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Monday, December 19, 2016

Rant #1,803: Bits and Pieces

As I welcome myself back to my daily column--I took off Friday, and yes, my eyes passed the test, and I don't have to worry about anything for the next six mpnths--there are a couple of stories I would like to talk about that don't deserve full column examinations. Here they are:

1) Completely Weird Weather: I don't know about in your neck of the woods, but where I am, we had some of the weirdest, strangest weather I have ever seen this weekend into today.



It got very cold here late in the week, and on Friday, it got down to 17 degrees at one point. Perhaps it was even colder, but that is the lowest temperature I saw.

Then, on Saturday, we got our first snowstorm of winter 2016-2017, and while the forecasters said that we would get about a coating where I was, we ended up getting maybe an inch or two or mushy show, the heavy snow that we hate, because it is so full of water and ice that it is difficult to pick up with your shovel.

The reason it was like this was because of such a snow, the temperature shot up from the 20s into the 30s and 40s, and the snow turned to rain.

I shoveled just enough so that my elderly parents could get to their car, but I didn't do the normal shoveling that I regularly do every winter because based on the forecasts, it wasn't worth it.

The weathermen forecast that it was going to get warmer overnight, and be in the high 50s to low 60s on Sunday, so when I woke up on Sunday, the snow was almost completely gone--and yes, it was warm outside. Later in the day, when my wife and I went shopping, I actually saw people wearing shots and one woman wearing a tank top!

Anyway, I am sure even they covered up, because as the day went on, it got much colder again, so by 5 p.m., it went from about 58 degrees down to the 30s, and with the wind that came up, it got down to the 20s later on. I think it is now in the 30s.

There were reports of a lot of damage brought on by the sudden change of weather, with lots of trees down and with them, power lines.

But heck, it is December, and we have at least three and half months more of colder weather.

The last few days were bizarre, but it isn't going to get any better until mid April, so bundle up--no more shorts or tank tops. There will be plenty of time for that next year.

2) Dr. Heimlich Dies: Dr. Henry Heimlich died at age 96 a few days ago, and I owe a lot to this doctor. I owe my daughter's life to him.



Dr. Heimlich was the creator of the controversial Heimlich Maneuver to dislodge food from a person's windpipe. I used it once, and however controversial it was, it might have saved my daughter's life.

She was about three years old, and she loved MacDonald's hamburgers at the time. Every time I saw her--alternating weekends at the time, during my divorce--we would go to the fast food restaurant. At one point, we went to darn near every MacDonald's on Long Island, and even one or two in Queens.

Anyway, we were at the MacDonald's in Plainview, New York--near where she lived with her mother--and as usual, we ordered the kid's meal with the toy, so she got her hamburger, fries, a drink and a toy.

My daughter was eating as she normally did as I chomped on my Big Mac, but then I noticed that her face was turning color, and she looked like she was choking, not being able to catch her breath.

I rant over to her, and immediately--almost without thinking--applied the Heimlich Maneuver on her, grabbing her from the back, making a fist on her chest, and pushing in.

I did it maybe once or twice, and the piece of hamburger became dislodged, falling out of her mouth. We both breathed a sigh of relief, and we proceeded with our meal as if nothing happened.

An older gentleman came up to me, and said, "Good job," and that was that. Happily, I never had to use the procedure again, something I learned simply by reading about it in the newspaper.

And yes, my daughter actually remembers this incident, probably one of the first things she remembers about her childhood.

Some have questioned how it is to be applied, and some have questioned whether it actually works, but in my case, it worked like a charm.

Thank you, Dr. Hemlich. Thank you very much.

3) Zsa Zsa Gabor Dies: Zsa Zsa Gabor, after what appeared to be the longest illness in Hollywood history, passed away yesterday at age 98.



I am not making light of her passing, but remember, according to Internet reports, this woman was as good as dead, three, four, maybe even five years ago.

But you cannot believe everything you read on the Internet, and she certainly proved that with her staying power.

The Hungarian beauty, who I guess was an actress but really was simply one of the first Hollywood "personalities"--paving the way for the Paris Hilton and Khardashians of the world of celebrity--was a frequent guest on talk shows in the 1950s through the 1980s, and while you could say that she didn't have a product to promote--her film career was pretty scarce--she did have plenty to promote on these shows.

She promoted herself, and this was in the pre-Internet age, where the only place she could push herself was on these shows.

She told funny stories about her love life, her run ins with police, and her family--including her sisters Eva and Magda--and she was funny and eccentric as all get up.

With her tangled accent mixed with her good looks, this lady knew how to push all the comedic buttons, even though she wasn't a comic per se.

But if you were Johnny or Merv, you had to have her on your show at least three or four times a year. And she never disappointed.

4) Celebrating My Father's Birthday and His Retirement All In One Day: Yesterday, at my sister's house, we celebrated both my father's retirement from working and his 85th birthday.



It was a fun time, and he ate it all up, as he should have.

We had my family there, my sister's family, my mom, and my aunt, my father's sister, and we had a great time.

Family really is a great thing to have, and family always comes first ... and my father deserved the accolades he received yesterday.

He is a real mensch, he defines the word, and now, he hopefully will have at least 85 more years to enjoy his retirement to the fullest.

Bravo!

That is it for now. Speak to you again tomorrow.

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