Rant #2,443: Who Am I?

Good question.

I know who I am, but I wanted some verification about that, and that is where this situation began.

After much hesitancy about doing this, several weeks ago I contacted one of those ancestry groups and decided to pay for a kit to find out exactly who I am.

They were running a sale, so I figured that I had nothing to lose--except the purchase price--and I might as well get this done.

I thought if nothing more, it would be a nice glimpse into my history, and my family;s history.

This began a saga that continues to this day.

Not only haven't I found out who I am, I have yet to enjoy the benefits of such a service.

Why, you might ask?

Because as of this date, the service has not yet been able to pick up anything from my saliva sample that I have sent them now three times, going on the fourth time.

I have done everything that they have told me to do--do it in the morning, do it without eating, tap your cheeks to loosen matter from your cheeks that would go into the saliva--but at this juncture, they have written me back three times saying that they were not able to use my saliva, and to do it again.

And the funny thing is that through correspondence on Facebook, I have found that I am not alone in this quest that has so far led nowhere.

Others have written in and said that they, too, have not been able to provide a saliva sample that could be used, and they are as frustrated as I am about their own personal circumstance of failure.

At first, I thought it was perhaps due to the medicine that I take to get me through the day, my cholesterol pills and the allergy shots I get each month, but others have told me that they take even more pills and medicine than I do, and they have not had any problems with the service.

Is it possible that some people's saliva does not contain the various genetic codes needed for such a process to work? I don't know, but I do know that if, in fact, this is true, then I am the poster child for this situation.

I told myself that I would try this three times, and like in baseball, if I miss three times, I have struck out, and I want my money back.

But then I thought about it, and I figured I would go with this for the duration, whether it takes four tries or 14. I sent in my money to find out who I was, so why not do just that?

I have nothing to lose by trying again, because they do not charge you for retries, so why not go with it and see it out?

So with my fourth try ready to come to me, I am going to do it again, and hopefully, this saliva will work.

If anyone out there has done this and has any tips, please let me know. The actual company has given me tips, others have too, but still, I come up with nothing.

I really would like to get this done. It has almost become a quest, something that I have decided I must see out to make everything right in my world.

I have to say that my wife said from the very beginning that she thought these things were scams, and the companies did this to gather information and then sell it to whoever.

As for me, I just think it would be interesting to find out who I am, period, even though I kind of know the answer before even taking the test.

But there might be something in there that startles me, that makes me think, and that is what I am going for.

Well, I am going to try for the fourth time once the kit comes to me.

Let's hope that since the third time wasn't the charm, the fourth time won't the legendary "Golden Sombrero" in baseball, where a batter strikes out four times in a single game.

Even with my bald head, that type of hat I don't need.