Rant #3,155: Superman

Today is going to be a very difficult day for me, a day that I will have to get through, and I am determined to do just that.

I have to take my mother to the doctor for a follow-up and learn about immunotherapy, a process where the person’s body itself is used to maybe not fully heal what is ailing the person, but at least keep whatever ails them at bay and on an even keel.

My mother, at age 92 and in a very frail condition, is absolutely not a candidate for chemotherapy, so this is our only recourse to keep her quality of life as good as it can be.

It is a controversial therapy, has its good points and bad points, but we really don’t have any other avenues to go down with my mother, so we are going to try this and see how it all works.

This is not the forum to go too deeply into this process, but information is widely available all over the Internet if you are interested.

We do have help coming in for my mother, trained health care professionals who have a lot of experience with the elderly, and older folks at this stage of the game too, but it does come at a monetary cost.

Would my mother be better off in a nursing home? Perhaps she would, but the familiar surroundings of her being home after nearly three weeks in the hospital really have been amazing, even in such a short period of time.

She was able to get around with a walker and with some help, she has eaten pretty well since being home—she even had ice cream—and I just see a little bit of confidence in her that she did not exhibit in the hospital.

But yes, after what she has been through, she mainly sleeps, which does help her healing but also demonstrates how truly weak and frail she is.

So today is going to be a major challenge, including getting her in and out of the car, but I will have a health care professional with me, so perhaps it will be a bit easier than I think it is going to be.

I have played it up with my mother, telling her that she will finally see my new car, but honestly, I would rather have my old car and have her like she was than having a new car and having her like she is.

The dementia she has was almost manageable, in a weird sort of way, but this other stuff she has … I just don’t know.

Me, I am just taking it one day at a time.

Somehow, I have managed to fit in my work in between everything, although I have not had the time to do as much as I usually do.

There are only 24 hours in a day, and sometimes, I am doing stuff at all hours—see yesterday’s Rant—and it is never enough, but it is the best I can do at the moment.

I guess my relaxation comes at weird times right now, like when I take and pick up my son from work and yes, when I write up this blog entry each day.

We have another family challenge today.

Today, I can’t pick up my son from work because I will be with my mom, so my wife is going to have to do it.

She was recently given the OK by her own doctor to drive short distances, but still suffering fron this head injury she has—happily, she is getting better every day—this is going to be a bit of a challenge for her, but I think she can do it.

I wish I had something great to tell you, something positive, something uplifting, but right now, things are at a low ebb, and I almost feel that I am drowning in the high tide.

But knowing myself, whatever happens, I will get through it.

I think I have proven over the past few years that I have the ability to shrug things off—even something like what I am going through now—and make diamonds out of coal.

It is a very difficult process, but the gift of laughter that I have certainly helps matters.

And then I look at my son, just like I looked at my daughter this past weekend, and I know that I have to push on, no matter what the obstacles are in front of me.

They need their father to be strong, and that really keeps me going.

I have to be strong for my wife as she goes through her ups and downs, I have to be strong for my kids, and I certainly have to be strong for my mom.

I might not be Superman, but at this juncture, a little Clark Kent will do.