Classic Rant #789 (August 10, 2012): You Have Your Pinched Nerve!

I was in real good spirits yesterday.

I secured what I wanted--Monkees tickets for the upcoming short tour they will be doing in November and early December--and I felt like I was on top of the world.

The problem was, and still is, that I am in pain, and a lot of it.

On Sunday, I awoke to find that I had a lot of pain in my right arm. From the shoulder down to my fingers, I seemed to have a shooting pain that would not go away.

I also discovered that I had a mass of what looked like small teeth marks on the side of my left hand.

My left hand itched; my right arm throbbed.

The itch went away, the pain persisted in my right arm.

I finally went to the doctor yesterday, and it appears that I have a pinched nerve in my neck that is affecting my right arm.

Moreover, on my left hand, I have spider bites.

Yes, spider bites.

Last week, as I left for work, I walked through the front door as I always do, and strolled right into two massive spider webs that encased the front door.

My initial shock at walking into these things was what you'd expect: I said an expletive and tried to wipe the thing off of me, my arms, my head, you name it was covered in it.

This happened two days in a row. I guess the third day, the spider got the message and moved on ...

But not before it bit me.

It must have been a pretty big spider, because it literally looks like teeth marks on my hand.

And no, it was apparently not a radioactive spider, so I won't be climbing the walls and turning into Spider-Man anytime soon.

My right arm is another story.

It throbbed so bad at times yesterday that I thought I was going to pass out. It still does to this moment, and is hurting as I am typing this.

The doctor told me it might have been the way I slept, that the way my arm was positioned might have forced the nerve to pinch.

I have two prescriptions out today for an ointment for my hand and some pills for my arm.

The doctor said the bites would clear up in days; the pinched nerve might not clear up for two weeks.

So, I am supposed to be happy, but I'm not.

I'm in a lot of pain, but hopefully, when I start taking the medications later today, I will be fine.

I hope so.

It's one thing being bitten by a Monkees bug, but to be bitten by a spider, well, "Randy Scouse Git" to that!