Classic Rant #141 (November 28, 2009): Getting the Tiger By the Tale

Now that we are all back to work after the Thanksgiving holiday, we can move beyond the mundane topics of the world to discuss something of such pressing concern that I am getting a massive migraine thinking about it ...

So what was Tiger Woods doing running around at 2:30 a.m. in the morning?

Heck, I don't know, and neither do the authorities in the Florida town where all this craziness happened.

Evidently, he doesn't want to talk about it, and doesn't want to talk to authorities about it. He has issued some innocuous statement, but he really didn't say too much, did he?

Gossip mavens claim it had to do with a physical altercation with this wife that erupted over allegations that Tiger was fooling around with a Hamptons party planner. It reportedly got so heated that Mrs. Tiger scratched her husband in the face with her long nails. He ran out of the house, went into his car, pulled out of his driveway, and got into an accident. His wife, ever true to her husband even with negative thoughts about him running through her body, rushed out of the house and pulled him out of the damaged car by breaking its back window.

The golfer's injuries were minor, but his and the Mrs.'s reaction to the police were kind of weird. They refused to talk to the cops, and still do, I believe, but some police action, in the name of charges, is pending.

The more this story goes on without an explanation, the more over-par the whole thing seems. I mean, if you or I have marriage difficulties, we don't broadcast it to the world.

Well, he is a public figure, and with all the riches go the errant shots. His whole life has been seemingly unfolding before us since he made his first national TV appearance--on The Mike Douglas Show, I believe it was--when he was all of three years old and a budding golf phenom, even at that age. He makes big bucks, is as ubiquitous as Oprah, and even people who couldn't give a hoot about golf know his name--like me.

Does he and the wife owe it to the public to divulge what happened that night? I don't think so, but if charges are filed, they will probably have to fess up to some degree.

Now, if he just hadn't run over that fire hydrant ...