Rant #2,531: Picture This

The world is back to normal.
 
Nope, we have not finally ended the presidential mess just yet, but the world is back to normal.
 
I am going to use a different parameter to make that call right now.
 
I am going to use something called the “Hurley-meter,” a concept of my own invention.
 
And right now, today, as I got up out of bed, took a shower, got dressed, went out to get the newspaper, had breakfast and sat down at my computer, I know that the world is right again.
 
How do I know that?
 
Using the Hurley-meter, that’s how.
 
I simply turned into my ultra-reliable Yahoo home page, which always brings me the top news of the day, and nothing but the top news of the day, and lo and behold, I found that model/actress/jetsetter and perpetual nobody Elizabeth Hurley is once again flaunting her fantastic figure right there for all to see.
 
So yes, the world is back to normal.
 
We have not had a single Hurley sighting in several weeks—I guess she laid low because she could not compete with the final vestiges of the presidential race—but now that that is pretty much over and done with, it is time for a Hurley sighting, and yes, we have one this morning!
 
“Elizabeth Hurley Flaunts Her Figure In Low-But Purple Swimsuit” is the headline, and it appears that Ms. Hurley took a selfie that she made public to the world showing not a full photo of her, but just her top, naturally, so we all can wonder how a 50-something woman could possibly have such a figure naturally.
 
I will give her credit; she is an absolutely gorgeous woman, with evidently very good genes,
 
And I guess at this stage of her career—where film roles are going to be very few, simply because she is nothing more than eye candy, and really doesn’t have much acting talent—this is the way she and her handlers have decided to keep her in the public view.
 
I guess in the old days, she might pose in the altogether for Playboy, but since sailor man Hugh Hefner passed away a few years back, that magazine has pretty much gone with him, so that is not an outlet for her to show off her beauty at the very old age of 55.
 
The best way in today’s world to flaunt what you have is to do it on the Internet, and Hurley has been doing just that for a number of years.
 
Look, I find Hurley to be extremely attractive, but I don’t find 55 years of age to be ancient, and that is pretty much the direction of her posts—she has a perfect figure, and at such an advanced age!
 
Please!
 
Will she be doing this five years, maybe even 10 or 15 years down the line?
 
If that happens, it will reek of what some old adult film stars do when their time is passed them: they are so desperate to be wanted again, that some of them perform in over-50 videos trying to recapture their old “spirit” again.
 
I will leave the description at that.
 
Is Hurley headed in that direction in her own way?
 
Will she be flaunting herself in her bikini at age 60, age 65, age 70, age 75, age 80, or even beyond that?
 
I guess she is becoming the Zsa Zsa Gabor of the new millennium, a woman who is famous for nothing … but at least beauty queen winner Gabor had the sense to keep her clothes on and simply appear on “The Tonight Show” to keep her famous.
 
Again, I find Hurley to be a beautiful woman, and when she posts something new, I know the world is right again.
 
But personally, I would ask her if I could, “How long to you think you can continue to do this? What is your endgame?”
 
But as long as guys like me—and gals too, admit it—watch her flaunt her stuff, I guess she is getting the desired effect, and the answer to those questions is pretty oblivious:
 
“Forever.”