Rant #1,620: Frankly Speaking

If you are a regular reader of this column, you know that a few Rants ago, I told you about the revolutionary concept that Burger King was going to employee on its menu--offering customers hot dogs along with the usual hamburgers and all the other stuff they serve.

The idea was to come to fruition on February 23, and the fast food landscape would be changed forever.

Well, that day has come and gone, and like a good soldier, I actually went out and taste tested the Burger King hot dogs for you.

You can still have it your way, and your choices are two: the Classic, with ketchup, mustard, chopped onions, and relish; and Chili Cheese, which is pretty much self explanatory.

You can get them separately, or as part of their usual value meal with a drink and either fries or onion rings.

The idea is a very good one, because none of the big boys--MacDonald's or Wendy's--offer hot dogs on their respective menus.

Sonic does, and a few others do, but generally, the fast food places have stayed away from hot dogs, because I think they are so known for their hamburgers that they feel people simply won't bite in getting hot dogs.

But back to the chase ...

I tried both varieties of Burger King hot dog, and I basically got what I thought I was going to get, nothing more, nothing less.

These are not Hebrew National or Nathan's frankfurters, these are Oscar Mayer hot dogs, and as a hot dog lover, I know the difference right away.

You bite into a Hebrew National or Nathan's frankfurter, and you actually taste the meat. It has the right ingredients and spices, and it makes your mouth happy.

The Burger King hot dog--designed so that it can cook on the same apparatus they use to cook their hamburgers--is devoid of any flavor. It has a sort of crunch, but it has no flavor at all, simply meat rolled into a casing.

The toppings are what can make or break a hot dog, and quite frankly, being from New York, a hot dog without sauerkraut is like me without pants on. I can go about my business, but it just isn't right.

Well, the Burger King hot dogs are devoid of sauerkraut, so they are kind of naked in a way, at least to me.

And to put ketchup on a hot dog--no, it does not go. It goes against any rule of a proper hot dog.

The other fixings give the total package some flavor, but it is a dull flavor. The chili, for one, is as bland as the ketchup, and almost tastes like nothing more than ketchup.

The chopped onions have no oomph, nor does the relish.

The toppings are Heinz toppings--including the mustard, ketchup and relish--and Burger King and Heinz are part of the same company, natch, so it is like the hot dog is a cross-marketing tool for the company, more so than it is actually good tasting.

So what you have here are hot dogs that are flat in taste--but that does not mean that this experiment is a failure--far from it.

These will act as add-ons to regular meals of hamburgers. They were not added as a replacement for the famous BK burgers, but I will bet that someone that isn't necessarily satisfied with just having a Whopper will add on a hot dog for $1.99.

It also sets Burger King apart from its main competitors, and kids will probably love the hot dogs.

Yes, Burger King knew what it was doing when it added on hot dogs, and I am sure they are going to become a big hit with its customers.

So while I don't think it is very good taste-wise, Burger King was smart-wise in adding hot dogs to the menu ... and sometimes, it is better to be smarter than the competition than to actually offer something that is viable to the populace.

That is a sad truth, but the Burger King hot dog is here to stay, and whether it tastes good or not, it really doesn't matter.

What can be next from Burger King? Perhaps their own tacos, maybe sushi, who knows?

Whatever it is, it will give them one step up on the competition, and in the fast food wars, that is all that really matters.