Classic Rant #136 (November 19, 2009): Johnny Depp Turns Some People On

Johnny Depp, he of the numerous "Pirates of the Caribbean" films and many other weird and unusual movies, was named People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" for the second time.

I am happy for him.

But what does this all mean?

Does it mean that he is the male of the species that every male should epitomize? Is he the guy who sets the tone for all other males? Is he the human being that women salivate over, bar none?

I just don't know. I can't figure the whole thing out myself.

If you saw him in the "Pirates" movies--which by the way, I have pretty much enjoyed, although the third one was tedious--he plays sort of an effeminate clone of the Rolling Stones' Keith Richards, shaking his hips around like a go-go dancer.

Does this turn women on?

How about in "Edward Scissorhands," probably his best movie, where he played a guy with, well, scissors for hands?

I guess he satisfied a female fantasy of a hairdresser that was really into his work.

On "21 Jump Street," he played a young-looking, undercover cop who could blend in with the teen crowd while making arrests.

Well, I guess this turned on the teenyboppers, who have stayed with him even though they are now in their 40s and 50s and have kids of their own.

Whatever it is, Johnny Depp has it. I guess I don't, but I have lots of other things ... like this blog.

Does Johnny Depp have a blog? I do! Heck, I have two of them!

I am sure he will be up for consideration again in the future. He will be doing another "Pirates" film, he is set to play Tonto in a movie version of the Lone Ranger, and, get this ladies ...

He is slated to play Barnabas in the big screen version of "Dark Shadows"! (Please see my previous post on TV shows redone for the big screen--PLEASE!)

Anyway, good luck to Johnny Depp, and I will bet if people got to know me better, I could become People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive"' too.

Hiyo Silver, Away!