Classic Rant #969 (May 23, 2013): Faster, Faster

Well, I done did it.

After resisting for months, I upgraded my family's bundle.

No, we did not have another child.

The bundle I am referring to is our Internet/phone/television bundle, so now we supposedly have the fastest speeds available for a residential customer.

We are up to 75mg on the Internet, so the speed is supposed to be so fast that it will blur me, or at least blow me away.

We now have digital phone, which means that the major difference is that we have to dial our area code while making calls within our calling area.

In other words, since we live on Long Island, we have to dial 516 plus the number rather than just the number when we are calling within our area.

But we were promised so many other phone features that I was floored.

(Not really.)

And as far as TV, we had the basic package, which I am told is no longer being offered. We were "behind the times" as they say, and now, we are ahead of the times. We have a couple of movie channels.

Well, I am on the Internet now, what are my impressions.

The computer connected to the Internet much faster, but admittedly, when I went to this site to begin my Rant, I don't think it moved any faster than normal.

My wife is on her iPad, and she didn't notice any discernible difference.

My son isn't up yet, so I don't know if he will see any difference on his laptop computer.

(He later told me he didn't see anything faster; in fact, he thought it went slower!)

I did turn on the TV, went to one of the Showtime Channels we now have, and the classic "Bikini A-Go-Go" was on.

Yes, I am satisfied. Already I am satisfied.

My family is a little unusual because we happen to have two different systems in our house. We have Dish Network in the living room, and Verizon in the two bedrooms.

The reason we have both is that my parents, who live beneath us, have Dish, and the whole house at one time was wired for Dish, going on probably near 20 years now.

When Dish pretty much dropped its entire local sports lineup, I was fuming, because I couldn't watch the Yankees or the Knicks, so I decided to keep Dish in the living room for the movie channels and get Verizon in the bedroom for sports. This also allowed my parents to keep Dish, which they like, and we have a very good plan with Dish anyway.

So, we aren't paying as much as other people who have one system, and we have the best of both worlds by having both.

Yes, you can say that I am a TV nut. I always have been. My mother says that when I was in the crib, I used to look forward to watching American Bandstand on our old Dumont black and white TV, and I would jump up and down in the crib to the musical acts on that show, which at the time was on daily.

Wow, I am old, aren't I? But I still love my TV.

And I have come to enjoy the Internet, too, as witnessed by the existence of this page.

And the phone ... well, I have never been much of a phone lover, but you have to have one, don't you?

So now my family and I are in "the high speed generation" ... until the next iteration of speeds on the Internet comes out, and we are left behind in the dust.

But for right now, we are fast, so watch out for us!

We will pass you by at any moment!