Rant #3,323: Just Another Day

In the midst of talking about April Fools' Day yesterday, I completely forgot to ask you this question:

How was your Easter?

Sorry about that.

But honestly, for my family and I, since it is not our holiday, it was just another day.

It is nice that the baseball season has started, as that is what I did on Easter Sunday ... watched baseball, as I would do on any Sunday during the baseball season.

So it was truly "just another day."

I would use "JAD," but for some reason, that acronym has never caught on on the Internet, like "LOL" or "IMHO" has.

Maybe "JAD" should, too.

Anyway, about me ... I guess I am doing better .... in small increments.

I am hopeful that I can lick this thing, upbeat about my chances and my future, but since I still have many months of rehab to go, I can get a little down on things here and there and everywhere as much as I can be on the positive side of things.

My left leg remains swollen, but it is more maneuverable than it was

I am getting closer to a 90 percent maneuverability rate, but of course, I have to be well beyond that to get back to where I was.

I still can't shower without help--it remains difficult to get in and out of the tub, and I can't dress myself--or undress myself, for that matter--just yet.

Getting on and off socks and shoes remains a problem ... I just cannot get my left sock and shoe on and off by myself at the present time.

I walk with the crutches and a walker, and when I go outside, I still have to wear a brace.

That period is, happily, coming to an end, because by mid-April, my doctor/surgeon says I can ditch the brace, hopefully for good.

That is when I can practice going in and out of my car, in preparation to start driving again by my birthday, April 28.

That has always been my first goal, and I am sticking with it.

I am not wearing the brace in the house, but even though it is not on me very much at all anymore, it still feels like it is on even when it isn't.

The only way to explain this is that we have heard that people who lose limbs still feel as if they have them even when the arm or leg is gone--

And I wore that brace for so long that the feeling of wearing the brace remains, even though I am not wearing it.

Thus, my leg feels a bit heavy--the brace does have some weight to it--and while I am not in pain, I still have the feeling of injury--it is not discomfort, necessarily, but it is difficult to explain.

The "feeling of injury" is still there.

Mentally and emotionally ... those have become the most difficult things to combat.

I still have a bit of anxiety about this entire mess that I am in, and some days are better than others, and some days are worse than others.

My sleep pattern still isn't great.

I cannot sleep in the bed at all--except for naps of short duration during the day--and at night, I still sleep two hours here, an hour there ... but all in the living room, often with the TV on as white noise.

I have started to use a small dose of melatonin, an over-the-counter drug which assists the user in sleep.

I guess it has helped a bit, because since using it, although my sleep is not continuous, at least I am sleeping.

For example, my most recent sleep had me dozing off in the living room while watching TV with my son at probably about 9:30 p.m., and while I did get up briefly once or twice, I finally got up for good at about 4:45 a.m.

This is obviously not the optimal time to rise for the day, but if you add everything up, I must have slept about seven hours, which isn't too terrible, and I was able to get back to sleep after briefly waking up once or twice.

I would prefer sleeping in the bed, but whether I sleep in the bed, in a chair or on the couch, it is quite uncomfortable, so I will, right now at least, take the sleep where I can get it.

And yes, I am still working ... and the past two weeks have been hellish with the amount of work I have had to do, and this week won't be any better.

I have another conference to cover, and it is going to be even more difficult to cover this virtually, because I won't be fully dedicated to it, as I have physical therapy and other things to attend to while this thing is on ... and hopefully, there won't be any of those audio problems I had two weeks ago!

So I will have to skip the next two days of Ranting, to give me time to write up the two-day meeting.

I will speak to you again on Friday.

Anyway, everything I said here today just revolves back to "just another day," or JAD again.

And I am going to say the following again, and I will say it ad infinitum into the future until things change, if they ever will:

What is retirement? This can't possibly be what retirement is all about--

Four-and-a-half years and running ...

This simply cannot be retirement, it just can't be.

JAD ... JAD ... JAD ... .