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Monday, November 23, 2020

Rant #2,538: Dead Men Tell No Tales



The Undertaker rang up his last victim last night, and it was—
 
Himself.
 
Mark Calaway, who portrayed the iconic anti-hero fro the past 30 years in first the WWF and now the current WWE, has left the tombstone behind, finally, and retired for good.
 
He did it on the wrestling organization’s Internet platform, the highly successful WWE Network last night after the final match of the WWE’s pay-per-view Survivor Series match was over, and the character was finally laid to rest.
 
It seems that even if you are not a WWE or pro wrestling fan, you have at the least heard about the Undertaker, a sort of anti-hero/villain/good guy for the times we live in, and undead wrestler who always rose to the occasion, and did away with opponents with obvious glee.
 
Calaway is an imposing figure to begin with, His 6 foot, 10 inch, probably well over 300 lbs, figure would scare the heck out of anyone, but he took the character that he helped craft to new levels, winning the WWF/WWE heavyweight championship seven times.
 
He was the perfect anti-hero for the crowd that loved horror movies like “Friday the 13th” and “Halloween.” He was sort of a distant wrestling cousin of Freddie Krueger, with an imposing figure and one step in death and the other in life.
 
Calaway actually wrestled under different monikers with other wrestling organizations before reaching the then WWF, but once he got to the big time in 1990, there was absolutely no looking back for him.
 
And when he teamed with manager Paul Bearer, the WWE came up with so many wild gimmicks for the two. The sky was truly the limit for Calaway, and the WWE pretty much went past the sky—and some would say to Hell and back—with the character, who was introduced as a heel but soon became just about everyone’s favorite morbid grappler.
 
He debuted his character at Survivor Series 30 years ago, so it was fitting that he would close the book on the character at that event in 2020, a year where morbidity became all the rage because of the coronavirus.
 
I mean, the Undertaker fit right into that, in such a macabre way.
 
The WWE sent him out on the red carpet last night. After announcing a group of classic wrestlers who attended the final appearance of the Undertaker—including Ric Flair and Booker T—Chairman of the Board Vince McMahon came out and made a speech, clearly with a tear on his eye for his organization’s greatest creation.
 
After he made his speech, everyone was cleared out and the Undertaker had the floor to himself, and in a short speech, Calaway never broke character amidst the lights and the fog and his theme music and his classic ring attire, pretty much saying with his character’s dead-on, gravelly voice that while the Undertaker put out the lights for so many wrestlers during the years, it was now time for him to dim his own lights.
 
And when he was done, he strode off into the darkness, never to be seen again in this character.
 
Wrestling retirements are sort of like Cher retirements, where wrestlers can leave the ring and then show up interminably over months and years, never really fully retiring.
 
But for Calaway, it appears that it is truly the end of the road.
 
He is 55 years old, but all the ring wear has made his body a mass of surgically repaired body parts, and he looks way older than those years.
 
His 21-0 streak in Wrestlemania way behind him, except for a few bouts here and there, he mainly appeared on WWE shows as nothing more than a guest star and a draw, usually just appearing and then leaving as quickly as he came.
 
He did have some bouts over the past five years or so, and even if he didn’t have bouts, he did put his signature Tombstone move on many wrestlers, but you could see how labored these recent moves were—Calaway simply could not do it anymore, and when he pushed himself, he further hurt himself, making his body a mess not worthy of the Undertaker name.
 
So he finally bowed out gracefully last night.
 
For the past few years, he has been mainly a trainer with WWE, so he will probably continue in that capacity, only fully retiring from the ring.
 
He is married to another former wrestler, Michele McCool, so she full well knows what her husband has gone through over the years.
 
So, with the Undertaker’s retirement, even the undead need to take a break and step aside for younger, more agile talent, and Mark Calaway did just that last night, and did it with a lot of grace and a lot of panache.
 
Will he ever return as the Undertaker? As I said earlier, I wouldn’t bet against it, but for all intents and purposes, last night was it for him and the character.
 
My son and I watched his final bow together, and again, it brought two generations together to celebrate a personality that has touched both our lives.
 
We were fortunate to actually see him perform live at the Nassau Coliseum a few years back, and in person, his presence was not only seen but felt in person.
 
Callaway was the real deal.
 
He was not, as some proclaim, the top wrestler ever.
 
There were others, like Bruno Sammartino and Hulk Hogan, who clearly transcended the sport and brought it to new levels.
 
He was not as good as Ric Flair, not as good as Stone Cold Steve Austin, not as good as the current glimmering light of pro wrestling, Roman Reigns.
 
But his character was the greatest creation of professional wrestling, and he lived up to every promise that that character was pointed to and was primed for.
 
So goodbye to the Undertaker …
 
REST … IN … PEACE. 

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