog, looking over the job entries, applying for a few jobs because that is what New York State says I must do--I was on and off Facebook yesterday, live at times, talking to people about what they should be doing with their time, including taking a walk outside if they can.

I have a lot to do today. I have to set my son's current work situation in motion on the New York State Department of Labor site, filing a claim for him for the very first time. I also have to make some phone calls--to a doctor that he has an appointment with this weekend--and test message some others who help him during the week.

I like to say that I am "Busy Miss Lizzie" today, but if I get a chance by late morning, maybe I can go onto Facebook again and put up a video of me doing something, Look for me.

Yesterday, in addition to doing all that I just described, I also wrote another chapter of my fiction novel--30 chapters and counting--and I digitized a few records.

I also brought up on Facebook two important points, one really important, and one as nebulous as my current job search is: the first being that if this thing goes for a few months, could the November presidential election be postponed; and the second one, that to my ear, Kenny Rogers and the First Edition's "Ruby, Don't Take Your Love to Town" sounds exactly like the Monkees' "What Am I Doin' Hangin' 'Round."

Of the two, guess which post received the most responses?

Oh, gee, I almost forgot, I received our Census stuff in the mail the other day, and I have to do that today online.

One more brick added to the load.

It is good to be busy, even in the house, rather than sit around and watch TV all day.

Yesterday, I even offered my services to ABC's afternoon Coronavirus wrapup that they now are running each day, but they haven't bit yet. I guess I am not the proper demographic that they are looking for, even though seniors are supposed to be our "most valuable commodity" during this crisis.

Yup, and I have cryptocurrency to sell you if you believe that.

Over and out. Speak to you again tomorrow with more pearls of wisdom.

We will beat this thing, but it is going to take time, and cooperation from everyone, from the top to the bottom, to do this.

Classic Rant #1,221 (June 4, 2014): Simple, Isn't it?

These new-fangled cars ...

All I want to do is open the door, sit down, put the key in the ignition, turn the car on, and drive away.

It isn't that simple anymore, as I am learning with my new car.

There are all these gizmos and gadgets in the car that are making me crazy.

The basics of the car I have down pat. I can get from point A to point B pretty well.

But it is the other stuff that is making me crazy.

Let's start with the dashboard.

I have driven at night just a few times since getting the car, and when I turn on my headlights, that is easy, nothing too hard with that.

But the dashboard does not light up as I am accustomed to. I can see it pretty clearly, but it does not light up brightly.

Yesterday night, I was out taking my son to the doctor, and driving there, the dashboard lit up like I like it after a few minutes of driving.

Driving home, it never lit up that way. I have no idea why, what I did earlier to get it to light up, or any clue at how to get it to light up brightly immediately.

Next we have the radio. I have been listening to an MP3 disk I made on my computer, and while the music plays just fine, although it is not in shuffle mode, it seems to play songs randomly.

This really is the least of my problems, because it plays pretty well, but not in the order that the tracks were originally burned in.

Heck, I cannot even program that stations I want to listen to on this radio yet.

Next comes the trip meter, and this is where I think I just have to bide my time, and all of these things will be found out.

I could not find the darn thing. Usually, it is right by the speedometer, and a simple push of a button resets it.

Heck, in this car I could not find it, could not find any trace of it.

After some trial and error, I found that I could access it--and several other speedometer and other things that I will probably never use--through a control on the steering wheel.

But I could not figure out how to reset it.

Here is where the hope I was talking about comes in. I simply could not figure this out at all, but then I figured, "Let me try this other button," and lo and behold, it worked like a charm.

Now, you are probably saying to yourself, "Why doesn't he read the manual. All the answers are in there."

Well, that is not quite true.

I have read the manual, which is as thick as a small encyclopedia. I have even read the quick tips card that was provided. But I find that all the answers are not in there, or at least, not explained so this guy with a master's degree can understand it.

Maybe I need a doctorate, I don't know, but it seems to take for granted that this is not the first "smart car" you have driven, and doesn't explain very much in what you would call "English."

I am sure I am not the only person who has struggled with what I would call "nuisances" when purchasing a new car like this, but it can be very frustrating.

But like I said, these are nothing but minor problems, and through trial and error, I will conquer them.

