Classic Rant #412 (December 28, 2010): I Don’t Get It … But Evidently He Does (And She Does Too)

Well, I am back.

The time off wasn't too great. We saw "The Little Fockers." Pretty much in one ear, out the other. Nothing with nothing. I guess this is the perfect film for the holiday season, the season where people traditionally don't do too much thinking.

My Internet at home went down again. We had a technician in--during a blizzard no less--and he found the problem. It was outside in the "brain" of the device. It works great now.

And yes, about that blizzard ... I don't think it was as bad as predicted, but that doesn't mean it wasn't bad--it was. We were pretty much housebound the entire weekend, and I must admit I have house-a-tosis.

Anyway, during this time, word came out that Hugh Hefner, who is 84 years old, I do believe, has just gotten himself engaged to one of his 24-year-old blondes that he has parading around his house and starring on various TV shows geared to Playboy.

I don't even know her name, but does it really matter? She is blond, is tall and long-legged, has an enhanced figure, and is 60 years younger than her husband to be.

What is it with this guy? It has to be the money. Why else would a 24 year old woman shack up with an 84 year old man?

It can't possibly be anything else but cash, or the payday she thinks she will get when he kicks off. Not to say Hugh has one foot in the grave, but don't tell me that she is marrying him for his good looks and humor.

Well, he has announced that he can still do it (thanks, Viagra!), but still, what can a 24 year old see in a man who is more than three times her age?

He is old enough to be her grandfather ... and her great grandfather.

This is the guy you want to bring home to your parents, who are probably themselves old enough to be his children?

I have a 22 year old daughter. If she brought home an 84 year old guy and looked for my approval, I don't care how much money he has, I would roll my eyes and wonder what my daughter was up to.

Hefner has kids ranging from into their 50s down to their young 20s. You think Hef's younger kids aren't taking notice of their dad's new bimbo?

And what about the older ones--this girl could be their own kid!

I don't get it, but of course, he does.

It's real good for his image, and maybe he can make another kid with this wife, his third.

On her end, financially, it will probably set her for life, especially if she can get pregnant and have a child.

But again, I say this:

Only in America ... and congrats!