Rant #2,440: Shoppin' From A To Z

I am not from the great shoppers of our generation.

I do go shopping for food each week, whether with my wife or without her, depending on the situation at hand. A busy Saturday forces me to shop on Friday night after work, for instance.

Clothing shopping ... well, fuggedaboudit!

I absolutely hate to shop for clothes, and I would rather wear the same clothes over and over than go through the hassle of shopping for new things to wear.

And don't get me started on shoes.

I have hated shoe shopping since the beginning of my time on this earth.

I think that I just hated anyone touching my feet when I was a kid, but it simply got worse as an adult.

When I got older, I needed a EEE width for my shoes, and during those years, these types of shoes were not as plentiful in the shoe stores as they are now. I can distinctly remember going with my mother from one shoe store to another to try to find shoes and sneakers for me.

Compounding the process was that I have big feet for my stature; I am just 5 '9", but I have a size 12 foot, or it can be even bigger depending on how certain shoes are sized.

Yes, shopping is annoying, I hate it, and if I did not have to do it, I would be really, really happy.

Even online shopping is annoying to me, although I have done it numerous times.

But I won't buy certain things online.

I don't understand how anybody buys groceries online. Part of the experience of doing food shopping is to actually "experience" the food you are buying: feel it, smell it, and decide whether you are going to buy it, or another such item.

You simply cannot do that with an online purchase, in particular if you are buying things like produce, salad stuff, fruit ... stuff that is good for you.

I cannot ever imagine buying bananas online, nor apples, nor lettuce, nor onions; there is no way you are going to get what you think you are getting with such purchases.

I will buy T-shirts online, but I truly don't understand how people buy their entire wardrobes in this manner.

Clothes are meant to be tried on before making a purchase, checking for fit and look. You can't do that by making purchases online, You can't possibly see if something fits or looks good on you, or both, with an online purchase.

And again, don't get me started on shoes. There is no way I would ever purchase shoes or sneakers online, because you really have to try on footwear before deciding to make a purchase.

And for the ladies reading this column ... explain to me how you purchase undergarments--bras in particular--online. I cannot understand how you would trust simply sight to decided whether a bra was good for you, because of all your garments, women seem to complain about bras the most--they don't fit right, they dig into you, etc.

But alas, I do enjoy some purchasing, some shopping, both online and in brick-and-mortar stores.

And since I am a confirmed record collector, you just know that I love to buy records, no matter where I can get them.

Buying them in a store is part of whatever relaxation I can get, part of the total experience of looking at dozens of vinyl records and deciding which one I absolutely have to have; buying them online is often a really quick purchase, so purchasing records is a different animal however you do it.

The only other shopping that I like to do is for an occasion, like a birthday or an anniversary.

And I will really be enjoying myself during the coming months, because I have several purchases to make for special occasions.

My wife has her birthday on November 10, and I think I have figured out just the right gift for her, which I will purchases online.

My father has his 88th birthday on November 30, so I have to figure out what to get the man who has everything.

Hanukkah is coming up in December, so I am sure it will be gift cards--and nothing but gift cards--once again.

And then on December 26, my sister turns 60 years of age. I have always bought something for my sister's birthday, going back decades, but since this birthday is extra special, i have decided to go the nostalgia kick, concentrating on when we were growing up in Queens and sharing a room.

I have made two purchases to this date--both done online--and I think I need a few more gifts to make the celebration complete, and without breaking the bank.

Yes, David Cassidy here I come, but it won't be just David, it will be some other things that represent that time and place,when my sister and I shared a room from the time she was born in late 1959 to late July 1971, when we moved to Long Island and we each had, for the first time, our own room.

I am sure I will talk about this situation again sometime soon, but I am more than happy to spend reasonable bucks on things that will clearly represent that time--and give us a few laughs in return.

So, to sum up, I guess I don't totally or completely hate shopping, but the only shopping I like is fun shopping, not shopping for potatoes or my next pair of shoes.

I will never be a "shop 'til you drop" person, but I guess a little shopping never hurt anybody.