I just wish for the days when you could just get in a car and go to where you had to go, and not worry about such nonsense.

But in our high tech world, those days appear to be over.

I guess that I am a guy for a different time, but the time is now, and maybe I am still stuck in the early late 1970s to early 2000s, when you didn't have to worry about such stuff. I never did with my other car.

Technology is wonderful, isn't it?

By the way, I will not be around tomorrow. I have to take care of a personal issue, nothing horrible, so I will speak to you again on Friday.

See you then.

Rant #2,371: Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)

Well, even though that song was a huge hit more than 50 years ago, boy, is it an appropriate song for the times today.

Yesterday, I had to venture out and have blood drawn for a future physical examination by my doctor, and it just so happened that I had to get my monthly allergy shots on the very same day.

I usually get my allergy shots on a Saturday, but the office was closed this past Saturday to allow workers in this office to be better allocated by the company they work for, so there were no shots being given when I normally get them.

Funny, I got them, but my allergies are really bad today, effecting my eyes, and right now, I am having a hard time focusing om the screen and what I am writing.

Anyway, when my blood was drawn, I was the only person there for blood work, and I was taken immediately.

the nurse who handled me was dressed to the gills with protective gear, and there was even a more intensive procedure when I gave a urine sample, both to protect myself and whoever would be handling the sample.

Whatever the case, the procedure was handled quickly, and the nurse told me that she had one child who had lost her job and another who had to take some examinations that were being postponed and were in jeopardy. Her husband was ready to retire, and she admitted that she was somewhat happy that her job as a nurse was considered essential, so she could continue to draw a regular paycheck.

I, too, am happy that my wife's job as a bank teller is considered essential, and that she can draw a regular paycheck while I am out of work and our son is furloughed, but I worry about her direct contact with money--both paper and coin--during this pandemic.

Happily, only her bank's drive-through area is open for transactions, although the cash machine is open for business and anyone who needs to speak with someone on the floor can do it with an appointment.

Personally, the only regular appointment that I have is with my computer and proceeding with my job hunt, although that, as you could imagine, is a completely fruitless exercise at this point in time.

I would say that job posts were down yesterday by about two-thirds, and even the posts that are up are mainly repeats of jobs that have been up before, sometimes for months at a time, so you have to question their veracity in the current time and overall.

However, I am fairly busy, not just for myself but for my family.

Over the past few months, I have become the hub for so many things, including caring for and helping my elderly parents. In fact, once again later this week, I must take my father to the doctor for a mandatory visit.

I really don't mind. It makes me feel that there really is a God, and that there is a true, divine reason that I am out of work. I am not a necessarily religious person, but I do believe that God has had a purpose for me during these nearly sis months ... or perhaps it just calms me down when I look at my situation.

And yes, I would be completely remiss if I did not write a little bit about the passing of Kenny Rogers, one of the true icons of the music business. He died the other day, of natural causes, leaving behind a legacy of music that has impacted so many performers and enticed so many fans.

Rogers, like Glen Campbell and Michael Nesmith, brought country music into living rooms around the country and the world, when that type of music really was thought of as nothing more than hillbilly music. Sure, there were successful crossovers before those three reached the pinnacle of their craft, but these guys were able to mix traditional country with the newer sounds making their way into our consciousness, but they all could not do it before they got their foot firmly in the door, a door that once in, gave them long, productive careers turning and bending the country genre into the popular music that it has since become.

Campbell was part of the famed Wrecking Crew, which played on hundreds of hits in the 1960s, mostly pop and rock, and he was so good and had the right look and talent that he was able to break off on his own and become one of out most popular performers of the late 1960s really through the 1980s and beyond.

Nesmith used the platform of the Monkees TV show and music to get young kids to listen to country music in a new and different way, and while his solo career became and still is something of an under the radar spectacular, those few years with the Monkees opened up the ears--and eyes--of the Baby Boomer generation to a whole new realm of music.

Rogers, who had been knocking around for some years prior to any success he eventually had, opened the door with the First Edition with the only-could-be-a-hit-in-the-1960s "Just Dropped In ... ." which got up to No. 5 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1968, and like Nesmith and Campbell, once his foot was in the door, the door could not be closed.

