Rant #2,317: You Better, You Bet

I am better, but not 100 percent as of this writing.

After getting bronchitis, I actually was better, went to work, started writing the blog here again.

And then I got hit, out of the blue, with the worst intestinal virus I can ever remember getting.

I was sick as could be, could not keep anything down while seemingly everything was coming out, if you get my drift.

It took me about three days to somewhat get over that, and here I am today, still with bronchitis and the virus, but feeling OK and getting better every day.

I was/still am very run down, and that is why this stuff finally got to me.

Honestly, I am going to try to slow down a bit, but knowing me, it just is not possible. There are too many things going on with me and around me and affecting me that there really isn't much I can do about it.

What did I do to occupy myself on the days I was in the house?

Well, on the days that I did not simply sleep the day away--and I mean, sleep pretty much the entire day away, from morning to evening--I watched some TV, which both made me sick at how bad daytime TV is and made me think that I cannot watch this for one more minute, so I have to get better so I can go to work and escape this televised ineptitude.

And with my naturally pleasantly warped sense of humor, I just thought about how the shows from yore would be so much different today if they ran new in 2019 than they were when they ran new in the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s.

Based on the political climate, the PC mentality we have now, the need to be enraged about something, here are a few shows that I surmise would have to be quite different today if they ran as brand new shows.

Father Knows Best: Well, dad really couldn't know best, because that would go against the grain of what many in today's world believe is true. Dad would have to be an alcoholic, Betty, the oldest daughter, would have to be a bit more mature than advertised, Bud would have to be a pothead and even Kitten would not be as innocent as she seemed to be, with lots of dark secrets. Only mom would be as straitlaced as possible, keeping the clan together in a seamless way.

(Wait--the real life group of actors portraying these characters actually were what you call "kind of screwed up" in real life. Robert Young WAS an alcoholic, and actually became blacklisted for a time in Hollywood for his behavior. He resurrected himself through this show, and the rest is history. Elinor Donahue WAS a bit too mature, and she was married during the length of this show's history, at the ripe old age of 17 or so. Billy Gray WAS one of Hollywood's first acknowledged potheads, and I believe he was actually arrested during the filming of the series for possession. And Lauren Chapin WAS during times of her life a drug addict and prostitute, until she found God, and became an evangelist. And Jane Wyatt WAS the straitlaced member of the cast, with cast members to this day stating that she was the glue that held everything together on that show. So I guess life really is stranger than fiction.)

All in the Family: Today, the Bunkers would absolutely, definitely be an African-American family, and yes, Archie Bunker would be the chief bigot. Edith would still be his subservient wife, but one with an attitude. Gloria would be Gloria, and Mike? Probably a white guy to appease those at the network who feel that you have to appeal to millennials.

(Wait--the short-lived Hauser Place sitcom on CBS in the early 1990s did show that the Bunkers had moved out, replaced by a black family, where the father was, in fact, a bigot. So again, I guess fiction is really stranger than fiction.)

Gilligan's Island: Well, in today's world, Gilligan would have to be gay; the Skipper would have to be a letch (or would that be Mr. Howell or both of them); the Professor would have to be the Don Juan of the island, switching back and forth, and sometimes at the same time, with Ginger, who would continue to be oversexed but would be able to act out her fantasies--as a transgender female-- and Mary Ann, who wasn't the innocent girl that everyone thought she was. That left Mrs. Howell, who was actually an old lesbian, hence Mr. Howell being a letch. He married her for status, but they went their own ways when it came to their hut.

(Wait--you just know that if a movie ever comes out as it has been talked about for ages, that the innocence of the original show would not be possible.)

Well, that's three shows that come to mind which probably would not run as they did way back when. I was also thinking The Brady Bunch and My Three Sons, too, but the possibilities for those sitcoms are so numerous that I will leave it to you to figure out all the couplings that would probably occur if those shows were new today--and which ones actually did occur, according to what we know 50 years after the fact.

As far as being "new today," I feel new, or renewed, so hopefully, I won't have to take another break from this blog.

So I welcome myself back, the time off gave us all a chance to breathe a little bit, and here I go again!

Have a good weekend, and speak to you again on Monday.