Rant #2,374: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Today is May 15, and that makes it a memorable Wednesday for me.

The date has lots of meaning to me each and every year, or at least for the past 31 years.

Let me tell you why.

The Good: Thirty-one years ago today, I became a father for the first time.

My then-wife delivered to me a perfect baby girl, and right then and there, I had to grow up quickly, not putting me first but putting this little bundle of joy at the top of the list.

She was absolutely beautiful, with a long mane of pitch black hair to go with her little bouncy body.

What happened to myself and her mother happened, but I always looked forward to the weekends, or at least alternate weekends, when I would see my daughter and we would go all around and have lots of fun together.

Look, I knew it could not last like this forever, but when the fun ended, it ended pretty abruptly.

But you know what? When I do see her, which is sporadically at best, I still get that good feeling in my gut.

She is my first born, and I guess that feeling will never change. I am very proud of her, proud of her accomplishments and proud of what the future holds for her, just like I am for my son.

Happy birthday to her, and many more!

The Bad: Well, it was actually yesterday, but we will talk about it today.

We lost Tim Conway yesterday, at age 85, and this classic second banana was really second to no one on television, where he made audiences laugh for 50 years.

Yes, his most memorable role was as the perpetual guest star on "The Carol Burnett Show," but the midwestern born Conway first hit the funny bone target on "McHale's Navy," where he played second banana--or sometimes even third banana--to Oscar winner Ernest Borgnine and Joe Flynn.

Like his idol Don Knotts did with Andy Griffith, Conway supplemented Borgnine's more brash comedic style perfectly and more subtly, but we laughed at both actors--and Flynn--as they battled life's ills in the show's World War II setting.

Later came "The Carol Burnett Show," and we all know the hilarity that he brought to that show, and in particular, to Harvey Korman. This "Mutt and Jeff" duo made us laugh, but nobody laughed harder than Korman, who seemingly could not keep a straight face whenever he was paired with Conway. Normally, such shows of ad lib laughter would be left on the cutting room floor, but Burnett and the others running the show were so taken by the off the cuff lapses that Korman had that they left them in the show, and people actually looked forward to these comedic interruptions.

But before the Burnett show came about, Conway guest statted on numerous shows, and actually had one show in particular of his own that I will talk about here, where the second banana was the star--and it simply did not work out.

"Rango" was an ABC sitcom in the late 1960s that even Conway called "the worst sitcom ever," but personally, I think he was being a bit hard on himself.

The show was an "F-Troop" ripoff where Conway played the sheriff of a western town where violence seemingly never occurred. Even though he could do no right, and was completely inept, he was put in this position because his father was a high-ranking captain.

Anyway, knowing that Rango was in charge, crooks finally came to the town, tried to overrun it, but somehow, Rango always saved the day.

That is how I remember the show, which ran for just 17 episodes and co-starred comic Guy Marks as an Indian, continuing the Jewish/Italian Indian vibe that started on "F-Troop."

Anyway, the show sunk without a trace, I don't think it is on video, and you can only see faint traces of it on YouTube.

I loved the show, always got a big kick out of it, but I guess I was the only one.

Conway also starred in "The Tim Conway Show," another footnote to his long and very funny career. He will definitely be missed.

The Ugly: Honestly, I don't know what could be uglier than legislators elected by American citizens rewriting history to show that the Palestinians actually helped Israel succeed in its early mission as the Jewish State, or an actress who needs to keep her face fresh in our minds telling woman to hold back sex from their male partners until Georgia changes its abortion laws.

Uninformed people who have the pulpit of America are dangerous people, rewriting history and demanding that we follow their beliefs, even though they do not know what they are talking about in even the slightest way.

I won't mention their names to give them any further press, but you probably know who they are.

Their views are ugly, senseless and make bigger schisms among us than we already have.

How anyone can applaud these two charlatans is beyond me, but they do have their followers.

Let's stop this nonsense and put a sock in their mouths so they won't spill this filth anymore.