And also like Campbell and Nesmith, Rogers used the medium of television to get his point across. With that one rock hit behind him, the First Edition was ubiquitous on TV, led by Rogers. With an earring in tow, the act had numerous top 40 hits over the next few years, all in the country-pop genre, such as "Ruby, Don't Take Your Love To Town" and "But You Know I Love You," and they even had their own TV series, "Rollin' with Kenny Rogers and the First Edition."

But Rogers was getting too big for the First Edition, and he broke away, and that is when his popularity soared even higher. Now firmly in the country genre, he had numerous big hits, including "Lucille," "Coward of the County and "The Gambler," the latter of which he parlayed, once again, into a TV package, this time of made-for-TV movies.

Rogers also became a major concert attraction, playing to packed houses in both smaller venues and larger ones too.

He also was embroiled in some controversies over the years involving improper use of the phone (I will leave it at that) and of his radical plastic surgery, but even through these negatives, nobody could argue about his talent.

He will certainly be missed.

But don't miss this blog tomorrow. I have no idea what I will write about, but you can be sure that with this pandemic in place and not yet ready to go away, I can guarantee that I will present you something that will take up a few minutes of your time while you try to stay as busy as you possibly can.

We will beat this thing; even "The Gambler" would bet on that.

Classic Rant #1,220 (June 3, 2014): Sterling Messes

Messes are things that have to be cleaned up, and there are two messes that are collecting now that need to be sopped up as quickly as possible.

One of them involves embattled Clippers owner Donald Sterling, who, it appears, will fight tooth and nail to retain his NBA franchise.

Sterling, you might remember, uttered some nasty things in private, had them tape recorded, and what he said was brought onto the world's stage, where people didn't take kindly to an old, wealthy Jewish guy making disparaging remarks about blacks.

What was worse, he said them to either his personal secretary or mistress or both, since he is going through a divorce.

The NBA banned him, forcing him to sell, and there is a buyer. But throw his ex-wife in the mix, the fact that it is illegal to tape record someone without their knowledge in the state of California, and that Sterling is a top lawyer, and you have a mess that won't go away.

Making it even worse is the fact that the credibility of his "Girl Friday" has always been in question. She is a wannabe, no doubt about it, but she seems to also be someone that I wouldn't trust on a bet.

Also, Sterling himself might be suffering from some type of dementia himself.

The other mess is in Washington, where a service man who was held captive in Afghanistan for the past five years was set free in a prisoner exchange last week.

That would be all fine and good, but there appears to be much more to this story that meets the naked eye.

First off, there are allegations that we gave up too much for one man, five prisoners at the Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, prison that are supposedly high-level operatives for the Taliban, or at least a few of them are.

Giving up one for five was never good in baseball cards, and it doesn't look good here.

Second, and this just came out late yesterday, it appears the captive that we are bringing home might not deserve the heroes welcome that he will get when he is finally goes home.

Some fellow service men say he is nothing but a deserter, someone who was fed up with what he was doing and decided to take a hike--in the wilds of Afghanistan, without any body armor or weapons.

Smart, eh?

Others who were in the same command that he was also say that men were wounded and killed looking for him, which makes the whole matter even worse if true.

Anyway, these two messes really have to be cleaned up soon, because the credibility of the NBA and the President of the United States look pretty bad now.

First off, in the NBA thing, the league knew about Sterling way before this incident, but did nothing about him. He is the senior owner in the league, was an owner before most of the players were born, but there were always questions about him.

Now, with things coming to light, Sterling might actually have the upper hand here, at least legally. Can the NBA force an owner out because of things he said in private that were recorded without his knowledge? I don't know.

And as for the other thing, which, of course, is so much more important than the NBA fiasco, if what certain people are saying is true, then we traded five "Mickey Mantles" for one "Ross Mosschito," and sorry, that doesn't make much sense, does it?

And to treat the guy like a hero because he basically got up and walked, what does that say about our own intelligence, not just brain-wise but also strategically?

These things don't make any sense, and they should be cleaned up immediately, before these messes fester into things that are so large that they can't be contained.

Rant #2,370: Ob-la-Di, Ob-la-Da (Life Goes On)

Yes, life does go on in the age of the coronavirus.

In fact, in a few minutes, I have to go to the local lab and get my blood taken for a future doctor's visit.

