Rant #3,971: Gone, Gone, Gone

A funny thing happened on the way to the local supermarket ...

I went to a local supermarket the other day, because I needed seltzer, which I drink much more than I drink plain water ...

My doctors say that after what I went through, I have to drink plenty of water, and since they said seltzer is OK, too, I went for that drink as my go-to beverage for what ails me.

So I decided to take a short drive to this local supermarket, which I only shop in when I don't want to drive farther away for one or two grocery items.

They are very, very expensive, and when the pandemic started, it was the only place we could get a 24-pack of water ...

Driven up by about double for what it sold for a week before, so yes, they are a price gouger, too.

Anyway, I went to this supermarket for my eight-pack of seltzer, found it, noticed that it was priced at a dollar more than anywhere else, but for convenience sake, I went with it.

Since I had only one item, I went to the self-service area, took out my cash, and was ready to go--

But then I found that none of the self-checkouts took cash anymore.

The store wasn't busy, thank goodness, so I took the seltzer to an open register, where a young cashier was evidently being trained.

I made my cash purchase, received my change, and since a regular cashier was there training this new recruit, I decided to ask a pertinent question:

"Why don't the self-service checkouts take cash anymore? I have used them in the past, they took cash, so why don't they anymore?"

The veteran cashier replied, "It has to do with pennies. We can't get pennies from our bank, so we can't stock the self-checkouts with pennies, so the machines can't give you exact change."

(As you probably know, the federal government has stopped producing new pennies, supposedly because it costs more to produce a penny that it is worth, but the real reason they can get away with this is that a majority of consumers are using debit and credit cards, not cash, to pay for their purchases, large and small.)

I heard this reply, and I said, "Look, that is a poor excuse. Self-checkouts are for customer convenience, so we don't have to wait on lines that are out the door for one item during busier times than this ...

"Further, other supermarkets like X and XX still offer cash self-checkouts, so that really is a poor excuse. You are supposed to be serving your customers, and your aren't doing that with this new policy."

(And yes X and XX still do offer cash self-checkouts--I just used one the other day--but I am not naming them here, as I am not naming the store I was in where I was having this discussion.)

The store manager came over, and reiterated that they cannot get pennies from their bank, so they can't have cash self-checkouts ...

And I reiterated, again, that that was a poor excuse, and that they should switch their bank, because by not having cash self-checkouts, in particular during busy times, the store is forcing people who want to pay cash for one or two items to wait on long lines.

"Switch banks," I said, as I looked at the change the new cashier gave me. "You are not providing convenience to customers with one or two items, forcing them to wait on long lines."

I looked at my hand, where my change was, and I was astonished--

The new cashier shorted me in my change.

"You shorted me in my change," I told him, shaking my head in disgust, as the discussion about the self-checkouts kind of played into what I was saying.

He apologized, gave me my correct change--a situation, of course, that would not have happened if I could have used the self-checkouts to pay cash for my one item, as the machine would have given me exact change, proving my point--and I left, telling the manager--

"Because of your new policy, you have lost me as a customer."

And that was that.

Having reported on this industry for 30 years--the military end of it--I can tell you that supermarkets live--and die--on being convenient for customers.

If you remove one of those conveniences, you are ticking off customers like me, and you are losing customers too.

And while I don't regularly shop this supermarket anyway, I will certainly think twice about going there again if I am forced to either wait on a long line to check out one item or use my debit card at the self-checkout to get out of there with one item in a timely manner.

And I am sure I am not the only one, so whether it is a few of us or a number of us, this supermarket is not going to come off smelling like roses with its new policy.

More like dead fish in its appetizing department, if you ask me.