Rant #3,161: Making Every Minute Count

Short Rant today.

I have been tending to my mother, and unlike yesterday’s Rant, where I began typing things out at like 2 a.m. in the morning, today, I only started typing this out at about 7:30 a.m.

First off, thanks for all of the suggestions and other good words you had to say yesterday to me after that historic, bombastic and quite frankly, overblown Rant.

I went on and on because I needed to go on and on, and every word that I wrote I stand by as 1,000-percent truth—and I have absolutely no regrets for putting it up for all to read.

My family and I are in a real pickle here, with different thoughts going through my head at all times of the day and night.

As an example, I did not finish my day yesterday—meaning writing, working, taking care of my mother’s needs, helping my son and my wife as much as I could, speaking to medical personnel and even managing to do food shopping—until exactly 9:59 p.m.

I know that that was the time because I looked at my watch, it was that time, so I watched TV with my son for exactly one minute ,,, for the three hours before that, I ate dinner, chug-a-lugged soda like it was water, and tended to the mail—a lot of it having to do with my mother—and phone calls and many other things.

Top to bottom, it was one of the worst days of my life, but I did get things done that needed to be done.

Right now, I have no life, little time to relax, and I so wanted to watch the Yankees’ afternoon game from Oakland yesterday, but I missed doing that by several hours.

This holiday weekend might be a time to slow down a bit, as my sister and her family will take over the responsibility of caring for my mother starting on Saturday over to Sunday, so I will frankly have one single night of peace.

Today, while my mom and I both slept through the night, she got up at about 5:30 a.m. and I tended to her needs until about 7:30, and then I snuck in a little breakfast and then I started to type this all out.

So I am already pooped, and I have a busy day ahead of me.

My sister and I have opted for at-home hospice care for our mother, and we do have in some women who take care of my mother during the day on weekdays.

But when they leave for the day, it is pretty much all on me to get my mother ready for bed, and it isn’t easy.

And we have the monitor by my bed, so I am literally at the beck and call of my mother overnight, and as I said, it is not easy.

I am still coming the grips with the double-edged sword that is hanging over my head now—my mother is very sick, and my home situation might actually be in a worse condition.

Everything is intertwined, as my mother’s longevity is tied in with the longevity that we can stay in our home … and that bothers me to no end.

My family and I are in a horrible position on both ends of that sword, but I have to push on, because that is the way it is—

And even more importantly, that is the way it absolutely has to be.

Have a great weekend, have a great July 4, and I am going to take a couple of days off to breathe a little bit, so I will speak to you again on Wednesday.