I then have to go and get my allergy shot, something that I was supposed to do on Saturday, but because of what is going on, was postponed until this morning.

I haven't been outside every day since the pandemic set in, but I have ventured outside on most days, even for a little while, and I see people driving their cars, walking their dogs, jogging, and taking the family out to stretch their legs.

I believe it is the patriotic thing to do.

I know that staying inside and practicing "social distancing"--already this year's winner of the "buzz-term" award--is what we are supposed to be doing, but going outside and doing your thing, even for a few minutes, well, I don't think there is anything wrong with that.

And while you are inside, what is there to do?

I have watched a couple of movies, as I always do on down time, and since life does go on, even in the era of the coronavirus, I would like to briefly tell you about two of them.

One of the films I watched was the 1975 film "Abduction," a 1875 movie that I remember seeing in the movie theater way back when that touched on the hot-button topic of the moment, the real-life abduction of heiress Patricia Hearst and her eventual induction into the Symbionese Liberation Army.

You might remember how much of a stir that caused, this wealthy heiress kidnapped from her home, savaged upon by her captors, and little by little, broken by them, through abuse that was real, You name it, they did it to her, and she finally broke through a case of the Stockholm Syndrome, where those abducted in one way or another actually eventually look up to their captors, and sometimes even join in their exploits.

Patricia Hearst did just that, eventually serving jail time for her misdeeds, but she then resurrected her life, became something of a pop figure, and kind of faded into oblivion.

The film is a fictional account of much of this, taking liberties all over the place, and the film is as amateurish as could be, sensationalizing the subject rather than making us understand how such a thing could actually happen.

Written by Kent Carroll and Harrison James and directed by Joseph Zito, and starring Judith-Marie Bergan and Leif Erickson, the film does show the brutality of what went on, but it demonstrates this brutality in a sexploitation sort of way, trying to engage the viewer into the horror of how this young woman was broken down, but actually using the sex scenes almost as a stepping stone to the next sex scene.

While it kind of gets its point across, by the end of the film, the viewer is left pretty hollow--was this film trying to show what can happen in a situation like this, or did it exist to show off the "talents" of Bergan, some shown on screen in an R-rated way?

You can see this film at https://youtu.be/Ipv1w1actg8

A much better film that I viewed this weekend was a movie that I have wanted to see for decades, and finally found available for viewing.

It is 1970's "The Honeymoon Killers," another film based on fact that takes as many liberties with its subject matter asd the previous film I described did, but uses what it has to maximum effect.

Written by Leonard Kastle and directed by kastle, Donald Volkman, and in some scenes, a very young Martin Scorcese, the movie, starring Shirley Stoler and Tony Lo Bianco, is based on the notorious year-long murder spree that got a lot of press in the post-war 1940s, where a philanderer and his lover set up phony marriages and then murdered the unsuspecting lonely hearts that they had set up.

Shot in black and white and moved up to the late 1960s, the movie is so low-fi that it addes to the brutality of these two losers, with Lo Bianco playing the hustler who preyed on these lonely heart women, and Stoler playing his accomplice, who got involved with this so-called Lothario because, he, too, philandered her.

But there was an attraction between the two characters that made this sort of crime-ridden "Batman and Robin" pair attached to each other with glue.

Yes, the film is somewhat exploitive in nature, but the script and the actors bring out that these two were truly losers, who eventually got pleasure out of not only philandering these lonely hearts, but then doing away with them. They were lonely hearts themselves, but when encountering others like them, they had to get rid of them to move on with their own lives.

Both LoBianco and Stoler are completely believeable as this wretched pair, with literal smarm dripping off of them in every scene.

This is an excellent movie to pass nearly two hours, and I would highly, highly recommend it. You can see this film in its entirety at https://youtu.be/nN9vtTx8xqQ

So yes, I am trying to keep busy

It isn't easy, but yes, life goes on, and it should for you too.

Let's not let this thing really get us--let us get it.

Classic Rant #1,219 (June 2, 2014): "Sons" Rise, "Sons" Sets

With everything going on with me the past few weeks, I have been distracted from the things that I cherish most to relax with, since I really haven't relaxed at all lately.

One of those things is television, something that I really do cherish, always have, always will.

It relaxes me while it brings the world into my home.

What I am going to talk about isn't monumental by any stretch of the imagination, but it does affect what I watch on TV.

"My Three Sons" is no more, at least no more on MeTV.

The network--which features old shows from the 1950s, 1960s and lately, the 1970s--has decided that it has had enough with this all-time great family show, chronicling the daily maneuvers of the Douglas clan, and it has removed it from its program schedule, in its own words "indefinitely."

They usually change the schedule during the summer, so normally, I would not fret as much as I am doing now.

But the use of the word "indefinitely" tells me that MeTV and the Douglas clan have parted ways.

In its place, they have put on another family show, "Make Room For Daddy," which is a good show, but sorry, it is not "My Three Sons."

MeTV showed a group of the color episodes of "My Three Sons," and that was it. They did not show the much better black and white episodes, and they did not show the later color episodes.

So of the 380 shows that made up the "My Three Sons" catalog, they might have shown maybe 110-150 of the episodes, tops.

But those were the core episodes that I grew up on, when I regularly started to watch the show in 1965 or so, when Barry Livingston's "Ernie" character was adopted by the Douglases, so those were the shows that made me enamored of the show in general.

I discovered the black and white episodes when they were shown on "Nick at Nite," and honestly, the later episodes I haven't seen in decades.

Personally, I don't need the show to be on MeTV, because I do have all the episodes as a bootleg, but it was nice having them on, and available, on a daily basis.

Where the show will turn up, or if it will turn up anywhere, is unknown right now. It is an old fashioned, traditional type of show, and my hope is that Antenna TV picks it up, or perhaps one of the other outlets that show old TV shows puts it on their respective schedules.

I miss the daily plays of the show even though it has only been off the air for a week now, I really do.

Hopefully, the show will turn up elsewhere. The Douglases were like my own personal next door neighbors, and I think that was the beauty of the show for so many people from 1960 to 1972, and then in reruns.

They rarely tackled current issues, although their treatment of blended families certainly pre-dated "The Brady Bunch." Their handling of Ernie's adoption saga was one of show's greatest story arcs, and it even stands out today as something special, showing the power of television to both entertain and teach at the same time.

So I hope that they bring the show back, somewhere. It was off TV too long to begin with, and then it came back, and for me, it was too short a time.

Let's see what happens as the summer plays itself out.

And let me conclude with some news that I just found out--Ann B. Davis, who played "Alice," the live-in housekeeper on "The Brady Bunch," passed away.

I never was a fan of this show, but I watched it with my sister when it was originally on.

It is banal, corny, completely unrealistic, and pretty dry.

But it stands as a cultural touchstone for my generation, the Baby Boomers, so I guess it was what it was.

And Davis' character held the whole thing together in her own way.

She was one of a long line of "servants" on television, but she had her own way about her that made her one of the first of that ilk to be more than a cooker and a sewer and a cleaner.

She was an integral part of the show.

So we will all miss Davis, who in real life, was as dedicated to her faith as millions of viewers were to "The Brady Bunch."

R.I.P. Se

Rant #2,369: It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

Yes it is.

And if I needed affirmation of that, I certainly received it right in my face the past two days, all generated by the mass hysteria generated by the terrible outbreak of the coronavirus.

As I spoke about yesterday, I was actualy hired for a part-time seasonal job with the Long Island Ducks Atlantic League baseball team, a league that might not start its 2020 season at all based on the pandemic's reach.

I am certainly not looking a gift horse in the mouth, and I thank the Ducks for having the faith in me that no other employer has shown in the more than five months I have been out of work, but getting this job at this time is like waking up on Christmas Day and not getting any presents.

Then yesterday, I decided that my son and I would go out by mid-morning and see what was out there in our local supermarkets. Since so many people were so selfish early on during this panic period, and since they pretty much skirted any laws of sanity and bought up the store store in preparation for 2040 and not right now in 2020, I had heard that certain items were on low supply or non-existent, so I took my son with me to not only buy for our family, but to buy for my elderly parents needs, too.

We went directly to King Kullen, the venerable Long Island grocer which is supposedly being bought up by a competitor and may no longer exist as "King Kullen" in a few months, although I have read that that purchase is not yet a done deal.

Anyway, we found about 90 percent of what we needed, meaning all the non-food items that we needed, we found. No problem, we paid for them, and moved onto another store to look for certain meat and chicken that both we and my parents wanted.

I decided to go to Key Food, another long-time New York stalwart supermarket, which has a beautiful store on the other side of town from me. I had been in the store several times, the most recent time was about a week ago, and even during this crazy period, they seemed to have much of everything, except toilet paper and some other items that my family and my parents did not need.

So we went there, simply bent on getting some chicken and meat--including hot dogs, chicken breast and some chicken dark meat items that my parents love--and we had absolutely no problem getting exactly what we came in for. In fact, I was able to get my wife some spicy sausage that she loves too.

We paid for our choosings, and went home, full of glee that we did not encounter much of any supply shortages. Sure, we might of hit the two stores just right, but whatever the case, everything was copacetic. All the panic shoppers--really the greedy, selfish shoppers--have made their purchases for the next millennium, so they aren't in these stores anymore, so all that we encountered were shoppers with their heads on straight, just looking to purchase what they needed and not stock up like they were stocking their own personal fallout shelters.

We came home, and that was that for the food, Little did I know that my day would later turn out to be a horror show.

I got a wonderful call from my son's work, telling me that yes, I should file for unemployment for him if I could, and on the other hand, yes, when everything gets back to normal, he has his job waiting for him. This was in response to an email I sent them late the previous day, basically asking for any advice they could give me related to my son's supposedly brief period of inactivity.

I felt so wonderful about it--and so wonderful about what the two people who called me told me about my son--that after the phone call was over, I sat there and cried like a baby. My wife and I are so proud of our son, the hurdles he has scaled and the challenges he has met and exceeded, that it all really hit me at once how great it is to be a parent to this fantastic young man.

After lunch, I decided to file for unemployment for him, and that is where my nearly seven-hour horror show began, and it still has no end as I type this up right now at about 7 a.m. this morning.

I tried and I tried and I tried, but the New York State Department of Labor Unemployment site is so swamped with activity, that I could never file a full claim for him. I could set up an account--which I did--but as far as fully filing for him, no way, no how.

I spent the better part of the afternoon trying, and even tried to set it up via telephone, but again, no way, no how.

I got to the last portion of the application exactly two times, and both times, when it said "Submit," I hit the button and it crashed on me, giving me a message saying I would have to start all over again. I did this through the afternoon and up to 7:30 p.m., and simply gave up.

I will try again in about a half hour, but I can't sit in front of the computer and do this like I did yesterday, because I have to take my father to his doctor today, not an emergency visit but a visit that cannot be postponed.

All this worries me down to the bone, but what worries me perhaps the most is that when I have to put in my weekly claim for unemployment this weekend, that I won't be able to do so because of all the heavy volume. And yes, I do worry about my son, who has worked hard and deserves some compensation for this work like anybody else in his situation does.

Who to blame for all of this? Well, we have a governor of this state who sits in his ivory tower and delegates the populace to do this and that on his orders, but without any idea that what he says and does has consequences far beyond feathering his own immense ego.

Case in point: yesterday, when people like me are in such a quagmire, he comes out with some bubbemeiser story about one of his wonderful daughters, who so bravely decided to forego her own spring break plans due to the coronavirus. Well, duh, isn't that what she is supposed to be doing, not congregating with others like some college age idiots are doing in Florida as we speak? I know he was using her as an example of what young people should be doing, but isn't that what sheer common sense would dictate at this point in time? And who really cares about his daughter other than him as a parent? How is this soothing the public's soul?

What a real doofus we have in Albany! (Yes, I know, I talked about my kid earlier, but I am not the governor of New York State trying to heal his constituents. There is a great difference.)

I hope that when his time comes up, New York State voters remember things like this, and vote him out, but they probably won't, because the voters of this state are among the most ignorant bunch I have seen, voting in people like him and others only to kick them to the curb at the slightest drop of the hat. We seem to do that better than anyone, so I don't think people will have long memories.

To paraphrase our lordly governor, things WERE once great in the state and the country until people like you took over, and now you are tight, things aren't that great.

And that is that from my neck of the woods. I will try, try again, hope against hope, and maybe I will actually have some good news for you on Monday.

Have a good weekend. I will speak to you then.